My Thoughts. My Blog.

That Known Stranger.

2012-01-13T20:54:00.001+05:30

Pondering over her broken relationship, there she was, sitting on hard concrete at the side of queen’s necklace staring blankly at the Malabar Hill skyline.
‘What went wrong? Why did he choose her over me? Was I not good enuff for him?’
She blamed herself. She blamed him. She blamed the other girl. These multitude of emotions, in form of pearl shaped teardrops trickled down her rosy cheeks.

That warm southwestern breeze that blew over Mumbai’s neckline ..marine drive, every evening, was flowing over hers, comforting her.. like a guardian, wiping those tears off her face, guiding them towards the clouds.Immortalizing them.

“Hey!” She heard someone call. She didn’t turn around.She was too immersed in her own thoughts.The voice didn’t give up.. got nearer.. “Hey you!”

She felt someone poking gently on her back.That single touch reminded her of him all over again. All those thoughts clouding her mind. Her heart expected it to be him. She turned around.. not realizing that her eyes were still filled with sadness..and tears…

It wasn’t him.

“Hey! Shivangi!.. Whoaa! Dude you okay there? Or did I bother you amidst of admiring the beauty of marine drive a bit too much? Like a true poet that you are!”

She managed a questioning smile. She couldn’t really recognize who he was, though he seem to recognize her pretty well.

She was here to have some privacy, away from her friends, family..trying to find solace amongst the crowd. interestingly, she felt an unknown comfort with this ‘known stranger'. Though ‘leave me alone’ would have been her first response to any human contact, deeply within.. she knew she yearned for it.

“You know what, wait here.. I will be back in a few. OK?” He ran away from her with his back pack in his hand, towards the streets.

He was already on the other side of the road, before she could nod a ‘yes’.. or for that matter respond anything to him.

She had lost herself again in her thoughts.. but this time facing towards the traffic, her thoughts passing in her mind.. like the cars passing her field of vision.

She looked across the streets.Blankly.Didn’t even notice when he got back.

“Hey missy!” He poked her again, this time it felt plastic. It was plastic. A bottle of drinking water and..
“A chocolate cake?!” She exclaimed.
He smiled contently and nodded.. This was the first thing she had uttered throughout this ‘meet’.

“Water.. to rehydrate your tear glands, and chocolate to.. well you don’t require a reason to eat chocolate do ya now!” Grinning happily, he placed both the bottle and the cake besides her.

She was confused, her mind doing a sinusoidal breakdance. Her eyes being glued to the cake. There were memories, awful lot of them related to chocolate cakes, which triggered another mind storm of emotions.She resisted this time, holding back her tears and looked up to thank him.

He was gone.

She couldn’t hold back any more.. she sobbed. But this time comforted not just by the breeze but by this weird gesture by some ‘known stranger’..

Meanwhile in the mind of that ‘Known stranger’:
”Sale paisa kya tere baap ke pass jyada hoyela hai kya.. chala ladkiyon ko cake khilane..
Usne toh sale tuzhe ‘Thanks’ bhi nahi bola.. Cake fhekh diya hoga Arabian sea mein.
Pura deen se bhukha tu tha..aur cake diya usko.. Logic ki barabar ma behen lagake aya
Shabaash!”

An open letter to my liver from a gf-ish friend

2012-01-12T15:27:00.000+05:30

Hey xyzandme’s .. uff D's liver ,
I'd like you to know that you are causing too much of a problem with your unnecessary imbalances and inappropriate behavior. This guy that you reside in needs to get back to his business and kick some Chinese ass and do something really smart with the unique properties of ferrofluids which he is going to tell me about later. He needs to be able to stand in the lab for way more than 5 minutes and get back to Kerala very berry soon to the land of narials but no naris :p
Also he wants to be able to drink and have sex (An opportunity which will come when it will come.. but still). So get rid of that hepatitis A virus too… Please .
He also wants to make his own hukka and get a marine drive overdose and also do something so big one day that his picture on some science journal says 'de-virginize me' to all the ladies out there .
So with all this awaiting in his future I think he would need a strong liver and body so help him with it okay. This is one special cookie …help him get well soon .
Ps : Your neighbor i.e Mr.Heart is also having a few problems, if its not too much to ask please look into that too :)
Note to D : I spent 5 minutes on this don't say that this is so gfish etc . Its just a friend, lamely attempting to make you smile. So don't mind :D

Yours Sincerely
Lucky accident/stalker/gfish vibe giving, hopefully longtime friend.

2012-01-02T02:56:00.000+05:30

2011-12-10T16:34:00.001+05:30

Losing your best friend hurts more than losing your girlfriend.
But it hurts way more if they were one and the same person.

Stalk Exchange

2011-11-27T23:40:00.000+05:30

Me: yo man! whaadddup!
MeraDehatiDost(MDD): Nothing much...
Me: Dude do you remember that hot but short chick from college..the one that took comp science..
MDD: Who?
Me: dude there were just four girls in a class of 120.. and she was the only short one amongst them... you should be able to recall just like that..
MDD: Hmm.. Samiksha..
Me: you effin "Know" her by name? :O
MDD: Anisha..
Me: =/
MDD: Ashlesha..
Me: dude.. uske teen naam hai? teri itni jaan pehechan hoi gayi usse?
MDD: Anamika! Anamika Patel.
Me: 4th name.. or are you naming those four girls from our college?
MDD: Nah just confused about her name.. she isnt on my FB friend's list..
Me: Why is she not in your FB.. you have 99.99% of the college junta on your FB.. even the lab assistant's teenage daughter is on your FB.. why isnt Anamika! I came to you with so much hope!
MDD: sorry to disappoint you jhandfhakir .. she is amongst those unlucky 0.01%...Though last time I met her was back in 2009...wished her 'happy new year'.
Me: =/ She remembered you?
MDD: yes..
Me: Mereko kya ghanta pehechanegi.. =( Anyhow.. I saw her... few days back.... near the MG90 road.. nariyal paniwala baithta hai na udhar.. leherake balkhake ja rahi thi...
She is too cute to be ignored...
MDD: She is short..
Me: her cuteness over-rides her shortness..
MDD: True.. many guys had crush on her.. even our organic chem lecturer..
Me: Who? Dholya? or papaji?
MDD: papaji.. he had a thing for gujju chicks...
Me: Must be fed up of punju kudis and their moustaches :p
MDD: ={
Me: Ha!.. Anyways.. I wish I had done something back then in college to get noticed..
MDD: You almost blew up the chem lab and papaji with it..
Me: Bade bade labs mein aisi choti choti batein hoti rehti hai :p
MDD: Amen.
Me: Where does she stay.. any idea? I feel like stalking her in my spare time..
MDD: Stalking online?
Me: No. In real spacetime.
MDD: Ah ol' school style..
Me: ol' school?
MDD: yea when you used to stalk lil girls on your BMX cycle..
ME: Oh yea good old days..
MDD: Pedo sala..
Me: What! no! that was when I was little!
MDD:Not as little as one wants you to be for a non-pedo classification.
Me: -.-
MDD: you were a born pedo..
ME: WTF? That isn't even logically sound!
MDD: Yes you flirted with ovaries and 1 month old fetuses when you were born.
Me: -.- Alright stop!
MDD: You masturbated to the ultrasound pictures of other babies in the wombs when you were in the hospital ward.
Me: =/ So I was saying... Do you know where she stays? or works? or studies?

MDD: Don't know.. do you have enuff money to please any girl?
Me: i dont have enuff money to please myself.. why do you ask.. is she THAT kind of a girl?
MDD: No, but she is gujju.. you need to have a biznesh to stand any chance of hitting on her..
Me: I dont wanna hit on her... just stalk her.. statistically.. without her knowing it.. and then email her all the details about herself and creep her out...
MDD: Heartbreak has fhaked your brainsystem completely.
Me: =/

--- 3 Deen Baad ---

Me: Dude I have this intrinsic urge to find her.. I drink nariyal pani every fhakin day so as to have a higher chance to see her again.. in that area..
MDD: Happens.. hormonal imbalances can fuk your logical reasoning.
Me: No man.. now stalking her is the only motive i have when i go outside... chagaya hai mere mein.. ekdumse
MDD: =/ I will pray for you.
Me: She is so impossible to find! I even repaired my cycle for this endeavor. No luck yet.

--- Ek Hafhte Baad ---

Me: DUDE!!! I SAW HER!!!
MDD: Did you talk to her?
Me: Are you kidding me? you do know how much meri fhatti hai.
MDD: Akele chennai jake teri item ko milke aya tab nahi fhati thi kya be?
Me: voh baat alag thi..also.. she aint an item =/
MDD: _|_
Me: Anyhow.. does this shortie reside in Daffodil Plaza!?
MDD: Yes.. she did tell me that when we last met..
Me: why did you not fhakin tell me then! =/
MDD: Your desperation was entertaining.. I was taking full on mazzaa from it ;)
Me: Bokadchod kahinka..

---2 Hafhte Baad---

Me: mapping her sightings around daffodils plaza , i have a rough idea of her daily routine...she is pretty timid creature... kisi choray ke saath aabtak dekha nahi isko..
MDD: yea she is soni kudi.. but a shortie..
Me: get over it man.

