Monday, December 08, 2008

Chindi giri

Exactly, thats what I was doing for some days now.. and it reflected very well in the exams yesterday.I got royally fhaaked up..

Anyways ,some one asked me to tell em abt the general mumbai lingo and here I am writing it down.. it may not be the exact version.. but thats what I used among people of similar age group.


...I would rather write a blog post in that lingo instead of explaining each and every term..........

" apun ko toh yeich sabhko samzhaneka hai ki aisa chindi giri exam ke pehle nai karneka sala ekdumich vaat lag jata hai.bolehtoh ekdum kutte mafhik."
"sala exam bhi aisa ki subah subah khopdi soojane keliye sade nau baje rakha.. aur vo bhi kidhar.. ekdum khopche mein bole toh ekdum se colaba mein."
"mein toh bola aaichya gavat.. inlok ko duper ko rakhne mein kya hota hai.. sala neend ka falooda kardene ka fhokat mein."
"itnaich nahi toh apun bhi sala yede jaisa poora raat jaagta tha.. toh sala subah oothne ke vaande ho gaye..."
"kaisa toh haag mooth ke, 2 maska pav khake pahoonch gaya railway station.." naseeb se milgaya fast train.... takatak VT janewala..
abb socha accha hai jaldi pohoonch jaoonga.. lekin ghanta jaldi .. chinchpokli mein sala agee peechvada hilate huee ek express train ja rahi thi.. toh barabar mere walilocal ke bambooo maar diye.fhir bhi pahooncha VT aath beees ko.
pehli baat toh sala security vahan pe taan ke thi.. sabh ko pakad pakad ke poonch rahe the mamu lok..
aur mein toh sala shave haircut kuch bhi nahi kiya tha.. sabh mamu lok mereko dekh rahe the aur bula rahe the.. gharse nikal ne se pehle aai boli bhi thi ..""tu pakka atankwadi distos""
VT station se finally vantas hoke pahoonch gaya bus stop.. bus bhi ekdum dhinchak jaldi aagaya.. teeen number ka.. dhakka bukka mar ke kaise toh chadh gaya..
6 rupiyaa ticket.. laga bhendi kitna dooor hoga ye..last time gaya tha lekin bhul gaya.. khopdi mein itna kisko yaad rehta hai..... waisee bus ka driver ekdum soomdee mein chala raha tha gaddi ko.. ekdum bhaga ke..
Bus mein ka aadha public naya tha..naya bole toh first time visitors to colaba.. toh sabh lok khidki ke bahar dekh rela tha sabh "atankwadi sites" ko.. leopald cafe.. metro cinema etc..
apun toh sabh fhirang kudi ko dhoondh dhoondh ke dekh rela tha..
lekin sala ye fhirangi lok jitna TV pe accha dikhta hai ootna real mein ekdum bhusa lagta hai.. saab laal laal... mumbai ka dhuph unki khol ke marti hai..
dekhte dekhte.. ajata hai stop... last stop...
stop se thoda hi aage chalke exam centre tha. ooddhaar registration sabh hone ke baad.. sala kitna security.. itna check kiya itna check kiya ki muzhe sirfh nanga karneka baki tha..Metal detector se sala chipka chipka ke dekh raha tha..Vo jagah bhi nahi choda.. mera oodhar lagaya toh "beep" kiya :|.. metal detector ne beep kiya .. 'usne' nahi.. sala security wale ne smile diya.. gay sala..
exam centre bhi ye punter logon ne auditorium mein rakha tha.. aur oodhar projector pe unke institute ka film chalu tha.. sabse pehlee exam hall mein pahoochneke baad apun item lok kitna hai vo dhoodhta hai..itne nahi tha... thoda sad ho gaya apun.. lekin chalta hai...
doosra thing hai mooth ke aane ka..toh apun gaya.. lekin sala loo ke naam pe poore audi ke liye ek loo tha.. first floor pe.. sala oodhar bhi line!
bhendi mein socha sala pant mein hi ho jayega...
ruka rukaa .. hold kiya bahut.. finally mil gaya loo mein jane ko..
ho gaya ye kaam bhi.. abhi last kaam exam likhne ka :|

