Wednesday, August 28, 2013


That is what is required of my brain to tongue connections.

Following various wildly floating philosophical ideologies of 'swag', 'I don't give a fuck' etc., My brain decides to say things out aloud unintentionally.
Moments where the brain should cut the supply to the tongue/vocal cord, and utter those words with the framework of internal neural connections, instead of blabbering it out. Few examples of my stupid blabbering:

Event A:
Nice and cool breeze is buttering the evening atmosphere at the Marine Drive. Two Xavier material girls are talking about their usual angrez stuff. They were Xavier material, so eavesdropping is a necessity.

Chick_1: You should really come with us! It'd be fun! It'd help you get over him!
Chick_2: I dunno Riya, I feel so lost and so directionless..
Me: Hi! I am unit vector, Befriend me and I promise you that you'd never be directionless ever again! ^.^

*They look at me with a "The fuck creep!" expression and leave the perverse scene*

Event B:
A long queue of people awaiting for auto-rickshaws. A good looking chicka is carrying a huge ass jackfruit in her hands. Enter me. I close in on her, giving no notice to who is around her or along with her and I utter this:
"That is one ugly kid missy! (Looking at the jackfruit) I bet your husband must be a real ugly guy to over ride the cuteness brought in by your DNA."

*I did not wait to see what her response was*

Event C:
A hot chick from my locality, who have not talked to me for years greets me while I am with my friends.. or well.. so called friends. I greeted back. And she tried to small talk. Which was surprising. Her parents were with her and were busy yapping with someone, but as soon as they saw her "small talking" with me, they responded with their parental calling routines. Within the framework of this small talk, she happened to say, "Your belly has come a little up! You should exercise!"
This is what all the people who take gym-going way to serious say about anyone who doesn't. To this I should have said : "Yea.. I should..."
But nope. I retorted back with:
" It is your three month kid. Born out of our secret affair last diwali on your terrace! I will be coming to seek alimony from you soon."
It was said vibrantly.. so loud and clear.. so matter of factly, the color on the faces of her parents got so pale that for a moment, I felt they were Caucasian. I think for a moment, I made them believe that male pregnancy is possible...
She giggled though...

Event D:
Briskly walking between my printing sprees, I caught a glimpse of a beauty in red and black, walking through the open corridors of the campus.
With her hair and dupatta flowing to the stream of air as she walked..
The game of hide and seek with our eyes lasted for quite a while.
As I entered my lab, I thought of her as a passing fairy, who was lost from the nearby management institute into this science lab-hole. And was about to proceed with my work in the lab.
There she stands, right besides my instrument (Ahem- ahem, I mean my laboratory apparatus) looking at it with lost thought.
My! My! what is she doing here! I thought.. and blurted out: Hey Hi! New student?
This is the time mere mann mein laddu fhootay. Till this time I worked alone in the lab and then this girl stands right here! The cliche of 'uparwala deta hai toh..' played in my mind a thousand times..

Her: No No.. I work here.. I mean I used to..
Me:  senior? (Confused)
Her: No, I am from the administration..
Me: Oh! Never seen you around.. (Confused and a little bit disappointed)
Her: Me neither.. are you new here?
Me: Yes, kinda.. been here for 4 months..
Her: That is a long time.. how come we never met?
Me: Huh!? Yea! (Was confused about her excitation and  her sense of disappointment about the fact of us not meeting previously)
Me: So what brings you here..
Her: O, I am quitting... Had to get my resignation letter signed.
Me: (expressively disappointed) Oh! Bad luck. My bad luck. *lightly bangs the desk*
Her: *giggles*

*Later I learnt that she was quitting the job, as she was getting married*

Event too much:
A trekking/hiking group, which included me climbed a fort in the laps of Sahayadris.
As we reached the apex, I came across another group, with girls. Lots and lots of chikni girls. High attitude babes on high altitude places.
This was like a gift of climbing 3000 meters bare foot. (A different story altogether)
Given the proximity of people climbing and descending, cross-connections were a common place. I lay my eyes on one of the girl from their group.
She is everything what my imagination could consider as an update to every other fantasy girl in my head. I stay close.

People screamed from one end and someone else replied from the other end.
I brought both the ends together. Too together.
She (who is a total stranger to me) screams: Bitttuuuuu!!
Me (who was at a distance of slippers slap) screamed back: Kyaaaaa!!
She(looking back at me..): Tera naam bittu hai?
Me (who should have said, no.. sorry): Nahi, but tereliye mein tera bittu ban jaoonga.
She: *laughs* Chal fhir tu aajse mera bittu.
Me: Aur tera naam kya hai..
She *tells her first name*

*After returning back home, I launch a campaign on facebook to find her based on her first name* * no results*

Sunday, August 18, 2013

A letter

I miss you. I am going to write down everything I feel about you. And all those moments that make me realize why I dont want anyone else and why I need you so bad.
The night on the beach. It was cold and I was sitting with my back to your chest. The necklacey thing I wore in my neck, we shared for a bit. It was cold, but warm. I wouldn't trade that memory for anything in the entire world.