---MDD goes into online hibernation, stalking developments aren't reported to him..till he returns, a month later, my 'relationship' with the shortie isn't that of a stalker any more.---

MDD: so any progress...
Me: an awful lot.. we are now 'friends'... =/
MDD: wow.. I dont even wanna know...also why the quotation marks..
Me: coz she confronted me... and said those three magic words..
MDD:Which ones? " Stop stalking me?" :p
Me: =/No.. She said .. I love you..
MDD: What the hell...You are fhaking kidding me..
Me: No man serious!!
MDD: but itnay jaldi.. in a month!?What did you do to/for her.. bokadchod~!?
Me: nothing! Kasam se! I wasnt even friendly with her...
MDD: She is on drugs or PMS or combo. How did she? I mean what did she say...
Me: You know.. the typical girly shit .. third order stress derivative on the word "like"..
MDD: What do you mean?
Me: the " i really like you" crap.. and its variants..
MDD: So she likes you.. it doesnt mean she..
Me: Abe gende sun toh sahi..From my previous experience I have learned to ask and clarify that shit, so I asked her right away ..what exactly does she mean by " i really like you".. she still went on with .. " I REALLY like you" with stress on really.. as if she was constipating.. but politely...
MDD: I will try that mannered constipation before going to the loo tomorrow but from what ever she said..it still doesnt still imply that she....
Me: Chup!.. pura sun.. I have not completed it ...
MDD: Yea.. go on..
Me: So I went on and did a seedhi baat and asked her... " Does that mean ..in generic sense.. that you love me?"
Me: She kept quiet... we walked like that for a while..
MDD: Cut the dramatic crapshit and temme the end result you geelicunt.
Me: And then we entered a quieter and lonelier lane.
MDD: See you are still at it..you are redundantly gay..
Me: There she said 'yes' looking down at the road...
MDD: Muzhe ek bata , tu itna drama kyon ghusa raha hai teri story mein? You may be gay.. I am not...
Me: Dude she is the first chick that has said ' i love you' to me in real!!! like in physical reality!! No computers involved... My braincells would remember every bit and piece of such an event..
MDD: Fine gaylord.. so what did you say..
Me: I stopped and looked at her... and she...
MDD: NOOOOOOO bhosdikeee... just TO THE POINT bata zhandu balm ki 6th aulad~ you can describe this event on your blog in your typical gaytone.. not with me..
Me: =/ I said.. "I like you too but I dont .. you know..."
MDD: Tera dimag toh sahi hai na? Mana ki she is a bit tingu and all.. but fhakh dude she is super duper hawt~! how can you fhakin.. what the fhakh is wrong with you bokadchod!?
Me: Nothing..
MDD: Do i need to remind you that you dont really have a face to make chicks fall in "love" with you.. so jo bhi milraha hai usko haan bol zhandkhor...
Me: =/
MDD: is it coz of that chennai ki idli chatney? O_o
Me: WTF? =/
MDD: So it is bcoz of her... great! tu 21st century ka newton banega.. aur virgin marega...

An Incomplete Account of an Incomplete Journey

2011-11-07T23:37:00.003+05:30

The following "write-up" is from my so called 'diary' that I had chosen to write on the train on my way to chennai. Which when finished would be given to 'her'..

The diary remained incomplete.. So did the relationship.

I found the diary as I was cleaning my travel bag, as I was getting ready for another
26+ hours train journey..

This time for physics.

Anyhow.. here it is..

So after a long wait & a series of weird feelings for over a month or so, I am finally in this "express" train to chennai for you.

Your phone call just before the commencement of the journey was like a good omen, so I am hopping that this train doesn't crash and burn on the way. But given the record of accidents on this route, you never know.

I have made some stuff for you,which took some finite force x distance to carry around which got me wet from sweat.. much more than you ever could get.. Not *just* by sweat in your case :p

My built in chick detector became active as I entered the railway station where I was supposed to board this so called "express" train. But as soon as I approached the coach.. the continuous 'andu gundu thanda pani..' , The 'aayeeyos and aammaaas' turned it off.

Interestingly, I met a Vietnamese dude.. with a full on chinki look.. you know .. the slit eyes and all that with a stance which screams 'Heee Haaa!! Haeeyaa!'

He approached me, since I have a " I am a very amiable guy " sign on my face..

His angreezi was un-understandable, but I think the feeling was mutual.There were numerous chinki jokes going through my mind that I couldnt stop smiling. He perceived it as my amiability's higher feature and asked me to look after his luggage. =/

The train's announcement was made, I boarded it while my eyes instantaneously locked on a gujju chick. But soon detected the presence of a humongous male (her father) besides her and the chick detector underwent segmentation fault.

Trying to find comfort on the window seat of Indian railways, I was bothered by this tamil kudi, who looked like she was 'born and brought up in mumbai'. She asked me to get up and change seats, as I was sitting on the wrong one.. I obeyed without even checking her claim. Her way of querying and claiming would have made any feminist proud. She was high on nari shakti. Her deterministic gesture was more than enough to get me moving even before she completed that gesture.. She probably patted herself on her back thinking "ek mard ko aapne isharon pe nachaya". She left the coach, since she was here to drop her granpa who sat right in front of me.

Non-estrogen-al chick environment se coach mein mayusi cha gayi.

The train started to move its arse at around 8:40 PM ever so slowly.. like nayee naveli dulhan, matka matka ke.

The 'mighty' WDP4 engine tried to justify its 'Express' tag as it picked up speed.

I tied my overly sweat drenched T-shirt to the window rails to dry without considering how many people might have spat and puked there.

The train whizzed past my home-railway-station..I smiled... I felt like it wished me "best luck".. As the train moved outta the city limits..city lights got replaced by lights from factories.. concrete jungles by broken mountain ranges..

All advices from home about strangers and bahar ka khana, fell flat on their faces as my mouth went "mmmmmm" to the smell of biryani.. So I ended up asking this railway pantry car guy if he had the chicken biryani.. He said .. he doesn't, but can make one just for me.

Abhi isne "attithee devo bhava" itna seriously le liya toh, how could I not have that biryani!

The biryani was brought.. it was tasteless..

How can I move on when am still in love with you? -- Poulomi.

The Late Night Chat

2011-10-07T03:41:00.000+05:30

Me: If I had money, and that I promised to give you a laptop, would you have married me?

Boom: It has to be a vaio..white one, otherwise..sorry but no :p

Me: Lol! What about Alienware!

Boom: Well..I can think abt it.

Me: About Alienware vs Sony vaio? :O

Damn you have offended me!

No marriage!

Boom: But we can live in, for the price of an Alienware.

Me: LOL! Does that include any fine prints, clauses? Like,"No sex"

Boom: If you buy me that 35USD tablet, you can touch my hands.

Me: LOL! I so knew it!

Boom: It will be an open relationship.You can see the girls you want.

Me: That actually translates to, "I will be seeing other guys".
Reciprocity is just to make me feel better, isn't it?
Anyhow, So if I buy you a 35USD tablet, I can "have" your hands?

Boom: Yes, and I'll let you walk beside me.

Me: So I can make your hands do whatever I want them to do? *winks*

Boom: + 16 gb pendrive = handjob

Me: LOOOOOOOL!

Boom: Tech whore

Me: * Gives laly a Western Digital USB3.0 1TB HDD *

Now?

say aaaaaaaaaaa

Boom: hahahaha

Note: Boom/Laly is an awesome friend of mine, with enormous boobs.

Sorry laly I HAD to say it :p

Today's What The Fhaks.

2011-10-03T03:29:00.004+05:30

One of my 'well-wisher' has asked/ordered/requested me to stop masturbating till my exams.

I don't understand the use of "captcha" in porn sites. Are they afraid of robots watching porn? Its fhakin ridiculous and its fhakin difficult to type that sh!t with one hand..That too left hand (depends though)

Website: "Type the following words in the box given below"

Me: Sh!t.. where are the F*@#Kin words...

*the words load a time t after the box shows up*

Me: Ah!! Fhakh.. what is that! an e or a c!!!... kya chutiyapa hai ye!

*types... rather punches with my index finger*

Website: "Incorrect"

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FHAKH!

In some captchas, the words don't mean anything.. they are just some random jibberish.. Have you tried actually pronouncing the words in such captchas? If not try it..You may invent an unheard abuse.

Some guy in South America died of masturbating 42 times. He was found dead in his bathtub..with one hand on his joystick... I wonder who counted. A Brazilian girl in the physics chatroom posted a link about this news and challenged every one of us there to beat his record and in process test the theory of the possibility of actually masturbating for more than 3 times... 3 guys agreed. I am one of them. But since it is in contradiction with my well-wishers request, I am reconsidering the acceptance of the challenge.

I watched cat videos on youtube for 2 hours straight. Those cute lil things fhakin get you hooked if you lack other sources of cuteness.

My mind is in some kind of memory iterative mode. It is playing all the scenes of my ex-relationship like a movie. Back to back. Looping. From how much fun I have, to how much I sleep is dictated by the number of events that remind me of her. I am wondering if this can be put to any practical use. Tune my brain to have nightmares about her/relationship at a precise self-adjustable time. That will work like an alarm clock.

I am unblocking everyone whom I have ever blocked on my messengers just to read their status messages.

For some weird reason I think about cricket when I am sitting on the potty.

I hate the fact that my computer doesn't let me win even one game of chess that I play against it Where as my Nokia E5 does, almost always...

I was supposed to write a post about something else.. but ended up whining.

And no whining is complete unless and until you whine about exams!

Bombay uni has declared the Molestation day to be Oct 14.

Anyhoe..All in all I had a pretty boring International peace day.. or whatever its called.

This Or That

2011-09-28T15:39:00.002+05:30

Life is part chance and part choice. Both are interdependent.

Sometimes interlinked.

Your life, at the end of it all, the way it turns out to be, depends on a ratio. A chance to choice ratio. How much of it was dictated by chance & how much by choice.

Some, in their life, choose to move on, some choose to move in. Some choose to settle down, some choose to remain dynamic.

