Monday, December 27, 2010

I wish, that I couldn't wish.

I wonder what part of our mind drools and wonders....about the "what if" factor..
Or the "I wish..." factor...
Mind is a giant simulating machine. It simulates as much it can.. You can just watch something interesting, and your brain would figure out all possible outcomes you may have after interacting with that "something".. right or wrong doesnt matter.

And am not talking about the generic "wishes".. not those fat ass santaclaustic wishes.Something profound..something on the lines of  " One man's food is another man's poison " kind of wishes. Those wishes you think of  .. colloquially speaking ..' from deep down of your heart ' but then you suppress those wishes thinking.. 'OMG! how the hell can I think of something like that!?'...

Generated from the most ancient part of the brain (this is what I think).. they may be mostly about the most basic desires. They may ignite a tiny spark in your mind which when fanned by your thinking brain may lit a huge ass flame.. aka burning desire.
Most of these wishes should never be brought out to the real world. Thoughts .. not all but most of them must be locked safe in the securities of the non-verbal speech. Coz not all thoughts are worth sharing, and no one in this world is trustworthy enough to share them with.

Well all said and done.. I have decided to unlock and reveal some of my
"I wish" - es.. Why? Coz I am stupid and so are these wishes.
And injecting a bit of stupidity in this profoundly stupid world is of negligible value anyways...

I wish....

That I did not get jealous and insecure every time she mentioned anything pertaining to any other guy..

That I want to be someones first.. and probably someones last..

That I want my first kiss be hers first too...my first love to be hers first too..

That I did not feel guilty while being with her,  thinking in my mind that she may not be the one... and I am wasting my time and energy here.

That I could make a definite decisions of certain things rather than living in an uncertainty...

That I did not fear hurting people.

That I was a bit more selfish.

That my 'feelings' center in my brain shuts down completely.

That I could trust people...

etc etc...

These are actually wishes that my mind strongly feels about.. I dunno why.. Its ridiculous... or is it :/ 

Friday, December 24, 2010

Observing the Observer


Event A: Hunger forced me to eat out at a shady junk food joint in a very elite area of bombay. (The area is so elite that even the cabs there are mostly logans...)

Event B: I ordered a sandwich and sat along side on a semi-broken stool .. watching people and the infrastructure around .. and wondered ..how the fhaakity fhakh did these people get so much money!?

Event C: Two really really hawt chicks arrive at the same fast food stall.. and they are wearing really really short shorts.. like the shortest version of shorts...
I mean if 'short' was a person.. even it would go .." Thats short!.. and it aint me"

Event D: They were standing really close to me.. ( not that I intentionally positioned myself like that... but the space limitation around that stall made them forcibly stand this close...) ( But thats the case with most of the girls I have interacted with.. its always some or the other constrain... *sigh* ) .. But they were standing too close to me.. I mean the bacteria on our skin could communicate with each other.. kind of close...

Event E: I decided to ignore looking at them completely.. except "those" accidental looks.. Coz if I did .. .. I better not say what would have happened...you know.. Natural reactions... 

Event F: I started noticing few interesting things.. well interesting to me atleast..
I mean anything looks interesting if you wanna prevent a flag hoisting ceremony in your pants.

Lets say that.. generally those chicks would have been  the primary system, me being the primary observer.. and rest of the world being the surroundings..
Now since I intentionally tried to have an  anti-straight, anti-pervert mentality about this whole situation.. I saw some difference..
The surrounding became the primary system.. and also a secondary observer.. while I stayed an primary observer.. while the shortened shorts chicks became the secondary system. One might say...I started looking at them, indirectly..

Event G: As I looked around.. I saw people looking at these shorty pants with amazement.. and when I say people.. I meant every one of them.. from 15 to 50.. from their BMWs and AUDIs to cabs and Buses.. with a stare.. a really glaring stare. " oooo I wanna tap that shorts" kind of stare..  Even some chicks stared.. but their stare was more like " Ah I wish I had a booty like that.. with such non hairy long legs.."
But thats just my perception of their stare.. it was an elite locality.. so lesbianism cannot be ruled out.

To get another idea of how hot those chicks were.. , the guy who was selling the junk food started singing justin bieber's Baby Baby.. in an Indian accent ofcourse..  He made justin sound like himesh reshamiya.. ( an improved variant ).
Then he DJed it with some bhojpuri track .. with extremely sultry lyrics.... 

