Thursday, March 20, 2008

Holi Crap.

Time, around 6:30PM. Location: Mumbai Suburb ki galiyan.
People returning from their workplaces, thinking about the upcoming holidays.. rather "holi"days, ID, Easter etc.. People from different religions may come together or they may not but the festivals of those religions do come together.

I was lurking around on my bike.. err cycle.. on my daily stroll around the town.
Lurking in a hope to see good looking ladies. Holidays get more of those species on the streets.
And I was having a 'good' time.
Its almost natural to look at the terrace tops of the buildings as the holi day approaches. Yeah..for those dreaded water balloons. And the water inside them is by no means"mineral" water.
Even my urine is cleaner than that thing. **conditions apply.
Anyways, I was passing by some locality, a locality where there is the highest probability density of HAWT girls.

And suddenly * THAAAP*, and * AAAAAAAaa*
and before I could even think that I may have witnessed the first holi balloon victim, I found myself holding a florescent ball--the goldspot ball aka tennis ball--which is much widely used here to play cricket. And this was the "hard" types.

And across the street I could see a lady holding her right eye and sobing.
* Lady's' profile*(always important under any circumstance): short, married, moderate build..her voice..--on the basis of her 'AAAAaaa' and sobbing was sexy (No I am not a saddist). I didnt concentrate on her looks... man she got HIT!!

I approached her after some hesitation...and said "maam..sit down ..maam please sit down.."
but like every other girl whom I have ever approached to talk, she too didn't take any note of my existence. With me others followed, those office going guys.. the roadrunners, the shop lifters, the "where it itches...scratch" type of guys. And ofcourse some more ladies.
One of the ladies from a nearby dispensary literally took the hand off HER eye and doctored her.

And then the culprit, the one who had caused this turmoil arrived at the scene.. He was a teen.. an over grown teenager, no not fat.. some one who had joined the gym as soon as he was born...
He approached her and almost shouted on her.. "tumko laga kya?""paani chahiye kya?"
"vo ball tree ko lagke laga na?"

abee DKBOSE! Interview le raha hai kya!... Like it was the tree's fault!
Some 'uncle' was around scratching his things, eyeing those gathered ladies and gyaaning the overgrown kid... " itne jor se kyon khelte ho" 
And it was a scene..
The damage had been done.. I wondered if that lady cried not for the ball hitting her but thinking about what if that had been a balloon and she would have been the victim of "eye lost due to the impact of water balloon".. and she looked newly married.. the tensions are obvious.. "Bahu ki ek aankh nahi hai, beta tu ddosri shaadi karle" type of tensions.


*Irrelevant Note:: A police man spat on me while I was trying to overtake the police ki gaddi .. I called him an asshole.. and he smiled*

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Exam times, weird thoughts, meaningless dreams.

The climate was monsoon-ish. Hell lot of monsoon-ish.
Indra-devta seena taan ke moot rahe thay dharti par.
Month of July, first week may be, detail mein yaad nahi hai.
I was returning from my new college, which had just commenced its academic hathyakaand on me some days back, on my new avenger, bajaj avenger   (vo feels like god wala bike).


Listening to the news on the radio, not actually the news it was like traffic updates in midst of a chappad chappad of the radio jockeys of Meow 104.8 FM , India's first 'just for women' radio channel. Why was I listening to THAT particular radio frequency? Tune the radio to that frequency on Wednesdays and Thursdays in between 10 PM to 1 AM and LISTEN ;)


They were talking about a high tide and flooding etc in many parts of Mumbai, in other words the rain , the sea and the mumbai island were having an awesome threesome.
Myself,  residing on the ground floor of a residential apartment had much to worry about my newly acquired material possessions: My PS3, the PC , the TV..oh and books.. who could forget those humble friends.


Amongst this worry I was speeding my bike and thinking about the water level rising at my home. Back in 2005, flooding took away my pentium III machine. It was a blessing in disguise, I was bored of that old lady anyway. Saali Roadrash bhi aatak aatak ke chalati thi. But this time it was one HOT chick, the PS3 that I HAD to save from the waters. I could literally hear her screaming for help.
I cruised towards my home at a higher speed.


I was about to pass a moderately flooded part of the Express Highway when suddenly in my field of view there appeared a goddess!! Ah! What beauty! She was wearing a blue skirt and a white top, had curly hair which were weirdly tied upwards. No not in a bun.. like a pony tail but scattered one. Had an awesome face value and way way way too beautiful eyes, and and ..she was accompanied by a kid!?? What the fhaakin fhak..she didn't even seem eighteen, at most nineteen!! most girls in this era of this age don't have children!! but one never know, she may turn out to be the"santoor" mummy but she seemed ..... well.. too young for that too.
And the child she had with her didn't look like her child at all.
He/she was dark, had very very bad looking hair, hardly wore any clothes - though this isn't a qualifying point anymore between the rich and the poor. But I was certain that child wasn't her's.
But then she could be wanna be Angelina jolie, jo bhi bacchaa samne aya godh mein ootha lo..


She had a worrying face, she looked like she was in trouble.
My masculine mind sprang up and screamed: SHOW TIME!!
(Yes masculine 'mind', not masculine 'part'.. so the springing up shouldn't be taken literally)
I got those wheels rolling towards her, but then just when I was 'this' close to her, a car drove towards her and stopped.
A guy in ganji and jeans .. muscles etc boleh toh ek dum takatak ladka stepped out of the car.
I thought ye bhi hooked booked and may be cooked girl hai but then the convo between them seemed like a rather "stranger to stranger" conversation..with that said she sat into his car with the kid and they drove away...
At that moment I was cursing my bajaj avenger..muttering "feel like god?? ghanta.. I was feeling more like an asshole right now.."
Opportunity Gone. In Merc E Class.
I was back to the no show time world and tried to focus on my primary babe, the PS3.