Thursday, July 07, 2011

UnHugged, UnKissed, UnFhaked.

UMD & ME


UltraMuscularDude(UMD): Yo! Whaddap! long time no see geeko freeko...

Me: Yea man... where have you been? Pumping those proteins in you?

UMD: Nah man! done with that long back, currently busy just banging chicks...
Losing money on hotels.. 3 times a week man!! *wink wink*

Me: Whoa man, I dont even masturbate with that much frequency...

UMD: You still in training? You need to go out and get some man!

Me: Unlike you,I have no muscles or money or magic..

UMD: Very tragic.. look that rhymed!

Me: =/

UMD: So you haven't got laid.. you will some day.. keep your hopes high!

Me: Forget "laid", No female entity has ever hugged or kissed me either...

UMD: You make me sad man... I will think about you when I bang this chick next time..

Me: Thanks man.. that makes me feel better.. I dunno why or how.. but it does..

UMD: So you are unhugged, unkissed and unhumped...

Me:  For 24 years.. almost quarter of a century..

UMD: You must be really ugly.

Me: Thank you for your compliments.. I am flattered

UMD:  if you have money you should fly to US or Europe and study there for a year.. and bang chicks.. beetches are easy there.. my friend did that.. he says, they like him being exotic..

Me: I am atmost erotic.. not exotic..

UMD: =/  You need to have confidence in yourself mate! Hold your act together around a chick.. they will fall for you.. look in their eyes mate!

Me: Ghanta confidence.. They need to be around me to for more than few minutes for me to actually perform my 'act' in front of them... and how do I that if that chick is in a ticket queue.. that's the location where she is constrained to spend maximum time around me.. with her bf besides her.. Uski ankho mein dekhon ki uske bf ke? ( Look in her eyes or her bf's?) Why expect it from a stranger, when the girl who knows you the most fears from shaking hands with you.. Fhakh I must be darn ugly..

UMD: I think you should go with that..  are you an untouchable?

Me: No, but I guess.. being that would be much less distractive... Anyways! So temme about the chick you were banging thrice a week, who is she?

etc.

10 comments :

Man with money said...

Lmao!Good one M8.

Rinaya said...

Erotic but not exotic...hmmmm sounds interesting :P
here (^ ^) *gives a fake virtual hug* :P

Candy said...

Me: Thank you for your compliments.. I am flattered

^^ hahahahahahhaha ROFL!! gud one :D

xyzandme said...

Thank you all for stopping by and commenting. =)

Pink Panther said...

Fhakk! :P Good one!!

Life said...

I guess I know with whom were u actually talking to :D

Life said...

OMG..No No its not him..its her...shit..forget it.. :D : D : D

Live2cherish said...

HAHAHA. Lol! Your imaginations are so vivid yet all come down to on one thing.

xyzandme said...

@PP: You are using my vocab! :p

@Life: Eh? What was your first guess?...

@Live2Cherish: " Down to one thing" .. Which is.... O_o

abcpqrs said...

like like like!
a virtual hug from me too :)

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