If I come across ( not in the double meaning sense ) any such a shorty pants.. whom I knew personally.. I dont think I would control myself from uttering..
" Holy crap thats short!.. but oooooooooooo wowie  " * drools* O_O


Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Experimentally yours.

                                         Disclaimer: Sadistic post ahead.                                                                               

404,Blogger.com,
Firefox Browser,
Ubuntu 10.04 LTS.
December 8, 2010.


 Dear all Xs and Ys,


             How are you all? Well this standard question has been the initiation of almost all conversations we have ever had or we are currently having or I may have with other Xs and Ys in future. There would be some exceptions with this format though.. some conversations may have began with " hey sexy ".. or similar derivatives of that...

            I have been a "nice guy", atleast relative to the social norms, to most of the X's and Y's and most of you have been nice to me, though your niceness was according to my norms, which may or may not be nice according to the social ones. From your dress styles to your lingerie colors..from your first kiss experience to your first fuck experience...I have been an indirect witness, like an audience who listens to a recorded telecast of a cricket match that took place ages back...Mind you such an audience are very few in number, almost all prefer a live telecast.
To summarize, most of you have told me everything about yourselves, not that I remember everything.. but on an average.. yes I do.

             But there is an inbuilt problem with such kind of interaction. You all kind of start taking me for granted. This "taking me for granted" would have been cool if I was a genetically engineered stoic Artificial Intelligence.  Though I tried to be so, and for a larger part, I am so.

            Statistically speaking, ( I can, due to the large number of Xs and Ys ) if one analyses the time of the month when you all text me " I miss you "..or " I wanna talk to you ".. etc etc as in .. the time of the month when you want to interact with me.. approximately matches the " your time of the month ".. 
How do I know it? Coz you all told me that too!
So however you tag the relationship between me and you, I am merely your emotional tampon. In other words, just friends. Though it definitely doesn't start like that, or may be it does.. and I was too naive back then to notice.
               
             But given that I am not a robot, I would too have an emotional feedback.
As in a response to your blabber. And such a response is very high when there is a mention of  " that other guy ". This is common with the Xs and Ys with loads of baggage of relationships from the past. Or sometimes even the current ones, you know "crush" types. And having a crush on an actor is not equivalent to having a crush on the guy next door. Even a blunt statement like " I like him " can trigger an immense emotional feedback from my limbic system, something I always suppressed/controlled. Not anymore, or atleast I do not want to anymore...Any such abrupt emotional feedback from my side, may end up in me being stupid, which for a major part I am, atleast when it comes to relationships.

              Anyhow, thank you for providing me with such a learning opportunity.

I was and always will be ...
                                                                                            Xperimentally Yours


Friday, October 29, 2010

Rhyme Time



Walking on the dark dark street..
With her and my pedal driven wheel was a divine treat..

Talking, arguing, contemplating  ..
Me , her and my pedal driven wheel silently rotating..

I talked, with her... about the stars and the constellations..
I knew she was bored...
as she was replying with monotonic affirmations..

But,
Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..
For her..
in the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..

He came soaring from the rear..
the engines of his car making a noise..
which even the darkest of the darkness couldn't bear..
He halted his guzzler parallel to my pedal powered steer..
And opened the door, opened it for her..
Showing off his higher tier..

She smiled, smiled for his authoritative gesture..
I for one remained there with my pedal powered creature..
watching her glide , glide in his white machine..
What I felt?, loads of feelings together..like a mixture.

But,
Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..
in the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..

The door closed with a resounding thud..
My brain said.." Dood you just got pwned by a stud!"
He drove away with a roaring sound ..
Like a really.. really hungry hound..

Almost involuntarily ..
I mounted the pedal powered wheels,
I rode like never before, just for her
I knew would be easily outdone..
By his guzzler..
Only for her, coz she was the one.

My already few muscles.. ached,
Thinking about her with him made my mind to quake..
The wheels were made to turn
I could feel my calories burn..
The speed increased .. with every recoil
of each of my muscles..
Just the thoughts of him with her.. made my blood boil.. 
But however hard I tried
I couldnt beat his polluting guzzler .. powered by the Arabs oil.


Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..
In the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..    





Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mediators

Wiki definition: A "neutral" party who assists in negotiations and conflict resolution, the process being known as mediation.
 
 But am considering the ones who knowingly or unknowingly relay information back and forth between two people (Given that those two people do not have a direct channel of communication established between them, for whatever reasons)

Also considering this on a broader scale, every medium is a mediator.
The air around you is a medium when you talk to someone else, it is acts a mediator of highest possible fidelity.
As in whatever data that comes out of your stinky mouth, gets delivered to the other person without any tampering (Atleast the content is not tampered, the volume(intensity), clarity of the sound may be tampered but not the message itself.) Here am considering non windy, no-background noise environment, consisting of standard molecular ratio of the gases in the atmosphere.


So I can represent the one way relay as:
[You] ------> [Mediator Y] ------> [Person X]

When the Mediator Y is air,
[You] ---1---> [AIR] ---2---> [Person X]

Where 1= content uttered by you, and 2 = content received by the person x.
For AIR, 1=2

For Windy/noisy air,( and if the distance is large between person x and you) the case may be different..

[You] ---1= I don't love you---> [Windy AIR] ---2=I do love you---> [Person X]

 "I don't love you" May become..  "I do love you.."

What if the medium that connects your vocal cords (vocal folds), goes awry and does not remain faithful to the things your mind wants to say? As in you say something , while your mind had thought of saying something completely different.


Example:  A girl passes by you.. your brain thinks " Wow!! Bow to thee Goddess!"
(Yea... its an hypothetical situation.. just assume.)
But your vocal cords go : " I wanna hump you all night long!"

What fhaked up state the world would be in..

If inanimate mediums/mediators can be so crappy, how much trust can one put in the "human" mediator.

I personally dislike all kinds of mediators, and it takes a finite time to train the vocal cords to behave the way you want.. its a hard thing to do... and lack of fluency in the  "English" language as the language for the mediating purpose may screw things up.

Then there is cloud mediating, you say a lot of blabber to almost everyone around you , and it becomes awfully distorted till it reaches me.
Also its interesting to see that, the mediators that do not forward the received data at all tend to minimize the damage (Example: Mediator F)
Cloud Mediation (The arrows can point either way)

You to all the mediators: I dont know what he is thinking, I wish we get back together, or atleast talk about what went wrong, resolve it out. He did stop talking with me .. I am hurt

Mediator A to Mediator B: I think he fought with her, things arent well between the two, she says he stopped talking to her for no reason.. He hurt her. She wants it resolved but he does not.
  
Mediator B to Me: She blames you for ending this relationship, and holds you responsible for hurting her, you should resolve it, or go eat poop, with pee chatni.And go rape your neighbors doggie.


Mediator C to Mediator E: They no more talk with each . I think it was her..
she prolly does that to all guys .. its good that its over..

Mediator E to Me: Dude, wtf happened? I think its her fault..

(Mediator G; an opportunistic.. is looking for a girlfriend desperately, and is thinking " Hmm now that she is all vulnerable, I should go for her and take this opportunity")
Mediator G to me: She says you did something that hurt her. and all that.. and you know.. whatever.. why did you stop talking to her? You say it is difficult to forget her.. but you must try... you should move on...

Mediator F: Eh? _|_  I dont care.


So technically am not using term "mediator"  as per the standard definition,
This all mediation nonsense reminds me of the game I used to play with other kids in the childhood.. it was called " Telephone Telephone" , where we sit in a circle, and one of the kid whispers something in the neighboring kids ear and that kid whispers it in the next kids ears and so on.. till it reaches the kid sitting besides the kid who started the whispering. And the last kid is asked to say the sentence aloud.
The longer the message, the fhaked up it gets till it comes back .. or till some arsesh!t kid somewhere in between messes it up on purpose.

                                       Kid1 ----  Kid2
                                          |           |          
                                   Evil Kid 3-- Kid 4

Kid 1 to Evil Kid 3: flowers smells great.
Evil Kid 3 to Kid 4: Your fart smells great       
Kid 4 to Kid 2: your fart is great.
Kid 2 ( says it aloud): you fart great.    

Even though Kid 1 and Kid 2 are so close together, involving mediators separates them more and more.


Next time if you consider involving mediators, take into consideration the following parameters: 1. Their ulterior motives; 2. Their command on the language they will be using to mediate; 3.Their tendentious nature; 4.Their existence of being a mediator.