Its always easier to take a painkiller to relieve a migraine and move on, than to suffer from it, study its symptoms, understand it and cure it completely.
If given a choice, easier ones... less difficult ones are primarily sought.
This can be extrapolated to the primitive " Flight or Fight" choice.

Moving on is easier than moving in. Settling down is easier than staying dynamic.

The intricacies of choosing and choosing randomly increase when one considers "good/bad luck" or "good/bad choice".

Bad luck/choice is associated with failures while good luck/choice is associated with success.

Chance/luck comes to everyone, it is as common as air.
Choice on other hand is rare. Can be thought of as a luxury.

Being born in a filthy rich family is by chance. Eradicating all the richness, living in austerity to attain enlightenment is by choice. (Yes an extreme example of Buddha, but you know what I mean.)

According to a new NOKIA ad, a chubbilicious rich chick in minimalistic clothing, due to her 'austere' lifestyle ..needs to get online with her peers to consult in real time about the choices she makes. One of which is a life changing choice, what colored shoes should she wear? Red or green, green or red.. ah purple!

In the sub-sahara africa, there is probably a kid in minimalistic clothing too, almost naked though..who is making a similar choice. May be not as life changing as the nokia chick, but a life ending one for sure. And no it wouldn't be about shoes, coz he wouldn't have any to begin with.

Has "pampering", "having a good time", "having fun", "looking good" gone way beyond a threshold? Is the "I don't care" attitude taking a toll on you being a human?

What you "want" and what you "like" is it based on your choice or advertiser's?

Are they manipulating your wishes, your choices?

It was by chance that you came across their ad about their product, but its by choice that you'd choose to buy it. Interestingly, they devise the ad so cleverly that they brainwash you to buy their product.

Your today is a product of your choices and your chances in the past,

your tomorrow will be the product of the choices and your chances of the present.

Power to choose, comes to a very few.

When given a chance, don't guess, choose.

Coz if you don't, someone else would impose their choice upon you.

Dare to choose.
Doesn't matter if its right or wrong...

Making a wrong choice = Process of learning.

Making a right choice = Don't worry, you won't get that lucky ;)

Should the ones with the power to choose not care about the ones without it?
If your answer is "No, why should we?" Then you are that Nokia ad's chick. Wear black stilettos for today evening. ;)

So would you choose to follow the trend.. i.e just go with the flow or try and change the course of the flow altogether?

(Note: 'you' here = me, I blog about myself and then read it, its like parallel process accompanied with the normal 'thinking' process aka being jobless.)

Re-Lapsed

2011-09-22T18:06:00.001+05:30

Relatively old drafted post:
Posting this blogpost from my beloved nokia E5. Editing paragraphs etc, may not turn up the right way. If you swear against my nokia E5, your 73rd generation of kids will have one testicle and/or 3 tits.

Technically, my life as of now is considerably fhaked. People to be blamed are, ofcourse..
I, me,myself, bombay university and 'others'.

Striking a social balance has been a fundamental stuff happening to me..Gaining a good relationship, gaining a bad friendship, losing a good relationship, losing a bad friendship..all of it occurring in a cycle...

It is fascinating how some people spend years wanting to 'know' you, but never quite understand you. Some seek to know you quickly and end up misunderstanding you... While some seek nothing, but end up knowing as well as understanding you completely within a matter of days.

Strangers will make you say 'oi, thats strange'. Avengers will wait for their turn to avenge.. Scavengers stroll around you for their opportunity to scavenge... Is there really any point to wait anticipating a revenge?

Chanakya once said... Selfishness is a major parameter for friendship. I am still trying to understand what exactly that half naked baldie with a ponytail meant. May be the more of 'others' I encounter... the meaning will clarify itself.
Also..I may turn into a communist for a change.

Any comments posted against my nokia E5 will be subject to termination.

But in the end it doesn't even matter..

2011-09-20T22:48:00.000+05:30

Bombay University's bureaucracy, a so called friend's "friendship" and a 'loving' 'relationship' seems to have so many
features in common, that all of them decided to mentally annihilate me at the same time. Though some time has elapsed since then..its some 'blast' I have from my past.. Whenever I think about it, I involuntarily hum Linkin Park's 'In the End' .. Interestingly, my mind thinks about all of the three with equal weight, and often together. Trying to relate.. one with other, kind of metaphorically. If one's life's "happy" state could be described by a graph.. mine would be like this for
time(t) > Diwali 2010. (Obviously not to scale!, this is a friggin blog, not wolfram alpha mathematica).

Meh.

Grammatical Error or Reality Check?

2011-09-16T21:47:00.000+05:30

What changed?

2011-09-06T05:19:00.000+05:30

Everything.. well almost.

An addiction lost. Though still craved for.

A void formed. Though being filled by so many other things. It still remains.

Move on? Sure. Where to?

Probably its just the rant of a noobish mind. The inertia of a fresher.

The resistance to 'move on' of untrained neurons. The whole idea of missing someone or something pertaining to someone is pretty new to these neurons,

like a condom - in its prototype form, introduced for the first time to a group of men.

" Alright guys, you get to hump that young lady over thay-yer, but by wearing this on your ding dong..."

" Wtf is this sh!T"

"Now now.. its not sh!t, its a sheet.. it will not get her pregnant.. will make you feel a little bit less at home (if you haven't been there before already don't you worry) and it would entrap and kill over a 100 million of you... "

" Sounds.. Bad..but do I still get to put my ding dong in her ting tong?"

" Ah yes you do.., albeit with this sheet.."

" Thats dry humping of some weird level... alright I'll wear it"

I think I got digressed.. argh nevermind...

2011-09-01T14:50:00.001+05:30

The opposite of "I love you" is not "I hate you",

its "I'm over you"

& it hurts...big time.

Intellectual Balatkari

2011-08-26T15:19:00.004+05:30

Have you ever been patronized by someone you least expected to be patronized by? Also the patronizing isn't insulting, but hurtful. It isnt aimed at you to be insulting, there is no "mutually personal" motive, no personal feud. You are getting patronized not for the lack of knowledge, not coz you know less "English" words, not coz that other person has 'memorized' more crap than you have.. Memorizing.. which includes dumping a lot of textual content.. which may include zillions of words English words.. medical terms .. procedures of doing something again and again.. in your memory with no sign of creativity. This isn't learning and patronizing on that basis is stupid and I am not talking about that.

Event: Nanophysics poster presentation.
Location: A large hall with two doors (read escape routes), and 7 windows.. (read suicide routes)

Subject: A Ph.D student of Physics from IIT Kharagpur. She was hot.. comparatively..

Target: Everyone, who was presenting a poster.

First blood: Poster: Fabrication of biodegradable and thermosensitive Au/Chitosan-g-PNVCL hybrid nanomaterials for radio frequency based cancer therapy.

Intellectual annihilation begins:

IB(Intellectual balatkari) i.e the Ph.D student : So have you gone from top down or bottom up approach in making these AuNPs?

Poster Guy, PG: [Checks her out.. is confused about how a hot chick(relatively) have found her way inside a Nanophysics poster presentation..is she lost!? he pinches himself twice confirming his conscious state... now checks her out again *differently*...*smiles*]

We used the bottom up approach, using green route to manufacture AuNPs..and then suspended them in form of a colloidal solution which is biodegradable..

[Feels manly, having answered more than what he was asked about..by a hot chick.. feels victorious.. feels dominant.. feels like a man]

IB:[she continues unimpressed] That is self-contradicting, given the environment is going to be the human body. Did you check for the transport phenomenon? I mean that is how you will be subjecting them in the body isnt it? The nano capsule mustn't be decomposed before it could reach the target site.

PG: [Enters a conclusive WTF mode for a while, one reason being: he didnt really listen to her.. was looking else where.. an year long project work had taken its toll on him.. deprived him of women, almost completely....he is looking at her in wrong ways and at the places he shouldn't be looking at.. his subconscious gathers bits and pieces of what she just said ...and he tries to reply.. but she doesn't allow him.. she continues..]

IB: I mean you are making it thermosensitive and activating the system using a RF, which itself will have a finite thermal energy, did you test at what intensity were the capsules sensitive itself to the probe and what their threshold was?

PG: [Thinks to himself..is she making angry love to me?.. feels like it.. verbal love..
I wanna grab her.. she is so malai(butter).. why is she talking so much.. ABE CHUP KAR!.. just hug me.. I will clarify all your doubts...]

Er.. we didn't test that.. we probably would, in the later part of this project..

[He knew he was lying, there was no funding available anymore for this..]

IB: So you are presenting an incomplete project? The anomalies aren't tested?

That isn't expected from a physics student.. Anyhow.. were the control groups i.e L929 or whatever cells analyzed using the same RF probe? were the diffraction effects taken into account?

* By this time a small crowd gathers around this location.. which includes the invigilators, who themselves are in WTF mode looking at this chick 'probably in a different way than that guy though' *

PG: [Why do I feel that she is molesting me.. why do I feel cornered.. I feel being violated.. WTF is going on.. I am the man here!.. reply her.. reply her damn it!]
Um.. eh.. we, AuNPs thermosensitive right? we were able to attain a size of less than 150nm, without agglomeration...so..
[He felt like he might have revealed his weakness, he was most vulnerable now..
he knew that he could be hurt.. by just words.. he just prayed that she didn't sense his vulnerability, unfortunately she did.. and she was going in for the kill.. mercilessly.. ruthlessly..]

IB: [Agitated] That isn't making any sense. This size will have physical constraints associated, the diffraction limit will mar the over all resolution. Its basic physics.

