Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Me & Myself


Event: Board Exams.
Time 1030 Hrs IST onwards.
Characters : Myself, Perverted.Me, Optimistic.Me,Pessimistic.Me, Math.Me, Logic.Me, Feminine.Me, and special appearances by other ".Me-s..."

* I enter the exam "hall" .. a bit early .. mummy ne bola early jane ko .. So there .. I take my seat.. have a self condescending talks with few other classmates about how am I gonna end up etc etc and  starts reading ( coz everyone else was) some stupid xerox that I brought with me.. *

Perverted.Me: *yawns*...Why are we awake and reading sh!t this early? 
Me: huh?
Perverted.Me: Dont you "huh" me, why are we here?
Optimistic.Me : Exams dood Exams...
Perverted.Me: The entrance sh!t? where he always fails?
Pessimistic.Me: Nah, the ones where you can " eat one night before and sh!t the same in the exam"..
Perverted.Me: Eat and sh!t exams! So am guessing.. board exams?
Pessimistic.Me: Yea, he is gonna fail this one too...
Optimistic.Me: No he isnt.. Also perverted.me  you shud pay attention to his more normal life than making him watch jailbaitgallery all the time...

Perverted.Me: Dont teach me what to do.. If he had a GF and had kissed atleast one girl in his 23 years on this planet, I wouldnt even have to exist.. I relieve him from the stress you mothaafhaakas make him go thru.. "exams exams exams exams" Fhaakh you...

Pessimistic.Me: Exams or women or life.. he is a gonna fail..at everything... he shud commit suicide and stop wasting resources.

Optimistic.Me: What is your problem? Why cant you be a little more... you know... umm...
Pessimistic.Me: Optimistic?  O_o
Optimistic.Me: Yeah That..
Pessimistic.Me: Look at my prefix.

* The answer sheets and question papers are distributed *

Perverted.Me: Dood .. look at the supervisor.. B00balastic!
Logic.Me: She is married..
Perverted.Me: Her b00ballas arent...
Logic.me: There is really no point arguing with you..
Perverted.me: then dont...

* reads the question paper *

Logic.me: Question 8 a,b  9b and 12 a,b look pretty easy ...
Optimistic.me: See you can pass this exams!
Pessimistic.me: no he wouldnt.. he will make tons of mistakes ...
Perverted.me: looking for chicks in an exam hall filled with students of physics that too a masters course is like looking for mother teresa in Osama's territory.

Math.me: The math part looks doable...
Me: will you all just shut up and let me friggin write ?
Perverted.me: No.
Optimistic.me: no..
Pessimistic.me: no
Me: :(
feminine.me: no... 
Perverted.me: Look who is here!!.. hey sexy!
Feminine.me: go say that to your momma..
Logic.me: There is really no point abusing each other, atleast not on the basis of common factors..Thats like a mother calling her son, SOB.

Me: whats sinAsinB ?
Perverted.me: b00bsdik+dikb00bs+poosaay...
feminine.me: get a life asshole..
math.me:  sin(A+b) plus cos(A-B).. or is it sin A- B and cos...wait..
Me: Wtf!
Math.me: dont wtf me... if you had spent more time reading trigonometry rather than ogling polish chicks .. this wouldnt have happened..

perverted.me: jailbait, polish chicks, ogling.. i know who you are pointing at ... sucker...the only sexy thing about trigonometry is that it has the term "sec C" .. you prolly masturbate to that @ math.me

logic.me: and you masturbate to 2D pictures.
Me: helloooo!! sinx is odd right? so bn-s will be zero? or an-s? fhaakh!
math.me: I dont know.. and i dont care..
Me: :S
math.me: ask perverted.me.
Perverted.me: I can lie tangent to the supervisors curves... 
Me: logic.me .. can you be a less ego centric and find it out.
logic.me: for odd function.. bn's are zero
Me: thanks.. * solves *
Feminine.me: this is crap.. so who were you dreaming about last night...
perverted.me: me?..i was..
Feminine.me: save it for infinite amount of time,.. i wasnt asking you...
Me: Huh?
Feminine.me: so who was she?
Me: she who? The Dhokla girl?
Feminine.me: Not her... I mean her too.. but you know whom am talking about..
Me: who her? Oh HER??
Feminine.me: * wink wink * you know she likes you...
Me: how the heck did you know?
Feminine.me: Telepathic gossip, i chatted with feminine.her
perverted.me: dhokla girl? HER? Wtf... who are these chicks.. why the fhaakh do i not know about them! Traitors!
feminine.me: coz he doesnt want you to imagine them in brassier and panties..
perverted.me: oooo kinky!.. 
Math.me: Err.. why the fhaakin fhaakh are we discussing this in the middle of a fhaakin exam!?
Me: coz you quit on me...
math.me: okay.. derive sin a+b using exponentials and i guess you can get the formula..
logic.me: you guess eh? 
Me: okay..I did that and am getting the whole fourier series as zero.. :S
math.me: solve something else...
perverted.me: lets solve the question about how to remove a brassier in under 5 seconds from outside of a dress..
feminine.me: ughh!!

* ten minutes warning bell rings *

Pessimistic.me: Thats the end of you.
Me:  :( :( whats the Lapalace transformation of 1 over s+1..
perverted.me: keep your eyes on the supervisor when she collects your answer sheet.. strike a conversation.. so i can make some rough mental figures of her..

math.me: exp(-t)
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
math.me: ???????
Me: nvm...

* final bell *
Perverted.me: there she comes there she comes....Dood look up look up!!!
Me: and for 1 over s+1 the whole squared?
Me: Math.me?
* Math.me is away from keyboard*
Me: :( :(

* the end *

4 comments :

guesss who!!!!!!!!! said...

i hate to say this... i luv to read NONSENSE of urs :)

hm. that one chick. said...

Well, this was definately interesting.
I like how you argue with your five counterparts :)
is that something yo do oftenn?

mad MAD noodle said...

well that explains a lot...

Blah said...

hilarious

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