But then, I think.. if you really need mediators to solve problems existing in your relationship -- whatever kind that may be.. that relationship between you two was just a delusion, it never existed and there is no point in re initiating it or resolving the problems in it ...for the best of you both...

I learned my lesson.. you should too.

If you actually read all the crap I posted above..well .. get a life  :p


Sunday, September 26, 2010

Jai ambay gaaauvreeee !!!

Got my 9 year old bicycle repaired ( For the 192749872385476837658th time in this year ).
I call her Black B!tch, not because I am a racist or anything, or fantasize black chicks... Just cause I ( my dad actually) got it colored black.
If I hadnt did that.. I would have to call her brown B!tch... the color of RUST! (not because she is Indian, nor do I address Indian girls like that.. even though they behave like that sometimes )
Why b!tch?.. coz she is B!tchy...Eats almost all of the money that I leech from my parents on her maintenance.
Her nick name changes every day, its situation dependent ...
When something goes wrong.. she is the Black slut.
When I dodge the dense traffic  by taking her over the sidewalk.. over the divider.. between the vehicles...and move ahead of those traffic trapped high end motorbikes with guys carrying high end chicks on the pillion...without anything going wrong with the chain or tires or the brakes..., she is my black beauty! 


That cycle repair shop got her so well repaired, that she became spanking new!
Gears fell in place.. The chain didnt fail....brakes were screeching awesomely.. Making a sound heard at a distant.. One accident type attention getting sound...
I got so excited that I challenged the dogs in my locality .. those arsediks always run behind my cycle with their big ass teeth wanting to bite a piece off me...
I trusted my black beauty today.. and went full speed on them...that scared the sh!t outta them.. and one of the dog tried to bark but ended up coughing :/
I went close to him.. and abused the dog...( verbally O_o )
I plan to do something similar tonite too..

My mom is giving me weird ass syrups..regionally called " kadha", Its made of the weirdest sh!t possible..some super unknown plants and spices. .. to cure my cough..( i should prolly give that dog this crap too )
Adulsa: One of the ingredient of the dreaded syrup

There is some super "pooja/Havan"(is the term for a sacred purifying ritual (yajna) in Hinduism ) going on at my home.. with multiple muscular dudes lighting bonfires in my living room, shouting codewords in sanskrit  to praise the almighty. Given the decibel levels of their shouts.. I am wondering if the almighty is deaf. I am not supposed to participate in this actively.. Coz that would mean me extinguishing that fire with a fire extinguisher. So am only allowed in "when needed".


Plus.. Can virtual events, have real effects?

 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Replaceable assets


If an object feels like a rose, smells like a rose, looks like a rose and has all other parameters that defines a rose.. Is that object a rose?
(I was going to say "woman" instead of "rose", but given the astounding number of poetries written about their analogies, it doesnt really matter..atleast not in non scientific terms)

The development in Science and Technology has given us the capacity  to make such "objects" (& many more like vibrators,viagra pills, contraception pills.. but thats another story). May seem like complete sci-fi, but sending stuff in space or watching someone getting naked in Texas,US back in India was classified as sci-fi too few decades back.. So who knows..

Anyhow, 
So my point being, are we replaceable?
Lets not go into the scientific mumbo jumbo, but don't most of us replace stuff around us? Including appliances, pets and people ?



The existence of the terms like ex-bfs,ex-gfs, ex-wife,ex-husband,stepmother,step father etc.. have arose out of the system as someone somewhere got replaced.
Oh and I didn't mention "friends", there is nothing like "ex-friend" though.. I wonder why.But the replacement scene does seem to prevail there too.
So if there exists something like ex-bfs and exgfs and et al , does it mean "love" (whatever that term may mean, but is associated with such relationships) replaceable?
Has mankind reached a point in the timeline where human being can be treated as an appliance?
Is it that the people who are being replaced or is it their "brain states"?
And what calls for replacements?
"You arent the same anymore"," You have changed" etc etc... So what parameters one seeks for while uttering these words? 

Glossary
Brainstate is something a given person will be in at a certain instant of time.
That person will have all the characteristics pertaining to that brainstate.
A same person can attribute multiple brainstates at different instances of time, but no two or more brainstates at the same time. One may say " I hate you", but may be liking you , which actually is the current brainstate, the " I hate you" part was just a lie.

