Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Equation of Life?

In my hyper sleep deprived state am talking philosophical nonsense again... 
Parental advisory: Do not read.
General readers advisory: Okay I may have compelled you to read my blog.. but that doesnt mean you have to... It was the initial  " childs new toy" effect...its like.. 
Me: I got something new.. lemme show it to you!
You: -_- Great! * sighs *

So anyhow...
Many events/instances get you musing...running your usually idle processor at maximum.. about some future most probable stuff that may happen if you do this or that now...
if x = 2 when t = today.. what will it be x = ?  when t = 1 year... And you dont even know the equation!  All guessing games? " May be" " could be" " mostly" " might be" " i think so" " it may"... Who knows!!! who cares!!?
Whats the best possible thing to do?... wait for more data?.. more variables? form the equation with as many variables as one can gather? probably...you "may" end up with better results than just hopping in with none.. 
but there is a tradeoff... the "t" doesnt remain t = 0 as one waits... it changes.. and so does all the variables which almost always depend on "t" that one has gathered in that waiting interval.
pretty fhaaked up situation.What am I gonna do? am going with the tradeoff.. let the fhaakin "t" change...So will I...As i have always said.. " The only constant in this universe is Change.."
What got me think about this bullcrap? Oh I always mention my source.. This song (dont ask why, coz I dont know why):

I guess I should sleep.... fhaakh exams ... sh!t....

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Me & Myself

Event: Board Exams.
Time 1030 Hrs IST onwards.
Characters : Myself, Perverted.Me, Optimistic.Me,Pessimistic.Me, Math.Me, Logic.Me, Feminine.Me, and special appearances by other ".Me-s..."

* I enter the exam "hall" .. a bit early .. mummy ne bola early jane ko .. So there .. I take my seat.. have a self condescending talks with few other classmates about how am I gonna end up etc etc and  starts reading ( coz everyone else was) some stupid xerox that I brought with me.. *

Perverted.Me: *yawns*...Why are we awake and reading sh!t this early? 
Me: huh?
Perverted.Me: Dont you "huh" me, why are we here?
Optimistic.Me : Exams dood Exams...
Perverted.Me: The entrance sh!t? where he always fails?
Pessimistic.Me: Nah, the ones where you can " eat one night before and sh!t the same in the exam"..
Perverted.Me: Eat and sh!t exams! So am guessing.. board exams?
Pessimistic.Me: Yea, he is gonna fail this one too...
Optimistic.Me: No he isnt.. Also perverted.me  you shud pay attention to his more normal life than making him watch jailbaitgallery all the time...

Perverted.Me: Dont teach me what to do.. If he had a GF and had kissed atleast one girl in his 23 years on this planet, I wouldnt even have to exist.. I relieve him from the stress you mothaafhaakas make him go thru.. "exams exams exams exams" Fhaakh you...

Pessimistic.Me: Exams or women or life.. he is a gonna fail..at everything... he shud commit suicide and stop wasting resources.

Optimistic.Me: What is your problem? Why cant you be a little more... you know... umm...
Pessimistic.Me: Optimistic?  O_o
Optimistic.Me: Yeah That..
Pessimistic.Me: Look at my prefix.

* The answer sheets and question papers are distributed *

Perverted.Me: Dood .. look at the supervisor.. B00balastic!
Logic.Me: She is married..
Perverted.Me: Her b00ballas arent...
Logic.me: There is really no point arguing with you..
Perverted.me: then dont...

* reads the question paper *

Logic.me: Question 8 a,b  9b and 12 a,b look pretty easy ...
Optimistic.me: See you can pass this exams!
Pessimistic.me: no he wouldnt.. he will make tons of mistakes ...
Perverted.me: looking for chicks in an exam hall filled with students of physics that too a masters course is like looking for mother teresa in Osama's territory.

Math.me: The math part looks doable...
Me: will you all just shut up and let me friggin write ?
Perverted.me: No.
Optimistic.me: no..
Pessimistic.me: no
Me: :(
feminine.me: no... 
Perverted.me: Look who is here!!.. hey sexy!
Feminine.me: go say that to your momma..
Logic.me: There is really no point abusing each other, atleast not on the basis of common factors..Thats like a mother calling her son, SOB.