PG: [I think she is raping me. I cannot get raped in front of invigilators.. why are there tears in my eyes.. what is she doing to me.. saali witch! kala jadu kar rahi hai ye toh (she is invoking black magic) he could feel his face making aghast expressions involuntarily, he still tried to reply.. a non-nonsensical one though ]

Oh I am not a physics student. I am a biologist, with a background in medicine.

[Almost praying, oh goddess of intellectual wrath, please stop raping me.I wont look at your boobies again]

IB: Hmm.. Disappointing..

[She moves on to the next poster to continue her assault.. her next victim suffered the same casualties...]

Though the poster which was right next to this one, i.e besides the one that got intellectually demolished, was unmanned..
the guy who was suppose to present it had gone back to the hostel.. for "medical reasons".. I call that as collateral damage..

Fortunately she was nice to me.. smiling and all.. may be coz I still have that charm...of innocence left in me somewhere.. ahem ahem...

She was someone who you can love and hate at the same time.. envy her intellectual capabilities.. and may be her dominance..

When it was time for my friends to present their posters... we played safe.. we kept one guy (i.e me) to patrol her.. 2 guys near the non-suicidal escape routes.. as outposts.. so when she was around , the guy presenting the poster would hide in the toilet. [Yes it was that bad]

At the end of the day, women and invigilators named her "Jhansi ki raani, those who got victimized, called her intellectual balatkari.. i.e intellectual rapist.

2011-08-24T15:19:00.000+05:30

4 nil

2011-08-23T02:11:00.002+05:30

About 7 to 8 blogposts were written over a time span of a month or two and then thrown in the "draft" folder.. Only few could make it..
Others lay there like textual zombies feeding on the very words they were made up of.
I think, I am slowly but surely losing my ability to 'click' on the 'publish' button and/or my ability to write, which was anyway negligible.

My fate and that of the Indian Cricket Team ..seems to be undergoing the same phase..
Huge achievement followed by a grotesque defeat. A defeat which is making them question themselves, doubt their worth.. Dhoni knows that he isn't this bad and is sure that his team is definitely not this bad either. He wants to let the world know about this. He wants to scream, (I bet)..that they are deservedly the best.

He even has the proof. T20 World Champions. Test Ranking numero uno, 2 Time IPL champion. And the biggie.. World Cup 2011.

And yet just one bad test series has marred everything off. That easily.

Everything, from every piece of hardwork in the nets and on the field, every drop of sweat and blood lost for these many years, every reward brought, every smile he put on the faces of a billion people.. all gone or turned into mockery..

All that will be remembered is 4 - nil.

The feeling of alienation by people is psychologically damaging.

I know, I have been there.. I am still there :p

Sirf ek mistake.. Bas ek mistake aadmi ko khallas kardeta hai..(Just one mistake kills the man).. no matter how colorfully painted your past was..All that would matter is the bottomline.

When.. no matter what you do,
everything/everyone seems against you..

Now that the English have almost annihilated Team India, they would probably leech as much as they can on our weaknesses in the ODI as well.

Coz thats what many people do.. screw things up for others and then derive rewards/pleasures from it, consciously or unconsciously..

All you have to do is to wait and keep trying. And your time WILL come..
the wait wouldn't be long..coz the past that you have painted was truthful, it was from your heart.
During all this 'waiting' time you will be confused, do or say things that you didn't even mean to do/say.. You may be pointed to and laughed at, at the vulnerability.. at how easily you could be broken down.. how easily whatever you built with blood,sweat and tears could be taken away from you.. just like that..

But all that sweat, all that muscle tear, all that energy lost.. shall pay off soon..

Trust me, the force will be with you..and hopefully .. with me too. :p

We shall overcome.. we shall overcome some day..

Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe,

Hum honge kaameeyaab ek deen.. =)

When the going gets tough, you should get going...

Cricket isn't 'just' a game, its a way of life.

Those who disagree, may fhakh off.

P.S:For some unknown reasons, I day dreamed about MSDhoni reading my blog

I prolly need a rehab. I am going way too far with imaginations..
Porn star with three tits is one thing.. but MSDhoni reading my blog is.. just.. weird. =/

Kya Karoon Kya Na Karoon

2011-07-31T03:48:00.006+05:30

Ye kaisi mushkeel hai.. Koi toh batade iska hal to mere bhai..

What a jhandofically gay song it is.

So apart from staying up late, making a physics chatroom as my new virtual home and b!tchslaping teenagers over there for their tormenting rants, I derive sanity from stroking the paint brush (this doesn't sound right, but nvm) on the drawing paper.

Not that I am good at painting or drawing or anything even remotely related, but it was an idea my mind came up with.

How did all that start.. inception stories are always interesting.. well they are made interesting.. Heres mine :

Mind: She likes orchids, send her orchids.

Me: Dude, its over, thanda le, aur sprite pi sprite.

Mind: Abe chutiye send it to her as a friendship day ka.. you know..

Me: Hmm.. You do realize, its not the same anymore. whatever that is left between us is more complicated than a situation where a moving electron is subjected to superly-duperly varying magnetic field where its motion is like a person who is trying to dance to justin bieber's Baby Baby, and Michael Jackson's thriller at the same time.

Mind:Just google some orchids.

Me: Whokay.. ooo 6 stems..900 bucks, 1000bucks.. Bank mein 300 hai....

Mind: Ek stem dete hai kya pooch..

Me: =/ .. I'll see if baapu can arrange some mullah in my account..

*Circumstances/Surrounding parameters changed over the course of the next few days*

Me: Bola tha na.. its not the same anymore. Chala gand-masti karne.

Mind: Muzhe kya pata, itna ulta pulta ho chuka hai.

Me: hmm.. sale abhi mera mood theekh karne keliye kuch karna padega..

Mind: Porn?

Me: Why do you always suggest me that.. waise its not a completely bad idea...

Mind: Lets draw something..

Me: What? what kind of retarded porn fantasy is that?

Mind: Drawing.. idiot, that which involves pencil and paper , not penis and tissue paper.

Me: Draw what? My leaning tower of Mumbai?

Mind: I didnt knew you addressed it like that...umm.. Orchid..Draw an orchid.

Me: Whats with you man, kal se orchid orchid.. Gay ho gaya kya ek breakup ke baad. Ro ro

ke satiya gaya hai kya? Has crying increased the amount of estrogen in you?

Mind: Chu, khopdi maat satka be... just do it.

Me: Nike ke chamche, I cannot paint shaint..

Mind: Try..

Me:Whokay...

So this is the end result.. I dunno what it looks like.. The idea was to paint an orchid.. after outlining it by a pencil, that idea changed to " something like an orchid".. Half way through coloring it.. it changed to " mutant orchid!" .. When I was almost done.. I could hear myself praying to M.F.Hussain.. 'Man.. let it atleast look like some flower.'

When it was done.. My mind spoke " Bhencho! Ye kya bana diya be, Char pair wali makdee lag rahi hai, samundar ki makdee" (WTF have you made, looks like a 4 legged spider, sea spider)

So this is what anger+ frustration+hurt+no painting skills+jobless-ness+reminiscent love+hatred looks like on the paper.

And then..

My heart: Send it to her..

Me & Mind: Huh? =|

Me: Yo, you need rest.

Mind: Hmmm..

Me: Seriously? 'Hmmm' REALLY!? Crazy organs..

So shud I shud I not.. Shud I Shud I Not..

(P.S The inception story may not be exactly true, though the question stays valid.)

(Update Edit: Real blue orchids in a vase sent. Response: Disliked by my heart.)

Once in a while...

2011-07-29T23:58:00.000+05:30

When everything goes wrong, its almost impossible to stay strong.
It gets so morose that you dont even feel like playing with your schlong..

What if you try to correct that what went wrong?
The more you try to fix it, the more it goes wrong.

Your soul, body, heart and brains (both) become independent characters.
Of this play where the script is being written by biased and filthy writers.

Throughout which you are nothing more than a doormat, an option.
You end up being a really cheap bid at this hurtful auction.

When you possessed a flower,
bees and butterflies around come to suck the nectar.
Now since it has withered,
they dont even bother to buzz and flutter around your sector.

You curse yourself, you curse every other,
but none of it makes anyone of them bother..
As you no more have your significant-other.

Each day each night, you remember that which you lost..
you know you learned a lot, but at an unimaginable cost.

Angry with yourself, with everyone around..
an anger you cannot show,
an anger that which you must not let any one know.

They say, time heals everything,
but even that fhaker is relative.
Both in physics and in life.
For some it passes effin quick,
for some its more adhesive than friggin fevi-stick.

I am wrong, I make mistakes,
But thats no reason to make my life wrecker than the wreck..

Hell fhakh it, now go down and suck it.

Quote from Singham "Sirf Galti kya hai ye jaane se koi fharak nahi padta , galat ko sahi karne se fharak padta hai."
(Just knowing whats wrong doesn't change anything, but correcting whats wrong does)

1279 kilometers away...

2011-07-10T06:11:00.004+05:30

Chennai was so hot that.. when I was taking a shower .. and I pee-ed as usual.. some of it landed on my feet.. it burned. Burnol lagana pada...Also,I admire my internal plumbing of my body to sustain such high internal temperatures.

Went to some mall... a part of which was devoted to "music"..All CDs and crap.. where Bade Baap ke Bade Bacche were talking in weird language about different types of music, or genre..Jaan-Rah! Kya chutiya pronunciation hai.. Either the pronunciation is sh!t or the spelling is..I wondered if this was a PORN section, and people were discussing types of porn genre in the same seriousness as they were discussing music types..

Guy:"Oh does xxxSoftMature excite you?"