 Brainstate, according to me, can be attributed to neural networks. Not neurons, but their network, like an internet.. Some thing which is synonymous with "consciousness".Its said that, neurons can be thought as water molecules.A single H2O molecule doesnt make water, its only when there are multiple of them.. only then its water.

If this was weed, I would be so high right now
I remember people in terms of their brainstates, its easier for me, given that people tend to change.A person whom I found interesting 1 month back may be a SOB/DOB today.. Its better to think those two entities as different people. May increase the effort to keep track of virtually created people, but I can deal with that.




Anyhow, If you have skipped whole of the above blogpost , good work.
It was written in a state of complete misery ,fhaaked up throat and sleep.
You did the right thing.
Now just before you leave... think about this:
The person, you look at in the mirror..is it really you?

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Don't wanna say No. But wanna say Now!

Am as usual ranting about the amount of work to be done before the upcoming exams, and virtually nothing gets done (virtual work?) 
Its so much of it that when one goes around to just check out the syllabus  with a full enthoo (enthusiasm, Bombay area students lingo) , one hour passes and you are still going thru the syllabus.. and at the end of that one hour.. you loose all the enthoo to study.. and then end up doing everything apart from studies for next 18 hours ..and go to bed ranting about it on the blog and to oneself.. hmpf..


The following pics give a  "jhalak" ( glimpse ) of how
few of those 18 hours were spent by me...

My personal Heat Engine at 2AM, (H)Eat = Work








My Ammunition for the ongoing assault,
Codename: Operation Mind Fhaakh


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Chandni Raatein & the return of the dot me-s..

External entity: .. (blabber blabber..) a girl named chandni will be assigned for this project with you...( blabber blabber).. she is new to this.. ( some more blabber)


Me: huh? wait what? who? whaa?

External entity : hello? Will see you  tomorrow at the meeting. *bangs the phone*


Me: Dude, hello?  * wtf mode begins * 


Feminine.Me: * sings * Chaandnii raatein.. hai hai chaandni raatein...
Me: shut up.. :/
Pervy.Me: Did anyone hear the term "chaandni" echoing around the whole fhaakin mind , or was it just me?


Me, feminine.Me, Logic.Me,optimistic.Me, and all other .Me-s: Just you..
Pervy.Me: O_o  oookay.. * goes back to sleep*


Feminine.Me: Phew.., So you have a date tomorrow eh? 
Me: whaaa!? NO!
Feminine.Me: * sings * chaandni raatein.. haaai.. ye pehli mulakaatein...
pervy.me: See!! I hear that echo again!
feminine.me: you have been masturbating too much, bible says it screws up your mind..prolly thats why you are hearing echoes...
Pervy.me: :S .. you are catholic? :/
Feminine.Me: I can be anything that disgusts you. Its called being Tit for Tat.


Me: I should get back to studies..
Me: Thermodynamics!!! New book!! cool print out isnt it.. its still warm...
Logic.me: it shud be, its about heat :p
Pervy.me: warm like ... a.. like a...
Feminine.me: we dont wanna know..
Me: So ideal gas approximation can be used when the real gases are highly dilute?
Logic.Me: yea..Its logical.. :/
Feminine.me: * sings * Chaaandni raaatein... haai.... 
Me: COME ON!!! STOP THAT!!
Feminine.Me: whaaat! :p Am just trying to sing...
Me: And am trying to friggin study! and i think thats way way way more important than anything else. so shut up!
Feminine.me: Just temme more about it, rather lets discuss for a while..
Me: No!!! 
pervy.me: YES!
stomach.me: * growls * * dizzies * dude I dont feel fine..
Feminine.me: See! thats what happens when you do not talk about it...
Me: You know what happens when we talk about a girl.. it gets fhaked up.
Pessimistic.Me: Its gonna get fhaked up with this one too, so there is no harm in talking about her anyways.No profit no loss.
pervy.Me: Should I get the tissue papers?
Pessimistic.me: Is he gonna cry?
Emotional.Me: Am I?
Pervy.Me: No.. I thought he is gonna " think " about a girl.. so you know.. 
Feminine.Me: no we dont know.. and dont wanna know..


