Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Me & Myself

Event: Board Exams.
Time 1030 Hrs IST onwards.
Characters : Myself, Perverted.Me, Optimistic.Me,Pessimistic.Me, Math.Me, Logic.Me, Feminine.Me, and special appearances by other ".Me-s..."

* I enter the exam "hall" .. a bit early .. mummy ne bola early jane ko .. So there .. I take my seat.. have a self condescending talks with few other classmates about how am I gonna end up etc etc and  starts reading ( coz everyone else was) some stupid xerox that I brought with me.. *

Perverted.Me: *yawns*...Why are we awake and reading sh!t this early? 
Me: huh?
Perverted.Me: Dont you "huh" me, why are we here?
Optimistic.Me : Exams dood Exams...
Perverted.Me: The entrance sh!t? where he always fails?
Pessimistic.Me: Nah, the ones where you can " eat one night before and sh!t the same in the exam"..
Perverted.Me: Eat and sh!t exams! So am guessing.. board exams?
Pessimistic.Me: Yea, he is gonna fail this one too...
Optimistic.Me: No he isnt.. Also  you shud pay attention to his more normal life than making him watch jailbaitgallery all the time...

Perverted.Me: Dont teach me what to do.. If he had a GF and had kissed atleast one girl in his 23 years on this planet, I wouldnt even have to exist.. I relieve him from the stress you mothaafhaakas make him go thru.. "exams exams exams exams" Fhaakh you...

Pessimistic.Me: Exams or women or life.. he is a gonna everything... he shud commit suicide and stop wasting resources.

Optimistic.Me: What is your problem? Why cant you be a little more... you know... umm...
Pessimistic.Me: Optimistic?  O_o
Optimistic.Me: Yeah That..
Pessimistic.Me: Look at my prefix.

* The answer sheets and question papers are distributed *

Perverted.Me: Dood .. look at the supervisor.. B00balastic!
Logic.Me: She is married..
Perverted.Me: Her b00ballas arent... There is really no point arguing with you.. then dont...

* reads the question paper * Question 8 a,b  9b and 12 a,b look pretty easy ... See you can pass this exams! no he wouldnt.. he will make tons of mistakes ... looking for chicks in an exam hall filled with students of physics that too a masters course is like looking for mother teresa in Osama's territory. The math part looks doable...
Me: will you all just shut up and let me friggin write ? No. no.. no
Me: :( no... Look who is here!!.. hey sexy! go say that to your momma.. There is really no point abusing each other, atleast not on the basis of common factors..Thats like a mother calling her son, SOB.

Me: whats sinAsinB ? b00bsdik+dikb00bs+poosaay... get a life asshole..  sin(A+b) plus cos(A-B).. or is it sin A- B and cos...wait..
Me: Wtf! dont wtf me... if you had spent more time reading trigonometry rather than ogling polish chicks .. this wouldnt have happened.. jailbait, polish chicks, ogling.. i know who you are pointing at ... sucker...the only sexy thing about trigonometry is that it has the term "sec C" .. you prolly masturbate to that @ and you masturbate to 2D pictures.
Me: helloooo!! sinx is odd right? so bn-s will be zero? or an-s? fhaakh! I dont know.. and i dont care..
Me: :S ask I can lie tangent to the supervisors curves... 
Me: .. can you be a less ego centric and find it out. for odd function.. bn's are zero
Me: thanks.. * solves * this is crap.. so who were you dreaming about last night... me?..i was.. save it for infinite amount of time,.. i wasnt asking you...
Me: Huh? so who was she?
Me: she who? The Dhokla girl? Not her... I mean her too.. but you know whom am talking about..
Me: who her? Oh HER?? * wink wink * you know she likes you...
Me: how the heck did you know? Telepathic gossip, i chatted with feminine.her dhokla girl? HER? Wtf... who are these chicks.. why the fhaakh do i not know about them! Traitors! coz he doesnt want you to imagine them in brassier and panties.. oooo kinky!.. Err.. why the fhaakin fhaakh are we discussing this in the middle of a fhaakin exam!?
Me: coz you quit on me... okay.. derive sin a+b using exponentials and i guess you can get the formula.. you guess eh? 
Me: okay..I did that and am getting the whole fourier series as zero.. :S solve something else... lets solve the question about how to remove a brassier in under 5 seconds from outside of a dress.. ughh!!

* ten minutes warning bell rings * Thats the end of you.
Me:  :( :( whats the Lapalace transformation of 1 over s+1.. keep your eyes on the supervisor when she collects your answer sheet.. strike a conversation.. so i can make some rough mental figures of her.. exp(-t)
Me: nvm...

* final bell * there she comes there she comes....Dood look up look up!!!
Me: and for 1 over s+1 the whole squared?
* is away from keyboard*
Me: :( :(

* the end *


guesss who!!!!!!!!! said...

i hate to say this... i luv to read NONSENSE of urs :)

hm. that one chick. said...

Well, this was definately interesting.
I like how you argue with your five counterparts :)
is that something yo do oftenn?

mad MAD noodle said...

well that explains a lot...

Blah said...


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