Girl:"No, I prefer it Hardcore, you know, its less subtle and suits my mood most of time."

Guy:"Thats interesting,Coffee?"

Girl: "Sure! =)"

I wonder if they can retain that same elite high class chuttad expression on their face during this conversation.

Chennai-ites do make fun of outsiders. They laugh at the fact that we dont know tamil and are not versed with their tamilian ways.Fortunately not all of them are like that.Friendly bunch, but I yearned for chicks.There were None. NADA!

Some buses had a fhakin horizontal ferris wheel inside them..Two buses connected as one.. Almost all of them were in damaged state.If it weren't for GPS I would have been lost in the jungles of chennai... GPS helped me so much that within two days I was helping the locals there with directions.Amma Go straight, right illa, straight poda...You can actually try sounding like them using long sounding extensions for every word and modify it a bit.. be it any word from any language.. you can make punjabi sound like tamil.. even english..Like this : Ewouuuu kyaan Myeak yenee laangayz laaaeek Tumeel.

It's kind of a blessing when you are trying to communicate with someone there and they reply to you in hindi.. brings an instant smile on your face.

Many old men wear lungis in a weird fashion, its like a male version of miniskirt. I really yearned Bombay ki kudiyan looking at these lungis. I wonder if such a weird way of wearing a lungi can be the new sexy.. if worn by chicks that is..


The ones I saw revealed more thighs.

I listened to almost 12 hours of tollywood music in my hotel room. Sun TV and its close relatives. All the male actors represent the actual people. The actresses however.. no I didnt see a single female entity in chennai who was even remotely similar to them.

Tollywood music is filled with high amount of testosterone. It feels like the male actor is humping that female chick in his mind. Thats how he dances. I liked the music though. Their lyrics blend well with the music. It was like listening to an instrumental. The singing was just another musical instrument. None the less I liked the songs.

The names of the places in Chennai are funneh, I mean ofcourse they are tamil names, but if you keep on saying them.. a weird kind of melody comes out of it...

One other noticeable fact is that, your poop color, texture and quantity changes. After too much of idli dosas sambar, your poop looks like sambar. And that makes you repulsive towards sambar just after few days. After having a very very tasty masala dosa... I developed an intense detest towards it in 2 days.. I went from aaaaaahhhmmmm to eewwwwww.

Also, no chicks.. I know I reported that before but it is an issue which must be addressed by the Tamilnadu State Government. Import chicks from other metros.

I dunno what kind of people would have gone to chennai for the first time and thought about settling there. " Oh its 100 deg Celsius out here.. my sweat evaporates before it comes outta my body.. it almost never rains.. I should settle here."

The rickshaw walas are wallet rapists. They would charge you so much that even they would giggle if you agree to pay them what they ask you to. I asked for a ride, from university to saidapet, a place pretty close to the uni. Walking distance. But the heat was killing me. So that rickshaw guy goes like.. " anna 500" , I say " Ghanta illa 500... I will give you 50" He gave me a very tamilian expression, which probably meant WTF and FHAKH YOU simultaneously.

Interestingly, the Bus fare was ridiculously low. Like REAALLY LOW. Taxi/cab ride from my place to the uni costs about 700 bucks. The bus ride costs 6 bucks. I dunno if they run those buses on coconut oil or saudi oil.

The cleanliness was as low as the bus ride's fare as well. It seems like.. it was OK to remove content from ones nose with a bare hand and use that same hand without washing to remove the contents from the nariyal paani. It seems like it was OK to sneeze on the face of the fellow passenger and smile back at him, like you just got blessed by his sneeze.

I am happy to be back in bombay, but I would not mind going back to chennai, coz it still harbors that which is very special to me...

This post means no offense to chennai-ites, but if you take any offense, then I really do not care, coz you do know that chennai sucks, face the truth.

UnHugged, UnKissed, UnFhaked.

2011-07-07T06:20:00.003+05:30

UMD & ME

UltraMuscularDude(UMD): Yo! Whaddap! long time no see geeko freeko...

Me: Yea man... where have you been? Pumping those proteins in you?

UMD: Nah man! done with that long back, currently busy just banging chicks...

Losing money on hotels.. 3 times a week man!! *wink wink*

Me: Whoa man, I dont even masturbate with that much frequency...

UMD: You still in training? You need to go out and get some man!

Me: Unlike you,I have no muscles or money or magic..

UMD: Very tragic.. look that rhymed!

Me: =/

UMD: So you haven't got laid.. you will some day.. keep your hopes high!

Me: Forget "laid", No female entity has ever hugged or kissed me either...

UMD: You make me sad man... I will think about you when I bang this chick next

time..

Me: Thanks man.. that makes me feel better.. I dunno why or how.. but it does..

UMD: So you are unhugged, unkissed and unhumped...

Me: For 24 years.. almost quarter of a century..

UMD: You must be really ugly.

Me: Thank you for your compliments.. I am flattered

UMD: if you have money you should fly to US or Europe and study there for a year..
and bang chicks.. beetches are easy there.. my friend did that..
he says, they like him being exotic..

Me: I am atmost erotic.. not exotic..

UMD: =/ You need to have confidence in yourself mate! Hold your act together

around a chick.. they will fall for you.. look in their eyes mate!

Me: Ghanta confidence.. They need to be around me to for more than few

minutes for me to actually perform my 'act' in front of them... and how do I

that if that chick is in a ticket queue.. thats the location where she is

constrained to spend maximum time around me.. with her bf besides her..

Me: Uski ankho mein dekhon ki uske bf ke? ( Look in her eyes or her bf's?)

Why expect it from a stranger, when the girl who knows you the most

fears from shaking hands with you.. Fhakh I must be darn ugly..

UMD: I think you should go with that.. are you an untouchable?

Me: No, but I guess.. being that would be much less distractive...

Anyways! So temme about the chick you were banging thrice a week .

who is she?

etc.

GPS, Gayer per second.

2011-07-05T04:01:00.003+05:30

Shit just got shittier.

I have been lately accused of being girl-like, no not just because my belly looks like I carry a 3 month old baby..
But the characteristics I have developed.
Masculinity has given away to the " awww - sho cute " behavior. Which is ridonculously ridiculous.
I have been reading books with titles like "Losing my virginity and other dumb ideas"...
"34 bubblegums and candies" etc..
And its not just about reading... its about the amount of interest I take in reading these books.. and no not even that!.. its the "emotions" that come to my mind and I "feel" for those characters.. its just .. gay..

Plus I am in love with nutella...

I need a change.. 'masculinious' change.. Need to hang out with guys with testosterone oozing from their.. argh nvm..
I need to restore my masculinity.
Any number of sane helpful suggestions related to this.. are welcome.

State of my mate at a deteriorating rate.

2011-03-02T17:21:00.005+05:30

Condition as on Day n+1 ,
where n is the number of days since
the expiration of warranty period.
I think n = 2. Warranty period being 1 year.
When the fone was bought,
it was already declared canceled
by the phone company.

Condition as on day n+2.
As one can see there aint
any noticeable change.
But then.. hmph

Condition n+k, where k>3,
I cannot quantify k as
there were several transitional changes
in the condition of this electronic marvel.

Condition as of today.
Pretty fhaked up ..innit?
Before this condition was attained,
There was a barcode like transition
phase from the previous state to this one.
I had to dial random numbers on my received
call's list to get to the desired number...
Most dialed call used to be of my classmates..
Its easy to identify them as they
start the conversation as:
"Bol maderchod" "wassup ahole"
" why did you call me fhaker?" etc

I have subjected this phone through the following things since the day I bought it which was about an year back.

1. Put it in a hot water tub to test for its water resistance as claimed by one of the reviewers on some site.

2. Placed it in under direct sunlight for about 72 hours ( sun time ).

3. Make it go through several accidental drops from various heights.

(Maximum height being about the one from the overhead railway platform bridge.)

4. Dropped from a moving train.

5. Machine wash (vertical as well as side types) multiple times.

6. Used as a weapon against canines, superb built quality makes it a good projectile .. like a stone.

7. Playful juggling the fone in one hand... resulting in several low altitude drops.

Apart from the screen damage, everything else is intact. It still receives calls and texts. Fixing the screen would cost me 600 bucks... while the phone being about 1000 bucks currently.

Since my parents have witnessed almost all of the torture that I made this fone go through, they have diplomatically denied my request to buy me another fone. Baap bola.. get a job, get a fone.

M vs. H

2011-02-21T15:19:00.004+05:30

Abusive content ahead... Gay post ahead.... Long ass post ahead... Hump ahead...

Ah Magnetization(M) vs. Magnetic Field(H)... is not what I am talking about when I say M vs. H... though given my exams staring right at my face, with their gallant huge penises ...I should be talking about it....

Anyhow.. this is more of Mind vs. Heart....

(yea me talking about heart and all ... what can I do.. even I had that great fall...)

Mind: Okay arsehole stop making me think about her. I cannot fhaakin study when you are constantly bothering me with her thoughts.. I mean here I am .. trying to study the phase transitions of a thermodynamic system and there you are babbling about transitions involving her as a system...

How ... am... I ... supposed.. to ... study behenchod!

Heart: Sorry dude.. you got to put up with all this now.. its part and parcel of the life..

Mind: Don't give me this philosophical sh!t motherfhaaker, ' part and parcel ' my ass, you fall for her.. and then you fhakin drag me with you.. Fhakh biology.. I fhaakin wish that me and you were independent entities.

Heart: Why are you this abusive? I am telling something to you in simple words. All you do is shower abuses.

