Monday, October 03, 2011

Today's What The Fhaks.

 
One of my 'well-wisher' has asked/ordered/requested me to stop masturbating till my exams.

I don't understand the use of "captcha" in porn sites. Are they afraid of robots watching porn? Its fhakin ridiculous and its fhakin difficult to type that sh!t with one hand..That too left hand (depends though)



Pornsite: "Type the following words in the box given below"
Me: Sh!t..  where are the F*@#Kin words...
*the words load a time t after the box shows up*
Me: Ah!! Fhakh.. what is that! an e or a c!!!... kya chutiyapa hai ye!
*types... rather punches with my index finger*
Pornsite: "Incorrect"
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FHAKH!

In some captchas, the words don't mean anything.. they are just some random jibberish.. Have you tried actually pronouncing the words in such captchas? If not try it..You may invent an unheard abuse.

Some guy in South America died of masturbating 42 times. He was found dead in his bathtub..with one hand on his joystick... I wonder who counted. A Brazilian girl in the physics chatroom posted a link about this news and challenged every one of us there to beat his record and in process test the theory of the possibility of actually masturbating for more than 3 times... 3 guys agreed. I am one of them. But since it is in contradiction with my well-wishers request, I am reconsidering the acceptance of the challenge.

I watched cat videos on youtube for 2 hours straight. Those cute lil things fhakin get you hooked if you lack other sources of cuteness.

My mind is in some kind of memory iterative mode. It is playing all the scenes of my ex-relationship like a movie. Back to back. Looping. From how much fun I have, to how much I sleep is dictated by the number of events that remind me of her. I am wondering if this can be put to any practical use. Tune my brain to have nightmares about her/relationship at a precise self-adjustable time. That will work like an alarm clock.

I am unblocking everyone whom I have ever blocked on my messengers just to read their status messages.

For some weird reason I think about cricket when I am sitting on the potty.

I hate the fact that my computer doesn't let me win even one game of chess that I play against it Where as my Nokia E5 does, almost always...

I was supposed to write a post about something else.. but ended up whining.
And no whining is complete unless and until you whine about exams!
Bombay uni has declared the Molestation day to be Oct 14.

Anyhoe..All in all I had a pretty boring International peace day.. or whatever its called.

16 comments :

AcetylCholine said...

I notice something has changed here.

xyzandme said...

@ AcetylCholine : Everything..

Live2cherish said...

molestation day: ROFL!
good luck with it!

Neter Isis said...

With all due respect to your ex-relationship and also as another well wisher, I would say- go ahead with masturbation if it helps relieve stress but most defiantly try to stop draining out emotionally by playing back the past. Find ways to divert your mind, do not go digging the messages if that triggers past thoughts instead challenge your self to take control of the present. Sadlly mind power is under rated these days.

Neter Isis said...

Also good luck with your exams.

xyzandme said...

@ Neter Isis: You are my hero. =D
You should really consider blogging.

laly said...

poor south american guy..i could have introduce him my girl neighbors...masturbation wouldnt have been necessary

xyzandme said...

@Laly! Why am I not yet introduced to your girl neighbors!! DO you want me to die!
*Threatens to masturbate*

manisha said...

All the best for ur exams....i am also one of the poor victims of Mumbai University..!!

xyzandme said...

@manisha: May you survive the wrath of stupidity from our 'beloved' Bombay University.

manisha said...

totally...!!!Hope i come out soon from the shackles of stupidity of Bombay univ...thanx a lot!!

Neter Isis said...

I do blog in a way by writing my thoughts on your blog. Flow of thoughts is what matters.

xyzandme said...

@manisha: Actually I did, but was put back inside by those same shackles. ='(

@Neter Isis: Would you write a guest post for my blog?

Neter Isis said...

I am not much of a writer. Sure your other friends who may be blogging for a long time are better choices.
Just wondering- what topic was on your mind for this guest post?

xyzandme said...

Much of a writer? I am not a 'writer' at all.
Yes I have already asked one such blogger long back. I hope she would find time to write one.
There is no such rule to how many guests posts one should have on ones blog.
Also I have had no such topic in my mind, I was rather going to say 'write anything that you would like to write about'.

BBBB said...

Oh, so I guess I'm still blocked, or my status messages just aren't as fun to read. :P

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