Friday, October 07, 2011

That Late Night Chat


Me:  If I had money, and that I promised to give you a laptop, would you have married me?

Boom:  It has to be a vaio..white one, otherwise..sorry but no :p

Me:  Lol! What about Alienware!

Boom Well..I can think abt it.

Me:  About Alienware vs Sony vaio? :O
Damn you have offended me!
No marriage! 


Boom:  But we can live in, for the price of an Alienware.

Me: LOL! Does that include any fine prints, clauses? Like,"No sex"

Boom: If you buy me that 35USD tablet, you can touch my hands.

Me: LOL! I so knew it!

Boom:  It will be an open relationship.You can see the girls you want.

Me:  That actually translates to, "I will be seeing other guys". 
Reciprocity is just to make me feel better, isn't it? 
Anyhow, So if I buy you a 35USD tablet, I can "have" your hands?

Boom:  Yes, and I'll let you walk beside me.

Me:  So I can make your hands do whatever I want them to do? *winks*

Boom:  + 16 gb pendrive = handjob 

Me:  LOOOOOOOL! 

Boom:  Tech whore 

Me:  * Gives laly a Western Digital USB3.0 1TB HDD *
Now?
say aaaaaaaaaaa 

Boom: hahahaha 


Note: Boom/Laly is an awesome friend of mine, with enormous boobs.
Sorry laly I HAD to say it :p

Monday, October 03, 2011

Today's What The Fhaks.

 
One of my 'well-wisher' has asked/ordered/requested me to stop masturbating till my exams.

I don't understand the use of "captcha" in porn sites. Are they afraid of robots watching porn? Its fhakin ridiculous and its fhakin difficult to type that sh!t with one hand..That too left hand (depends though)



Pornsite: "Type the following words in the box given below"
Me: Sh!t..  where are the F*@#Kin words...
*the words load a time t after the box shows up*
Me: Ah!! Fhakh.. what is that! an e or a c!!!... kya chutiyapa hai ye!
*types... rather punches with my index finger*
Pornsite: "Incorrect"
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FHAKH!

In some captchas, the words don't mean anything.. they are just some random jibberish.. Have you tried actually pronouncing the words in such captchas? If not try it..You may invent an unheard abuse.

Some guy in South America died of masturbating 42 times. He was found dead in his bathtub..with one hand on his joystick... I wonder who counted. A Brazilian girl in the physics chatroom posted a link about this news and challenged every one of us there to beat his record and in process test the theory of the possibility of actually masturbating for more than 3 times... 3 guys agreed. I am one of them. But since it is in contradiction with my well-wishers request, I am reconsidering the acceptance of the challenge.

I watched cat videos on youtube for 2 hours straight. Those cute lil things fhakin get you hooked if you lack other sources of cuteness.

My mind is in some kind of memory iterative mode. It is playing all the scenes of my ex-relationship like a movie. Back to back. Looping. From how much fun I have, to how much I sleep is dictated by the number of events that remind me of her. I am wondering if this can be put to any practical use. Tune my brain to have nightmares about her/relationship at a precise self-adjustable time. That will work like an alarm clock.

I am unblocking everyone whom I have ever blocked on my messengers just to read their status messages.

For some weird reason I think about cricket when I am sitting on the potty.

I hate the fact that my computer doesn't let me win even one game of chess that I play against it Where as my Nokia E5 does, almost always...

I was supposed to write a post about something else.. but ended up whining.
And no whining is complete unless and until you whine about exams!
Bombay uni has declared the Molestation day to be Oct 14.

Anyhoe..All in all I had a pretty boring International peace day.. or whatever its called.