Mind: Ma ki aankh! I have right to be abusive.. Coz its me who suffers.. Its me who does all the thinking you dicksh!t... yes even about those thoughts which are illogical...coz its me who goes " WTF WTF WTF WTF ad infinitum" when I see no logical consistency in her behavior .. and for that matter your behavior.... you decomposed sh!t of whoreage!...

Heart: Is that even an abuse? =/

Mind: Don't you see the term " Whore" in it? anything prefixed/suffixed to any abusive term is an abuse....

Heart: OK... Somethings are not supposed to be looked at logically. I love her. Do you see any logical reasoning for me ... and for that matter even for you to do so?

Mind: I told you behen ke loveday.. stop being all ramdev baba-ish philosophical with me... Fhaakh you.. if there were any logical reasons to not love her ... you would still love her .. You are a crapsh!t..

Heart: True. We.. I mean me.. did fall for her way before she started reciprocating ... without a "logical" base to that... you tried to suppress me to not to fall for her...You being surprisingly successful at it..

Now that she confessed, you had to let me out... and now since I love her and am concerned about her.. it pisses you off... I do not get it.. Am I not supposed to be concerned about someone whom I love?

Mind: Concerned my ass.. you are ridiculously talibanish about her... Don't do this.... don't do that? behen ke tattay.. she is not your property... you dicklicker...

You make her feel like she is your caged bird... One mention about some non-random guy by her and you go all crazy.. and then you make me get forcibly crazy... I mean WTF?

Heart: I cannot help it.. its natural..

Mind: Yea dicklet... blame it on nature now!, just coz you cannot control it.. its like a rapist saying " I cannot stop raping .. coz its in my nature to rape"

Heart: =/

Mind: And its me who tries to react to her 'guy-based' chatter in a logically sound manner.. and when I am trying to do that.. you rape my mind with destructive thoughts .. insecure thoughts.. immature thoughts.. which I end up telling her... for which.. interestingly enough.. 'I' get called an immature person ... or even insecure person .. in COMPARISON to THAT non-random guy!!! I mean Doubleyou Tee Eff!

Heart: =/ I am sorry...

Mind: What sorry sh!tface??.. If I had a penis I would have raped you in your arteries...

Heart: My concerns ... my feelings are all legit.. I am not faking them. I cannot pretend to not be concerned about or care about her, even if it sounds ridiculously talibanish or immature..

Mind: Loveday ke baal.. but it hurts her... STOP HURTING HER .. you b!tchface!

Heart: Now you are all caring about her?

Mind: Don't tell me that gets you jealous...

Heart:It does.. she is mine.. no one else's ...not even yours... not even of her parent's... just mine...

Mind: Okay mofo.. are you high? if you keep on doing this asscracking business of yours.. she will run the hell away from you..if not... I would personally ask her to get away from you .. you lamedick...

Heart: =/

Mind: Stop showing me that erectile dysfunctional dickface mofo....

SHE JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT SOME GUY!! and look at you .. you are "this" close from suffering from a cardiac arrest.

Heart: Its much more than some guy...

Mind: There you go again... Rant it all out b!tch.. rant it more than those hitlerrants videos...

Heart: He "likes" her.. more than "just a friend" .. she likes him for being there when YOU... yes YOU were not around.. She poured her heart out to him..

He listened to her.. he got closer to her.. and now wants to meet her..

I dislike... and I hate you for keeping me away from her...

Mind: What the fhaakin hell.. don't even try .. even remotely to blame it on me you...lundfhaakir... I warned you she was not for you... you were dreaming too much... I mean look at her!!! She is Awesome... and look at you....you are immature.. and insecure... No one likes that... you are a child..

She wants a man.. someone else is being that man.. she is happy with that... If you really "love" her , whatever retarded sh!t that is.... you should deal with that..

Heart: But it hurts.. it hurts to see her talking about or talking with someone else.. it hurts even more when she talks good things about them.. it hurts even more when she defends them...

Mind: Okay moron... heres a newsflash... I don't give shit if you get hurt... no one gives a sh!t if you get hurt... I only give a sh!t about her....I don't want to see her get hurt due to your random gayward love sh!t that you spray on her...

Heart: Then you are just being like the other guy who likes her... and cares about her.. and doesn't want to see her get hurt... and wants her to be happy...

So by your definition.. he loves her too... where is the difference between my love and his love....

Mind: Gand chaba dunga mein teri gali ke kutton se.... Moron.. SHE LOVES YOU!

Theres the difference....

Heart: For now.....................

Mind: Did you take a fhakin journey in the time capsule?

Heart: What if she stops loving me... in future.. coz that guy will not quit trying ...

Mind: Then face the competition you wussiepussie.... You don't deserve her in the first place... you clitditcher... If she leaves you "IN FUTURE" and stays happy with whoever she chooses to.. don't you think its perfectly logical to let it be so? I repeat.. literature states the primary condition for love is " To try to make your lover happy UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" If you do not understand this.. do one thing... forget her.. and die...

Heart: Why do you make it sound like I do not try to make her happy.... but I want more.. I want us to be happy.. I want MYSELF to be the cause of her happiness..

Mind: Apna muh dekh bhosDK....and then demand/dream.... you have been more of a reason to get her sad.. you have got her hurt gazillion times..... all the happiness you provide is just a compensation for that....

Heart: I know I have been a trouble for her, I have hurt her.. but even though this may sound like a lame excuse... I would say it again...I DID NOT MEAN IT!.. I know that her being close to someone else before.. or even now.. is something I have caused..
If I had not been such a moron back then... whats going on right now.. or whatever was going on back then... wouldnt have taken place in the first place...

Mind:When you get all insecure.. you start beating real hard.. you know what its called? Heart beats...nothing even remotely interesting about it.. with all that you make me go through... as an after math and I start beating... pulsating.. you know what its called? Migraine!.. And thats painful .. you shattered dick...

Heart: But I love her....

Mind: yea so do other guys..

You get this body of ours to shiver .. at even a mention of another guy... you get it feverish.. you fhaakin make this body fall ill when she talks about him... I mean what the fhaakh behenchod...

Heart: But I really love her...

Mind: No one really cares about your sh!t behen ke tattay... and stop babbling like some religious zealot.. have a rational argument without playing the " love " card.. or GTFO.

Heart: =/ What do you want me to do.. stop loving her? Coz thats never gonna happen...

Mind: No, don't do that.. its almost impossible for you to do that..you are too weak to do that..Heres what you should do.. ....You should stop being yourself for a change.... Try to make her happy.. even at your expense...

Heart: Hmm...

Mind: Dont act like you understand bakri ke lund... coz you dont...

Anyhow.. Prepare yourself...gradually.. in the following way.....
assume that she will hurt you every time you talk with her.. assume that she will stop loving you someday.. prepare yourself more and more..... so that you don't do any thing emo when that happens... take each stab with a smile.. joke around.. DO NOT JUDGE HER. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING AGAINST HER.

Heart: is it not faking something?

Mind: loveday ke ghane baal.. do you not want her to be happy or not?

Heart: It is faking.. its pretending ... I cannot do that...I love her...

Mind: ANSWER ME FHAKHFACE.. DO YOU WANT HER TO BE HAPPY OR NOT!?

Heart: yes I do..

Mind: Then STFU.

Heart: I cannot!!.. I cannot see her with any other guy... I really cannot... I trust her, but I do not trust anyone else.. Not even the ones she trusts....not even me...

Mind: you know what dicklicker.. I am gonna screen out everything you ask me to tell her.. or ask me to think about her .. NOTHING FROM YOU SHALL PASS ME..

I am gonna see to it that she remains happy...

Go get yourself raped whorelord.... _|_

May or may not be continued...

I wish, that I couldn't wish.

2010-12-27T04:58:00.002+05:30

I wonder what part of our mind drools and wonders....about the "what if" factor..

Or the "I wish..." factor...

Mind is a giant simulating machine. It simulates as much it can.. You can just watch something interesting, and your brain would figure out all possible outcomes you may have after interacting with that "something".. right or wrong doesnt matter.

And am not talking about the generic "wishes".. not those fat ass santaclaustic wishes.Something profound..something on the lines of " One man's food is another man's poison " kind of wishes. Those wishes you think of .. colloquially speaking ..' from deep down of your heart ' but then you suppress those wishes thinking.. 'OMG! how the hell can I think of something like that!?'...

Generated from the most ancient part of the brain (this is what I think).. they may be mostly about the most basic desires. They may ignite a tiny spark in your mind which when fanned by your thinking brain may lit a huge ass flame.. aka burning desire.

Most of these wishes should never be brought out to the real world. Thoughts .. not all but most of them must be locked safe in the securities of the non-verbal speech. Coz not all thoughts are worth sharing, and no one in this world is trustworthy enough to share them with.

Well all said and done.. I have decided to unlock and reveal some of my

"I wish" - es.. Why? Coz I am stupid and so are these wishes.

And injecting a bit of stupidity in this profoundly stupid world is of negligible value anyways...

I wish....

That I did not get jealous and insecure every time she mentioned anything pertaining to any other guy..

That I want to be someones first.. and probably someones last..

That I want my first kiss be hers first too...my first love to be hers first too..

That I did not feel guilty while being with her, thinking in my mind that she may not be the one... and I am wasting my time and energy here.

That I could make a definite decisions of certain things rather than living in an uncertainty...

That I did not fear hurting people.

That I was a bit more selfish.

That my 'feelings' center in my brain shuts down completely.

That I could trust people...

etc etc...

These are actually wishes that my mind strongly feels about.. I dunno why.. Its ridiculous... or is it :/

Observing the Observer

2010-12-24T04:20:00.004+05:30

Event A: Hunger forced me to eat out at a shady junk food joint in a very elite area of bombay. ( The area is so elite that even the cabs there are mostly logans...)