Me: whats sinAsinB ?
Perverted.me: b00bsdik+dikb00bs+poosaay...
feminine.me: get a life asshole..
math.me:  sin(A+b) plus cos(A-B).. or is it sin A- B and cos...wait..
Me: Wtf!
Math.me: dont wtf me... if you had spent more time reading trigonometry rather than ogling polish chicks .. this wouldnt have happened..

perverted.me: jailbait, polish chicks, ogling.. i know who you are pointing at ... sucker...the only sexy thing about trigonometry is that it has the term "sec C" .. you prolly masturbate to that @ math.me

logic.me: and you masturbate to 2D pictures.
Me: helloooo!! sinx is odd right? so bn-s will be zero? or an-s? fhaakh!
math.me: I dont know.. and i dont care..
Me: :S
math.me: ask perverted.me.
Perverted.me: I can lie tangent to the supervisors curves... 
Me: logic.me .. can you be a less ego centric and find it out.
logic.me: for odd function.. bn's are zero
Me: thanks.. * solves *
Feminine.me: this is crap.. so who were you dreaming about last night...
perverted.me: me?..i was..
Feminine.me: save it for infinite amount of time,.. i wasnt asking you...
Me: Huh?
Feminine.me: so who was she?
Me: she who? The Dhokla girl?
Feminine.me: Not her... I mean her too.. but you know whom am talking about..
Me: who her? Oh HER??
Feminine.me: * wink wink * you know she likes you...
Me: how the heck did you know?
Feminine.me: Telepathic gossip, i chatted with feminine.her
perverted.me: dhokla girl? HER? Wtf... who are these chicks.. why the fhaakh do i not know about them! Traitors!
feminine.me: coz he doesnt want you to imagine them in brassier and panties..
perverted.me: oooo kinky!.. 
Math.me: Err.. why the fhaakin fhaakh are we discussing this in the middle of a fhaakin exam!?
Me: coz you quit on me...
math.me: okay.. derive sin a+b using exponentials and i guess you can get the formula..
logic.me: you guess eh? 
Me: okay..I did that and am getting the whole fourier series as zero.. :S
math.me: solve something else...
perverted.me: lets solve the question about how to remove a brassier in under 5 seconds from outside of a dress..
feminine.me: ughh!!

* ten minutes warning bell rings *

Pessimistic.me: Thats the end of you.
Me:  :( :( whats the Lapalace transformation of 1 over s+1..
perverted.me: keep your eyes on the supervisor when she collects your answer sheet.. strike a conversation.. so i can make some rough mental figures of her..

math.me: exp(-t)
math.me: ???????
Me: nvm...

* final bell *
Perverted.me: there she comes there she comes....Dood look up look up!!!
Me: and for 1 over s+1 the whole squared?
Me: Math.me?
* Math.me is away from keyboard*
Me: :( :(

* the end *

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Something's Wrong...

I dont know what is, but there is surely something wrong. And its not even about my exams!
I find myself in weird states ... I find myself looking at stuff ( not THAT stuff ), rocking to and fro, rocking sideways unconsciously...like an autistic kid... and then wondering wtf am I doing...
I hate my scanner
The amount of music I have been listening to has decreased over a couple of days...
And look at this! am actually whining !... So freakin Gay!...
Prolly I shud just tune into 54house.fm and fhaakh some math or the other way round.


Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Orthogonality of the 2 worlds.

 Okay, so as many people know, am a guy with stereotypical Indian behavior/features.
Am cheap, I stink, I have that "buh-D" accent, I have enuff hair on me to put the werewolves to shame. Apart from that I have my own characteristic behaviors/features which do no better than just worsen the above mentioned stereotypes.
Critical environmental conditions got me to pick up even more characteristics which did no better either. From talking to another person, be it a relative/cousin or a stranger to talking to female entity took a lot of ladder climbing... and unfortunately am still hanging somewhere in between. I mean, I had to read books/articles , watch documentaries, listen to audio books on psychology, human behavior, social behavior.. etc etc for about 6 months just to initiate a conversation with a female entity. And by conversation .. I mean a conversation that didnt make her puke or grossed her out.
Anyhow.. I sought to try out this 6 months of stupidity in the real world. Till now.. I haven't got mauled, so am not hopping off the ladder yet..
Somehow in this trial and error tests, I happen to meet lots and lots of people with different backgrounds.. most conversations with them did have the typical awkward moments...

person1: hey
me: hey, how are you.
person1: am fine thanks.
me: hmmm...
( we both look at each other.. then at everyone else but each other..and if by mistake the line of sight intersects directly.. an awkward smile...)