*Temporal space: 3 hours of no studies, havent eaten properly *


Me: i cant sleep. :(
Feminine.Me: Shud i sing a lullaby?  
Me: Okay..
Feminine.Me: Chaandni raaatein.... haaaai..
Me:  :( :( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stomach.me: Dude.. please stop thinking about all the possible probabilities of what is gonna happen between you and chaandni tomorrow, it makes me feel dizzy.
Feminine.me: He is thinking about  all probabilities? Cool temme temme..
Math.Me: Thats almost infinite probabilities, and his processing unit is no better than a pentium 4 to process that many probabilities...
Logic.me: * agrees *

Feminine.me: alright temme a few of them...best of them..
Pessimistic.me: The best one will be where she ties a rakhi band on his hand..
Feminine.me:  LOL... ouch.
Me: :(
Stomach.me: go to the loo man.. quick... * growls *


* Temporal space of 6 hours, Couldnt sleep well, minor head ache *
Stomach.me: DUDE! :( 
Me: what man!!.. control.. I cant help it.. I just cant stop thinking about the probabilities!
Feminine.Me: * yawns *.. You are not in "love" with her.. if you were you would have thought about "her" and not about the probabilities.. so chill and lets discuss..
Me: No! I dont even friggin know what the fhaakh " love" is ..
Feminine.me: okay fine.. * sings * chaaandni raaaatein... hai...
Me:  :(


* Spacial space : Reaches destination: college of hottest chicks in mumbai *


Pervy.me: WHERE ARE THE FHAAKIN TISSUE PAPERS!!!! DOOOD LOOK AT THESE WOMEN!!!
Feminine.me: * yawns *
Pervy.me: This is like.. is like... heaven man!!!! Real women are so beautiful!
Feminine.me: :O you said " beautiful" , I bet the meaning of that term in your vocabulary differs from the generic meaning..
Me: What if she embarrasses me, in front of others.. or what if she is sooooo beautiful that I go.. " hello.... * faints * "
Feminine.Me: now you are talking!
Pervy.Me: dude!! fhaakh chandni. look at these chicks!!! fhirangs can kiss my ass!! Indian chicks ...so HOT?! who knew!
Me: i need to ask some one  where exactly the college and the meeting is..
Pervy.Me: Ask that chick.. one in blue.. no no wait.. red one! red one!.. ask her!!

Me: * asks *

Pervy.Me: * faints *
Feminine.Me: This is much better than him fainting after masturbating.. see what real women can do without even touching you , or you touching yourself. 
Stomach.me: I dont feel  good man.. loo!!! NOW!
Me: Hold it man... dont fart on her , I beg you...
Stomach.me: stop telling me what to do.. I am already fhaaked up...* growls *


* Spacial space: reaches the venue , No chandni..*
Me: oookaaay....
Feminine.Me: aawwwwwww
Pessimistic.me: god damn it.. i would have loved to see you get fhaaked up..
Optimistic.Me: dont worry, better luck next time mate... and Thanks @ feminine.me for playing my role throughout.
Feminine.me: you are welcome..
Me: hmmm......
Pervy.me: look at these women!
Me: shut up man.
Stomach.Me: loo now now now!


* Spacial space: reaches home: with high end migraine *
Me: since you all have fhaked up my mind.. no painkillers for you.. feel the pain.
All.me-s: :(
Stomach.me: I wanna puke.. 


* 12 hours of migraine kills the " chaandni raatein" like it did for all other "      raateins" *



Sunday, August 08, 2010

Nationalism, Patriotism, Darwinism, Sexism, Jism & all other ism.

    In my zero point zero zero zero one percent "blog writing" state these days ,I think this blog will be subjected to even more crap than it has ever before.
That is like bush administration being elected for the third time in a row.
Indian parliamentary proceedings, known for their jungle-ee behavior, have members who can speak better english both grammatically and logically than bush, but with an accent, a really fhaaked up accent. So when an "outsider" stereotypes indian accent, its like a "female dog" (see I didnt say the B word).. stereotyping humans about their way to have an intercourse.  Unfortunately some humans do end up doing what the female dog does.. in the same way as some indians end up doing what the "outsiders" do.
This can be put in the category of nationalism. Or can it?

