Friday, August 26, 2011

Intellectual Balatkari

Have you ever been patronized by someone you least expected to be patronized by? Also the patronizing isn't insulting, but hurtful. It isnt aimed at you to be insulting, there is no "mutually personal" motive, no personal feud. You are getting patronized not for the lack of knowledge, not coz you know less "English" words, not coz that other person has 'memorized' more crap than you have.. Memorizing.. which includes dumping a lot of textual content.. which may include zillions of words English words.. medical terms ..  procedures of doing something again and again.. in your memory with no sign of creativity. This isn't learning and patronizing on that basis is stupid and I am not talking about that.

Event: Nanophysics poster presentation.
Location: A large hall with two doors (read escape routes), and 7 windows.. (read suicide routes)
Subject: A Ph.D student of Physics from IIT Kharagpur. She was hot.. comparatively..
Target: Everyone, who was presenting a poster.

First blood: Poster: Fabrication of biodegradable and thermosensitive Au/Chitosan-g-PNVCL hybrid nanomaterials for radio frequency based cancer therapy.

Intellectual annihilation begins:

IB(Intellectual balatkari) i.e the Ph.D student : So have you gone from top down or bottom up approach in making these AuNPs?

Poster Guy, PG: [Checks her out.. is confused about how a hot chick(relatively) have found her way inside a Nanophysics poster presentation..is she lost!? he pinches himself twice confirming his conscious state... now checks her out again *differently*...*smiles*]
We used the bottom up approach, using green route to manufacture AuNPs..and then suspended them in form of a colloidal solution which is biodegradable..
[Feels manly, having answered more than what he was asked about..by a hot chick.. feels victorious.. feels dominant.. feels like a man]

IB:[she continues unimpressed] That is self-contradicting, given the environment is going to be the human body. Did you check for the transport phenomenon? I mean that is how you will be subjecting them in the body isnt it? The nano capsule mustn't be decomposed before it could reach the target site.


PG: [Enters a conclusive WTF mode for a while, one reason being: he didnt really listen to her.. was looking else where.. an year long project work had taken its toll on him.. deprived him of women, almost completely....he is looking at her in wrong ways and at the places he shouldn't be looking at.. his subconscious gathers bits and pieces of what she just said ...and he tries to reply.. but she doesn't allow him.. she continues..]

IB: I mean you are making it thermosensitive and activating the system using a RF, which itself will have a finite thermal energy, did you test at what intensity were the capsules sensitive itself to the probe and what their threshold was?

PG: [Thinks to himself..is she making angry love to me?.. feels like it.. verbal love..
I wanna grab her.. she is so malai(butter).. why is she talking so much.. ABE CHUP KAR!.. just hug me.. I will clarify all your doubts...]
Er.. we didn't test that.. we probably would, in the later part of this project..
[He knew he was lying, there was no funding available anymore for this..]

IB: So you are presenting an incomplete project? The anomalies aren't tested?
That isn't expected from a physics student.. Anyhow.. were the control groups i.e L929 or whatever cells analyzed using the same RF probe? were the diffraction effects taken into account? 

* By this time a small crowd gathers around this location.. which includes the invigilators, who themselves are in WTF mode looking at this chick 'probably in a different way than that guy though' *

PG: [Why do I feel that she is molesting me.. why do I feel cornered.. I feel being violated.. WTF is going on.. I am the man here!.. reply her.. reply her damn it!]
Um.. eh.. we, AuNPs  thermosensitive right? we were able to attain a size of less than 150nm, without agglomeration...so..
[He felt like he might have revealed his weakness, he was most vulnerable now..
he knew that he could be hurt.. by just words.. he just prayed that she didn't sense his vulnerability, unfortunately she did.. and she was going in for the kill.. mercilessly.. ruthlessly..] 

IB: [Agitated] That isn't making any sense. This size will have physical constraints associated, the diffraction limit will mar the over all resolution. Its basic physics.

PG: [I think she is raping me. I cannot get raped in front of invigilators.. why are there tears in my eyes.. what is she doing to me.. saali witch! kala jadu kar rahi hai ye toh (she is invoking black magic) he could feel his face making aghast expressions involuntarily, he still tried to reply.. a non-nonsensical one though ]
Oh I am not a physics student. I am a biologist, with a background in medicine.
[Almost praying, oh goddess of intellectual wrath, please stop raping me.I wont look at your boobies again]

IB: Hmm.. Disappointing..  

[She moves on to the next poster to continue her assault.. her next victim suffered the same casualties...]
Though the poster which was right next to this one, i.e besides the one that got intellectually demolished, was unmanned..
the guy who was suppose to present it had gone back to the hostel.. for "medical reasons".. I call that as collateral damage..



Fortunately she was nice to me.. smiling and all.. may be coz I still have that charm...of innocence left in me somewhere..  ahem ahem...
She was someone who you can love and hate at the same time.. envy her intellectual capabilities.. and may be her dominance..

When it was time for my friends to present their posters... we played safe.. we kept one guy (i.e me) to patrol her.. 2 guys near the non-suicidal escape routes.. as outposts.. so when she was around , the guy presenting the poster would hide in the toilet. [Yes it was that bad]
At the end of the day, women and invigilators named her "Jhansi ki raani, those who got victimized, called her intellectual balatkari.. i.e intellectual rapist.