(person 2 may be a classmate/friend lost in time)
me: *pokes/ pats on the back*
person2: hey!
me: do you recognise me?
person2: Ofcourse!.. you are.....
me: (-_-)

Its really not helpful to go completely disconnected with the school friends..or childhood friends..during their puberty to adolescent transition state... I mean if you know them till like 7th grade..and then you get disconnected... dont even think about showing up 5-6 years later..The mind cant take such a huge change suddenly, especially a change in their physic.
thats especially true for the girl folks (ofcourse!).. they cease to exist as the cute lil sister like personalities anymore...I mean its like.. if you have met her in 7th grade.. you would be more like.. " hey whats the homework.. will you do this part of my home work?.. alright cool.. bye" ... you dont even care to look her in the eyes or anywhere else for that matter :/ .....
And if you see her like after 7-8 years.. " hey!oooooo .." Your Mind stalls... and it pokes you and says: Dood look look !!, real b00bies! non pixel-ed b00bies!
You cant help it... but you can control it.. but the thoughts do occur. So you fight with your pervy mind and try to invoke the 7th grade mind state and try to fool the brain that its her! your homework do-er, your tiffin provider.. your school time care taker...etc etc... and it does no good. Between the war of these orthogonal worlds.. you end up talking with her in gibberish.. also defined as " immature" " childish" words...
And after the encounter is over.. I am like .. FHAAAKH!!! What the fhaakh just happened!...
Am so never ever meeting anyone....

Still observing the two worlds...
How orthogonal they are?...
Well, you take a person from each worlds to a restaurant on two different days respectively..
The orders arrive.. we start munching .. I eat something different, that person eats something different.

World 1:
Me: So hows it?
Person1: Nice, bit spicy.. but nice.. hows yours..
Me: yea .. its good ....

World 2:
Me: So hows it?
Person2: 10 Bucks.
Me: I mean..
Person2: you can fulfil your hunger though.
Me: nvm.

World1 x World2 = 0

I find myself at home in world 2.

Friday, April 02, 2010

20 days of ....

Sleep. An important part of the daily human biological cycle.
I have been tactically ignoring it.
Reason : I really do not know.. it can be multiple reasons.. like
Reason 1 : 20 days till exams..
Reason 2 : Possibility of being made an april fool in the department of "feelings" ( Doesnt really matter though coz I dont really understand that department.. So I have under funded it .. it will cease to exist soon )
Example :
someone: I hate you.. > This part may be different < me: umm... OK? someone : April fool!!! > This part may be unsaid < ...... or a superposition of both, R = R1 + R2. 

Traveling by Bombay local trains in almost 100% sleeping state during the rush hour can make the co-passengers feel that I may be gay. But sleep or no sleep the gay massage is inevitable. The important thing is to avoid keeping hands below the head level. Only pocket pickers and gay guys would do that... or gay pocket pickers. Coz any moment you move your hands you probably end up inside someones shirt...the matter could get even worse if you end up holding your mobile in your hand which is at a lower level than your waist... And you are prompted to text someone urgently and you are in the situation where you are looking down at your hand and the cellfone is horizontally parallel, but perpendicular to your body plane and is touching some other guys butt. And due to the continuous movement of the crowd and the train.. giving an impression of the cellfone being poked into his butt... So he looks back and winks.. And I Sh!t in my pants. 

My parents have technically given up on asking me to study.. which is good but i want them to poke me to study.... coz during school days.. My dad used to be like.. '20 days remaining?! This is the time when even the failures and all the thugs have started studying.' Or .. 'few days left.. no ones gonna ask you to study after that ever...' .. Liar! But my mom differred orthogonally on that, she used to be like..' Okay exams over.. start writing multiplication tables everyday.' She could hit me with almost anything to get me studying... rocks, chappals, spatula anything handy enuff to be a makeshift projectile.If nothing worked.. then it would be emotional aatyachar. Like while playing soccer.. my team mates used to be like .. 'whoa dude whose team is that guy in and he is running pretty fast and dressed pretty weird'.. it would turn out to be my mom.. running towards me at throttle speed every player getting outta her way... And I would run away as fast as possible...or the fact of getting crushed by her was almost certain..

Okay am hungry..