Event B: I ordered a sandwich and sat along side on a semi-broken stool .. watching people and the infrastructure around .. and wondered ..how the fhaakity fhakh did these people get so much money!?

Event C: Two really really hawt chicks arrive at the same fast food stall.. and they are wearing really really short shorts.. like the shortest version of shorts...

I mean if 'short' was a person.. even it would go .." Thats short!.. and it aint me"

Event D: They were standing really close to me.. ( not that I intentionally positioned myself like that... but the space limitation around that stall made them forcibly stand this close...) ( But thats the case with most of the girls I have interacted with.. its always some or the other constrain... *sigh* ) .. But they were standing too close to me.. I mean the bacteria on our skin could communicate with each other.. kind of close...

Event E: I decided to ignore looking at them completely.. except "those" accidental looks.. Coz if I did .. .. I better not say what would have happened...you know.. Natural reactions...

Event F: I started noticing few interesting things.. well interesting to me atleast..

I mean anything looks interesting if you wanna prevent a flag hoisting ceremony in your pants.

Lets say that.. generally those chicks would have been the primary system, me being the primary observer.. and rest of the world being the surroundings..

Now since I intentionally tried to have an anti-straight, anti-pervert mentality about this whole situation.. I saw some difference..

The surrounding became the primary system.. and also a secondary observer.. while I stayed an primary observer.. while the shortened shorts chicks became the secondary system. One might say...I started looking at them, indirectly..

Event G: As I looked around.. I saw people looking at these shorty pants with amazement.. and when I say people.. I meant every one of them.. from 15 to 50.. from their BMWs and AUDIs to cabs and Buses.. with a stare.. a really glaring stare. " oooo I wanna tap that shorts" kind of stare.. Even some chicks stared.. but their stare was more like " Ah I wish I had a booty like that.. with such non hairy long legs.."

But thats just my perception of their stare.. it was an elite locality.. so lesbianism cannot be ruled out.

To get another idea of how hot those chicks were.. , the guy who was selling the junk food started singing justin bieber's Baby Baby.. in an Indian accent ofcourse.. He made justin sound like himesh reshamiya.. ( an improved variant ).

Then he DJed it with some bhojpuri track .. with extremely sultry lyrics....

If I come across ( not in the double meaning sense ) any such a shorty pants.. whom I knew personally.. I dont think I would control myself from uttering..

" Holy crap thats short!.. but oooooooooooo wowie " * drools* O_O

Experimentally yours.

2010-12-08T12:02:00.006+05:30

Disclaimer: Sadistic post ahead.

404,Blogger.com,

Firefox Browser,

Ubuntu 10.04 LTS.

December 8, 2010.

~~Dear~~ all Xs and Ys,

How are you all? Well this standard question has been the initiation of

almost all conversations we have ever had or we are currently having or I may have with other Xs and Ys in future. There would be some exceptions with this format though.. some conversations may have began with " hey sexy ".. or similar derivatives of that...

I have been a "nice guy", atleast relative to the social norms, to most of the X's and Y's and most of you have been nice to me, though your niceness was according to my norms, which may or may not be nice according to the social ones. From your dress styles to your lingerie colors..from your first kiss experience to your first fuck experience...I have been an indirect witness, like an audience who listens to a recorded telecast of a cricket match that took place ages back...Mind you such an audience are very few in number, almost all prefer a live telecast.

To summarize, most of you have told me everything about yourselves, not that I remember everything.. but on an average.. yes I do.

But there is an inbuilt problem with such kind of interaction. You all kind of start taking me for granted. This "taking me for granted" would have been cool if I was a genetically engineered stoic Artificial Intelligence. Though I tried to be so, and for a larger part, I am so.

Statistically speaking, ( I can, due to the large number of Xs and Ys ) if one analyses the time of the month when you all text me " I miss you "..or " I wanna talk to you ".. etc etc as in .. the time of the month when you want to interact with me.. approximately matches the " your time of the month "..

How do I know it? Coz you all told me that too!

So however you tag the relationship between me and you, I am merely your emotional tampon. In other words, just friends. Though it definitely doesn't start like that, or may be it does.. and I was too naive back then to notice.

But given that I am not a robot, I would too have an emotional feedback.

As in a response to your blabber. And such a response is very high when there is a mention of " that other guy ". This is common with the Xs and Ys with loads of baggage of relationships from the past. Or sometimes even the current ones, you know "crush" types. And having a crush on an actor is not equivalent to having a crush on the guy next door. Even a blunt statement like " I like him " can trigger an immense emotional feedback from my limbic system, something I always suppressed/controlled. Not anymore, or atleast I do not want to anymore...Any such abrupt emotional feedback from my side, may end up in me being stupid, which for a major part I am, atleast when it comes to relationships.

Anyhow, thank you for providing me with such a learning opportunity.

I was and always will be ...

Xperimentally Yours

Beauty of Reality.

2010-11-07T06:08:00.001+05:30

Thanks @ monika for bringing this to my notice. :)

Rhyme Time

2010-10-29T21:53:00.006+05:30

Walking on the dark dark street..

With her and my pedal driven wheel was a divine treat..

Talking, arguing, contemplating ..

Me , her and my pedal driven wheel silently rotating..

I talked, with her... about the stars and the constellations..

I knew she was bored...

as she was replying with monotonic affirmations..

But,

Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..

For her..

in the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..

He came soaring from the rear..

the engines of his car making a noise..

which even the darkest of the darkness couldn't bear..

He halted his guzzler parallel to my pedal powered steer..

And opened the door, opened it for her..

Showing off his higher tier..

She smiled, smiled for his authoritative gesture..

I for one remained there with my pedal powered creature..

watching her glide , glide in his white machine..

What I felt?, loads of feelings together..like a mixture.

But,

Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..

in the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..

The door closed with a resounding thud..

My brain said.." Dood you just got pwned by a stud!"

He drove away with a roaring sound ..

Like a really.. really hungry hound..

Almost involuntarily ..

I mounted the pedal powered wheels,
I rode like never before, just for her
I knew would be easily outdone..

By his guzzler..

Only for her, coz she was the one.

My already few muscles.. ached,

Thinking about her with him made my mind to quake..

The wheels were made to turn

I could feel my calories burn..

The speed increased .. with every recoil

of each of my muscles..

Just the thoughts of him with her.. made my blood boil..

But however hard I tried

I couldnt beat his polluting guzzler .. powered by the Arabs oil.

Little that I knew , that there was a predator waiting..

In the darkness of the night, with his car polluting..

Mediators

2010-10-14T02:14:00.001+05:30

Wiki definition: A "neutral" party who assists in negotiations and conflict resolution, the process being known as mediation.

But am considering the ones who knowingly or unknowingly relay information back and forth between two people (Given that those two people do not have a direct channel of communication established between them, for whatever reasons)

Also considering this on a broader scale, every medium is a mediator.

The air around you is a medium when you talk to someone else, it is acts a mediator of highest possible fidelity.

As in whatever data that comes out of your stinky mouth, gets delivered to the other person without any tampering (Atleast the content is not tampered, the volume(intensity), clarity of the sound may be tampered but not the message itself.) Here am considering non windy, no-background noise environment, consisting of standard molecular ratio of the gases in the atmosphere.

So I can represent the one way relay as:

[You] ------> [Mediator Y] ------> [Person X]

When the Mediator Y is air,

[You] ---1---> [AIR] ---2---> [Person X]

Where 1= content uttered by you, and 2 = content received by the person x.

For AIR, 1=2

For Windy/noisy air,( and if the distance is large between person x and you) the case may be different..

[You] ---1= I don't love you---> [Windy AIR] ---2=I do love you---> [Person X]

"I don't love you" May become.. "I do love you.."

What if the medium that connects your vocal cords (vocal folds), goes awry and does not remain faithful to the things your mind wants to say? As in you say something , while your mind had thought of saying something completely different.

Example: A girl passes by you.. your brain thinks " Wow!! Bow to thee Goddess!"

(Yea... its an hypothetical situation.. just assume.)

But your vocal cords go : " I wanna hump you all night long!"

What fhaked up state the world would be in..

If inanimate mediums/mediators can be so crappy, how much trust can one put in the "human" mediator.

I personally dislike all kinds of mediators, and it takes a finite time to train the vocal cords to behave the way you want.. its a hard thing to do... and lack of fluency in the "English" language as the language for the mediating purpose may screw things up.

Then there is cloud mediating, you say a lot of blabber to almost everyone around you , and it becomes awfully distorted till it reaches me.

Also its interesting to see that, the mediators that do not forward the received data at all tend to minimize the damage (Example: Mediator F)

Cloud Mediation (The arrows can point either way)

You to all the mediators: I dont know what he is thinking, I wish we get back together, or atleast talk about what went wrong, resolve it out. He did stop talking with me .. I am hurt

Mediator A to Mediator B: I think he fought with her, things arent well between the two, she says he stopped talking to her for no reason.. He hurt her. She wants it resolved but he does not.

Mediator B to Me: She blames you for ending this relationship, and holds you responsible for hurting her, you should resolve it, or go eat poop, with pee chatni.And go rape your neighbors doggie.

Mediator C to Mediator E: They no more talk with each . I think it was her..

she prolly does that to all guys .. its good that its over..

Mediator E to Me: Dude, wtf happened? I think its her fault..