Suicide bombings, killings et al, that happen in ones country are more effective in causing some , if not too much of  emotional turmoil than those bombings which occur outside your own country..
News: 5 bombs blew up in afghanistan, 10 died - among them were 4 children.
You:Who gives a fhaakh, where is my footbaal channel

News: 1 injured in a //insert any stupid reason to get injured// at // insert your neighborhoods name//.
You: Omg! is she/he okay!? lemme change my Facebook status to create awareness about //insert that stupid injury getting thing again in here>// and make a page about it to get million fans and prolly tweet about it till the end of time.

Is this "patriotism"? or provincial-ism .or just a consequence of stupid brainwashing that you and me are subjected to , by the media/parents/school since our childhood to actually believe in man-made boundaries which have no significance naturally, and categorize ourselves to be some kind of a separate species than the people living on the other side of the fence? But then brainwashing can make people to believe in invisible voyeur in the sky, so believing in man-made boundaries isnt a biggie.. 

Which brings me to Darwinism...


Predicting something in 1800's which stood the tests of molecular biology and genetics in 21st century is something to be appreciated. One cannot "believe" in something just because you find it "believable" or much easier to believe. Experimental evidence must support your "beliefs". Newtonian  theory of gravity stood the test for 200 years, after it was " corrected" or "extrapolated" , read that again. Newtonian theory of gravity WASNT REMOVED, or SAID TO BE WRONG, it is what keeps our satellites revolving.. and missions to moon and mars possible.. Similarly, the theory of evolution has stood the test for 150 years, and may be extrapolated or corrected but wont be "wrong".You like it or not... its a fact of life,experimentally supported fact.. as true and correctable as the theory of gravity or any other scientific theory for that matter. Anything which is science , is not certain, and anything which is certain is not science. Is this darwinism? maybe.. but then it can be newtonism , einsteinism and what not.


Sexism.. :/ 
Politician: Men and women are equal.
No dude, they arent. I had read this statement somewhere that ..If all presidents/prime ministers of the world were replaced to be women, there would be a war every 28 days on an average, somewhere in the world.
They say " I like you " on 1st of april, " Fhaakh off" on 28th april, .. " I miss you" on 25th May and " get lost " on 23rd June.
This happens between India and pakistan, and our president is a woman.
I would call it as PMS-ism than sexism. If I make it big, am gonna invent a PMS-o-meter.
It would help me to decide what a  girl says should be processed by my heart or by my mind.

Jism.. I dont know what it is... saw it in an american pie movie..
Anyhow..am gonna go out and hang out with my wang out...
Over n out.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Effortless efforts

Scalar product of force and displacement is work.
If these two entities decide to be like an 'about to break up' couple, the 'theta' is 90 degrees and no work is done. 
But time and energy are wasted. Yep, energy can be wasted without any 'useful' work done ;).
But then it depends what success means to you, whats its measure,
is it having fun & getting pleasure 
or hasting for more and more treasure.
ooo I rhymed! 





Such an act of wastefulness was performed by me today..
I was 'fixing' this blog for almost about 12 to 13 hours straight.
You know that you have worked hard when, your right hand wrist  hurts and there is no latest logged record of you masturbating.


Was it worth it? I don't know... I played with HTML,XML, Javascript and CSS  instead of myself for 13 hours.


Why the fix? Because I have started listening to others for a change.


Also, there seems to be a general agreement amongst different well isolated individuals about my mental state. All seem to have unanimously but unknown to each other have agreed that there is something wrong with me...


P.S, the silk dick experiment was a success.So no suicide.This blogs half life has increased & so has mine.Sorry for the  disappointment @ my "well-wishers".

Monday, July 19, 2010

Let your heart beats sync to those from your sound system...


Music & Science ofcourse..but given that I dont loose my hearing and/or fhaakh up my mind in the meantime..
Myriad of reasons (which I don't know) that  can get one into a fhaaked up mind (FUM) state...
But if that happens, then I guess there is really no point in livin.. aint it?
Well I did entered the "fhaaked up mind" state quite often than I thought..the "cause" still unknown but never the less...here are the consequences of having  few short bursts of  FUM state..


