Saturday, June 27, 2009

Say what?

Three chicks have defined my voice as " girly" " non-bf-material like" and " pussy "..

Nope am not impotent down there.. just in the vocal section.

I mean I cant get them to blow me instantaneously by making them go weak in their knees after I utter anything.

When I talk with them their content is some what on these lines: .. " My ex called me up.. he says this and that.. what shud i do..." or " Do you think
this dress would look good with my breasts being overly large..." or " the pink color undies or the red one.. which one would look hot on me.. " ..etc etc..
To summerize I end up checking out the pics of their exs.. their crushes.. their "rate-this-guy-as-hot-or-not"s rather than their own pics.

So I have been taking some " vocal chords manipulating " tutorials online..
Watching p0rn and reading kamasutra with my mouth open so that the vocal chords can be trained like the rest of my body parts... well i cant train them physically... its not like that i can shove my hands in my throat and rub the vocal chords...

Anyways.. I have been thinking about writing a blog post about the most probable words uttered by a girl and my inferences abt what they mean... here it is..

1. whatever: This word is uttered by a girl more than the number of times we guys say fuck or
type "sex" in google. This word makes you want to punch the girl in her face.
Its like you talk something very important for sometime and she doesnt
understand a bit due to her low IQ and/or her short attention span, she says
this word to hide her ignorance. I think most girls will be saying this word
instead of " mummy" as their first word.

2. yea whatever.. : Similar definition to the first word.. But the " yes" at the beginning ..
makes you want to punch her more than once.

3. maybe/we'll see : Induces the want to hump her right there.Not for pleasure but due to anger.
Its like she doubts the hope we have about something and the potential in us.

4. Good for you : I seriously dont know why girls say this.Why cant they just say
"congratulations" and shut the fcuk up.
Next time a girl says that to you do this:
Guy :: I got a girlfriend.
Girl :: Good for you.
Guy :: fcuk you .

5. realli???? : This is just an extention of the term " wow".. Its not a question .. though the way
its said makes it feel like one. But then there is no word in a girl's vocab which
does mean what its suposed to mean.

6. yea right.. : You say a very true fact.. more true than area 51.. and the girl smiles stupidly
and utters this.

7. i dont care : I nominate this for the second most "word" uttered by a girl next to "whatever"
i call this as a word cause the speed and the precision which a girl says it
makes it feel like its a one word.

8. look boi... : have you been hitting upon a girl from a distance lately? Are you imagining
her making sweet love to you in your dreams?Are you thinking of confronting her with your crappy " i love you "..? There is a high chance that she will begin
her reply with these words. To summerise, you will have to hunt for a new
chick if this previous chick starts her conversation with you with these words.

9. idiot.. : Mostly harmless. But again the context within which its said is important.

10. HA!! : This isnt the sigh of relief as it first seems to be.. its something weird. Am yet to
infer anything from it yet.. I simply enjoy the onomatophoeia - ic part of this word.

11. hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... : uttered by a girl who has just done with her periods.

12. get a life : I hate this term. Mostly said by those girls who dont have a life of their own.
It has the same effects as the word " whatever".

13. loser...: 3rd most commonly uttered word. It makes you think for a while before replying.
Because logically you havent lost anything.. but you are still being called that.

14.get a life loser.. : 12 + 13 = 14

15: is it? : This question questions the validity of your existance.

16. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa : Again... a post period excitation.

17. nevermind : This is a firewall to your questions to the just uttered crap from her side.
Dont mind it , move on and change the topic. dont understand.. : This has to do with crap like " feelings " and shit.. again.. move on. will never understand : your relationship (if any) is close to termination.

20."its just..." : Mostly followed by the words 18. and/or 19.

21. obviously : Uttered after you have said something that you think is ingenuous.Makes your
statement sound trivial and unimportant.

22. i know.. : new style of saying " yes ". If she is having PMS, the "know" will be extended like

23. i know .. right!! .. : Uttered when you say something and she Agrees to your statement and
imaginingly pats her back. The patting happens when she says " right " in this

24. you wish.. : This makes her sound like some superior being while yourself like some slave.
Seriously speaking.. makes you feel like raping her then and there itself.

Statutory Warning : Ladkiyon pe haath oothana mana hai.