vapis aya hall mein toh muzhe aage baithneko bola..muzhe problem nahi tha.. mera loo session ke time mein oodhar kafhi chickwas agaya tha :D..
sabhko ye lok ne cardboard ka pad diya..sala aisaa chu giri tha ye.. audi ke seats mein teen ghanta ghanti bajke exam likhneka.. benches nahi kuch nahi..
paper mila toh aur ek shot baith gaya.. aisa fhaaddoo paper nikala tha..
exam ke beech mein aisaa taan ke bhookh laga aur oppaar seneend aareli thi..lekin exam questions hosh uudaa rahe the... aisa khopdi satak gaya..kaise toh khatam ho gaya..
barabar se gotay jaam hogaye , exam ne poora nanga kar diya.. boleh toh khol ke maar di.
socha sala abhi padhna padega.. ye sala apun ka dimag bhi shot hai.. exam hone ke baad padhneka man hota hai.. exam ke pehli nanga naachne ka man karta hai..
vahan pe mere junior bhi the.. ladki thi.. boli paper accha gaya .. :|
sala satke hue dimag se mein finally bus pakda ..
bus stop pe kuch "to be scientists" paper discuss kar rahe the.. mera aur bhi satak gaya.. aur ho gaya aadha dimag dukhna shuru.. sala itna shot baitha ki mein bus se ootra to kisi galat stop pe.. aaddhaa rasta chalna pada.. and duper ko sala koi kudi bhi nahi raste pe...
bhukh bhi lagi thi.. koi sala vadapav ka dukan bhi khula nahi tha.. fhir socha last time VT aya tha to mc donalds kidhar toh dekha tha....
finally mil gaya mc donalds..
vaise dekhne jaye toh mc donalds ek harbaree ke zhaadh pe chadhaya hua vada pav ka dukan hai..
andargaya.. chicks hi chicks... bade baap ki bighdi hui betiyaan...(BBBB).. geometrical maal thi sabh..thobhda make up mein dubaya tha..
mc donalds ke ander counter ke samne sabh menu board pe mein 25 Rs ka burger dhoondh raha tha...sala khopche mein dala tha.. fhir meri khopdi fhirse satak gayi socha aaj kuch mehenga khaoonga.. 60 Rs ka chicken mcgrill.. naam hi itna mehenga tha..socha le ke dekhoon
vo counter ke pehle ek aadmi khada rehta hai coupons baatte hue .. kya fhatafhat bolta hai..
goodafternoon sir..welcome to mcdonalds sir what would you like to have sir..sala he sounded like vo bhikhari lok standing when you are in a ticket Q.. mein bola mcgril chicken wala.. aur usko sau ka hara patti dikhaya.. ye soch ke sala mere thombde pe nahi jayee ye..
toh vo bola we dont have it sir.. would you like the maharaja.. .. mein bola nahi be.. maharani nahi hai kya.. and ye bahut costly bhi tha..mein bola ye 25 ka burger de.. vo poora disappoint ho gaya.. bolaa "small burger?".. haan haan small small.. abhi aukaat maat nikal jaldi de..vo bola would you like some cheese sir?.. haan haan daal de cheese chinese japnese batameez.. toh vo kuch paper fhaad ke diya mere ko..
counter pe gaya toh fhir aur ek shuru ho gaya.. goodafternoon sir welcome to... aai shappaath..please stand this side sir.. your order will soon be around.. would you like to get some softdrinks?.. want it parceled or here.. meine restaurant mein aur ek look mara.. kudiyoon ki sankhyaa dekh ke socha abhi toh idhar ich khaoonga..vo aadmi sala record ke mafhik shuru hi tha.. sir have a good day sir.. 35 Rs sir.. heres your 65Rs sir..aila..
sala agar koi atankwadi mc donalds mein burger khane aya toh isko pehla marega.. kitna bolta hai...chapad chapad..ladki mafhiik.. anyway... apun ek corner mein baith gaya.. "chidiyaawatching sweetspot" pe.. dekhte dekhte khaya.. AC ki hava mein ekdum zhakas..
35 Rs well spent .. apart from the chapad chapad..
finally bahar nikal ke socha kuch thanda ho jaye.. jai maharashtra style.. exactly ganne ka juice! 5 Rs mein takatak pyas bhoojh gaya...
vahan se finally station pahooncha.. asangaon train tha.. gardi birdi kuch nahi.. mast khidki ka seat.. samne ek babewa baithi thi.. aur kya chahiye for a dhinchak train ride..
lekin sala mein so gaya.. vo jaam attitude dikha rahi thi.. aur saali bahut ladke lok ko khidki se jhoojh jhookh ke dekh rahi thi..
Finally ghar aagaya.. itna dimag dukhne laga tha.. ki nau ghanta soya.. bocha have mein latka ke.....