A while back..I consciously caught my unconscious mind killing  ants in the loo while pee-ing.. umm.. as in shooting'em down with my wee-wee using pee pee as ammunition....
The start-stop technique mentioned in kamasutra is what I was using ....
Fire!!! .. Pee-ew Pee-ew Pee-ew....
They were red ants.. invading my baap's property.. so theres nothing much PETA can do about it.. given that ants are considered animals (?).. or are they?.. :/

Another act of my mind in the FUM state was ... going live on a  chat site.. where you are randomly set up by that chat server to chat with anyone online on that server...using your webcam..
While there was quite a large percentage of american population online on that site.. most of them were guys and they were all..well almost all.. (the remaining few ..were about to start) masturbating... :/ other displaying their million packs on their abs.... biceps etc etc, some with combo of both...
I placed my copy of " On the origin of species" in front of the cam..particularly to scare off, or rather de-h0rnify those masturbate-ers  But there was an unexpected side effect... guess what! many  chicks
( I mean really hawt chicks! ) actually stopped .. for a chat!... and sometimes a bit more .. *wink* *wink*
So I guess .. 6 pack abs still has a long way to go to score over Charles Darwin..eh ;)


OMG!Look!A Flying Spaghetti Monster!                                                            

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Deep Fear - Sidekick


Bass. I wonder why is it pronounced as 'base' rather than baaaas.. but then its English.

So Bass i.e low wavelength hath the prowess
To get your bowels to move, your body to groove ;
Prolly make you do something without you having any clue..

Listen to this track, only if you have a good set of speakers, no that doesn't necessarily mean bose or seinheisser or however its spelled. It just means that your speakers shouldn't make a moan sound like a fart or vice versa...

Not studying for 3 days gives me a guilty feeling, I guess its a good thing..But then after watching a Nat Geo Documentary on Lysergic acid diethylamide, gives me a feeling, like I have consumed it.
They said it was potent, yea.. I got high just by watching that documentary..

I mean I would love to administer that drug, lock myself in a room with a video camera and monitor my behavior, prolly write a blog entry during that psychedelic trip! Even solve all the math problems in its influence.

2 days of fever has rendered me feel like a 90 year old (still fully functional for an intercourse though), with a colon break down..I guess the excitement/sexcitement during the excited E2 state is taking its toll on me.

I wonder if I take LSD during this colon dysfunctional era.. will it make my colon function like a gun barrel? Guess what part would function as a trigger ? ;) 

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Mein Herz Brennt

wist and turn und es werden burn...

(Note: Kindly dont solve the problem in the figure above, no matter however
jobless you are... ummm.. Okay.. if you have reached the jobless-ness par with my level, the answer is 0.54 N-m)



I thought I was stoic..
I guess am not.. 
I should try harder...
Or else.. 
Mein herz werden brennt... 
(Till then an antacid would suffice..) 
                                                          
Also I find myself  listening to my answering machines female voice over and over again... 
Weirdly it has a some kind of so called "feel good" factor associated with it...
But alas she is being replaced by a george bush style male answerer... "Attack iraq! God asked me to!" Fhaakh.                                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                                    

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Equation of Life?



In my hyper sleep deprived state am talking philosophical nonsense again... 
Parental advisory: Do not read.
General readers advisory: Okay I may have compelled you to read my blog.. but that doesnt mean you have to... It was the initial  " childs new toy" effect...its like.. 
Me: I got something new.. lemme show it to you!
You: -_- Great! * sighs *

So anyhow...
Many events/instances get you musing...running your usually idle processor at maximum.. about some future most probable stuff that may happen if you do this or that now...
if x = 2 when t = today.. what will it be x = ?  when t = 1 year... And you dont even know the equation!  All guessing games? " May be" " could be" " mostly" " might be" " i think so" " it may"... Who knows!!! who cares!!?
Whats the best possible thing to do?... wait for more data?.. more variables? form the equation with as many variables as one can gather? probably...you "may" end up with better results than just hopping in with none.. 
but there is a tradeoff... the "t" doesnt remain t = 0 as one waits... it changes.. and so does all the variables which almost always depend on "t" that one has gathered in that waiting interval.
pretty fhaaked up situation.What am I gonna do? am going with the tradeoff.. let the fhaakin "t" change...So will I...As i have always said.. " The only constant in this universe is Change.."
What got me think about this bullcrap? Oh I always mention my source.. This song (dont ask why, coz I dont know why):


I guess I should sleep.... fhaakh exams ... sh!t....