Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Swine flu and You

H1N1 mutant, n95 masks , tamiflu etc etc are the recently added terms to the vocab of people from sweepers to MBA personnel indifferently .. And so is this virus infection scare and ultimately the virus.

Malaria kills more people per day than this beeyatch virus, still it gets the name and the fame...Why? Attitude man!! Viruses have attitudes... ;)
The mosquitoes have started their day time shift and overtime to regain the crown back from this H1N1 mutant.

The media has managed to scare people so much that if the news reporter says insert tampons in your nostrils to protect oneself from swineflu , people would do it.

The "precautions" detailed in the news dailies and everywhere else are " wash your hands", " cover your face when you cough or sneeze", " don't spit".. " avoid crowded places if you are sick".. rewind back to your school days.. weren't these a De facto stuff to follow for a good hygiene ??? People need a friggin virus to make them follow these!!?? A freakin few strands of molecules??? Pathetic..

In Bombay , when in the local trains, the crowd in the second class compartments look like they all are infected by swineflu. Every ones coughing,sneezing.. spitting etc etc..
So flu or no flu they are infected in their minds.

I tried a thing today...While getting to the railway station, walking over the station bridge, it was heavily crowded and almost everyone was wearing a mask or a handkerchief ( or dupattas by girls/women)... just for fun .. I coughed super loudly .. like the patients of Tuberculosis..
And everyone almost got super scared and got away from me like I have shouted " I have got a bomb".. though I got a few abuses from behind... but the scaring them was worth it :p
I mean just coughing can give a power to scare people who are complete strangers!! That's some power!

My college is situated in the " foreigners attraction" area.. near gateway of India... taj and shit like that...
The swineflu scare has made us students from physics department to develop a phobia towards these foreigners .. ( this phobia strangely excludes all female foreigners... okay forget that I said "strangely" ) So some colleague of mine suggested that.. if you see a foreigner on the way, start screaming "swine flu swine flu " and spray them with an insecticide :/
We did try the screaming... and their white skin turned from white to red to some unidentified color in seconds.. like we were observing a color spectrum of a body being heated... heat being the swineflu utterance ...

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

So be vigilant even in the public loo..
Or you will be the part of this virus zoo...

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

To the media you should not believe ..

the media which thinks everything is true..
and doesn't bother to prove...
oh they are just trying to scare you.

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

When in doubt just ask the docs who are the guru..

they are the ones who from day one, knew..
about how much of this flu is true.
They will make it easy for you ..
as easy as two plus two...

So everyone ho jao shuru...
Swine flu is nothing new...
Its natures way to make us pay our due...
It wont stick to you forever like a glue..
Wait a while and you would say " oh the flu? , away it flew"

For the already infected few...
You have no one to sue..
So stop the pursue ..
and go to the doctors crew...
and get few tabs of tamiflu...

And you will sing this shitty song too..

Okay now am out of rhyming words... so just boo.. and leave  :/