(Mediator G; an opportunistic.. is looking for a girlfriend desperately, and is thinking " Hmm now that she is all vulnerable, I should go for her and take this opportunity")

Mediator G to me: She says you did something that hurt her. and all that.. and you know.. whatever.. why did you stop talking to her? You say it is difficult to forget her.. but you must try... you should move on...

Mediator F: Eh? _|_ I dont care.

So technically am not using term "mediator" as per the standard definition,

This all mediation nonsense reminds me of the game I used to play with other kids in the childhood.. it was called " Telephone Telephone" , where we sit in a circle, and one of the kid whispers something in the neighboring kids ear and that kid whispers it in the next kids ears and so on.. till it reaches the kid sitting besides the kid who started the whispering. And the last kid is asked to say the sentence aloud.

The longer the message, the fhaked up it gets till it comes back .. or till some arsesh!t kid somewhere in between messes it up on purpose.

Kid1----Kid2

| |

Evil Kid 3--Kid 4

Kid 1 to Evil Kid 3: flowers smells great.

Evil Kid 3 to Kid 4: Your fart smells great

Kid 4 to Kid 2: your fart is great.

Kid 2 ( says it aloud): you fart great.

Even though Kid 1 and Kid 2 are so close together, involving mediators separates them more and more.

Next time if you consider involving mediators, take into consideration the following parameters: 1. Their ulterior motives; 2. Their command on the language they will be using to mediate; 3.Their tendentious nature; 4.Their existence of being a mediator.

But then, I think.. if you really need mediators to solve problems existing in your relationship -- whatever kind that may be.. that relationship between you two was just a delusion, it never existed and there is no point in re initiating it or resolving the problems in it ...for the best of you both...

I learned my lesson.. you should too.

If you actually read all the crap I posted above..well .. get a life :p

Jai ambay gaaauvreeee !!!

2010-09-26T09:09:00.003+05:30

Got my 9 year old bicycle repaired ( For the 192749872385476837658th time in this year ).

I call her Black B!tch, not because I am a racist or anything, or fantasize black chicks... Just cause I ( my dad actually) got it colored black.

If I hadnt did that.. I would have to call her brown B!tch... the color of RUST! (not because she is Indian, nor do I address Indian girls like that.. even though they behave like that sometimes )

Why b!tch?.. coz she is B!tchy...Eats almost all of the money that I leech from my parents on her maintenance.

Her nick name changes every day, its situation dependent ...

When something goes wrong.. she is the Black slut.

When I dodge the dense traffic by taking her over the sidewalk.. over the divider.. between the vehicles...and move ahead of those traffic trapped high end motorbikes with guys carrying high end chicks on the pillion...without anything going wrong with the chain or tires or the brakes..., she is my black beauty!

That cycle repair shop got her so well repaired, that she became spanking new!

Gears fell in place.. The chain didnt fail....brakes were screeching awesomely.. Making a sound heard at a distant.. One accident type attention getting sound...

I got so excited that I challenged the dogs in my locality .. those arsediks always run behind my cycle with their big ass teeth wanting to bite a piece off me...

I trusted my black beauty today.. and went full speed on them...that scared the sh!t outta them.. and one of the dog tried to bark but ended up coughing :/

I went close to him.. and abused the dog...( verbally O_o )

I plan to do something similar tonite too..

My mom is giving me weird ass syrups..regionally called " kadha", Its made of the weirdest sh!t possible..some super unknown plants and spices. .. to cure my cough..( i should prolly give that dog this crap too )

Adulsa: One of the ingredient of the dreaded syrup

There is some super "pooja/Havan"(is the term for a sacred purifying ritual (yajna) in Hinduism ) going on at my home.. with multiple muscular dudes lighting bonfires in my living room, shouting codewords in sanskrit to praise the almighty. Given the decibel levels of their shouts.. I am wondering if the almighty is deaf. I am not supposed to participate in this actively.. Coz that would mean me extinguishing that fire with a fire extinguisher. So am only allowed in "when needed".

Plus.. Can virtual events, have real effects?

Replaceable assets?

2010-09-22T17:09:00.002+05:30

If an object feels like a rose, smells like a rose, looks like a rose and has all other parameters that defines a rose.. Is that object a rose?

(I was going to say "woman" instead of "rose", but given the astounding number of poetries written about their analogies, it doesnt really matter..atleast not in non scientific terms)

The development in Science and Technology has given us the capacity to make such "objects" (& many more like vibrators,viagra pills, contraception pills.. but thats another story). May seem like complete sci-fi, but sending stuff in space or watching someone getting naked in Texas,US back in India was classified as sci-fi too few decades back.. So who knows..

Anyhow,

So my point being, are we replaceable?

Lets not go into the scientific mumbo jumbo, but don't most of us replace stuff around us? Including appliances, pets and people ?

The existence of the terms like ex-bfs,ex-gfs, ex-wife,ex-husband,stepmother,step father etc.. have arose out of the system as someone somewhere got replaced.

Oh and I didn't mention "friends", there is nothing like "ex-friend" though.. I wonder why.But the replacement scene does seem to prevail there too.

So if there exists something like ex-bfs and exgfs and et al , does it mean "love" (whatever that term may mean, but is associated with such relationships) replaceable?

Has mankind reached a point in the timeline where human being can be treated as an appliance?

Is it that the people who are being replaced or is it their "brain states"?

And what calls for replacements?

"You arent the same anymore"," You have changed" etc etc... So what parameters one seeks for while uttering these words?

Glossary:
Brainstate is something a given person will be in at a certain instant of time.

That person will have all the characteristics pertaining to that brainstate.

A same person can attribute multiple brainstates at different instances of time, but no two or more brainstates at the same time. One may say " I hate you", but may be liking you , which actually is the current brainstate, the " I hate you" part was just a lie.

Brainstate, according to me, can be attributed to neural networks. Not neurons, but their network, like an internet.. Some thing which is synonymous with "consciousness".Its said that, neurons can be thought as water molecules.A single H2O molecule doesnt make water, its only when there are multiple of them.. only then its water.

If this was weed, I would be so high right now

I remember people in terms of their brainstates, its easier for me, given that people tend to change.A person whom I found interesting 1 month back may be a SOB/DOB today.. Its better to think those two entities as different people. May increase the effort to keep track of virtually created people, but I can deal with that.

Anyhow, If you have skipped whole of the above blogpost , good work.

It was written in a state of complete misery ,fhaaked up throat and sleep.

You did the right thing.

Now just before you leave... think about this:

The person, you look at in the mirror..is it really you?

Suicide Attempt?

2010-09-16T03:01:00.007+05:30

I didn't have enuff money to buy a rope,
so I tried to strangle myself with my institutes ID's neck strap.

But then I thought, there already have been 2 suicides this year in my institute..
UGC may stop funding if there were any more suicides... and that may kill the physics department which is already reduced to its minimal!!! Holy crap!!

Plus I just remembered that there is so much sh!t left to do!! So many people left to piss off..So many lab rats to observe! so many things to whine about..So many crappy blog posts to write..So much of music yet to be listened to..So much p0rn yet to be watched..Fhaakh & I dont think I wanna die as a virgin..
Sala no time for suicide!

Marna canceeelllll!!!!

The above stunt was influenced by the following piece of filmy material..
Unfortunately, in my case there is no daru(booze), or basanti(the heroine)
or her buddhi mausi (old aunt) to die for :p

Note: I was kidding. In the Fight or Flight decisions, " To fight " is set as default in my brain.

I would like prefer to die with a bang or with old age with a hot jailbait BJ-ing me or both.

i am a "wannabe" Suicide BJ Bomber(?)

Dont wanna say No, Just wanna say Now!

2010-09-02T00:38:00.003+05:30

Am as usual ranting about the amount of work to be done before the upcoming exams, and virtually nothing gets done (virtual work?)

Its so much of it that when one goes around to just check out the syllabus with a full enthoo (enthusiasm, Bombay area students lingo) , one hour passes and you are still going thru the syllabus.. and at the end of that one hour.. you loose all the enthoo to study.. and then end up doing everything apart from studies for next 18 hours ..and go to bed ranting about it on the blog and to oneself.. hmpf..

The following pics give a "jhalak" ( glimpse ) of how
few of those 18 hours were spent by me...


My personal Heat Engine at 2AM, (H)Eat = Work

My Ammunition for the ongoing assault,
Codename: Operation Mind Fhaakh

And this is how some people like to think of me (& her) as..

2010-08-23T07:55:00.007+05:30

Nope, I have never said that and
would never ever say that.

The other hand is in her pocket,
I bet that she has a Rakhi in it..

Courtesy: Soni,

Who should seriously quit thinking about me and start studying instead :p

PS: Soni bhai you wanna fail or score just 57%?
If not then stop sketching me and anything associated with me

Chandni Raatein & the return of the dot me-s..

2010-08-15T14:12:00.007+05:30

External entity: .. (blabber blabber..) a girl named chandni will be assigned for this project with you...( blabber blabber).. she is new to this.. ( some more blabber)

Me: huh? wait what? who? whaa?

External entity : hello? Will see you tomorrow at the meeting. *bangs the phone*

Me: Dude, hello? * wtf mode begins *

Feminine.Me: * sings * Chaandnii raatein.. hai hai chaandni raatein...
Me: shut up.. :/
Pervy.Me: Did anyone hear the term "chaandni" echoing around the whole fhaakin mind , or was it just me?

Me, feminine.Me, Logic.Me,optimistic.Me, and all other .Me-s: Just you..
Pervy.Me: O_o oookay.. * goes back to sleep*

Feminine.Me: Phew.., So you have a date tomorrow eh?
Me: whaaa!? NO!
Feminine.Me: * sings * chaandni raatein.. haaai.. ye pehli mulakaatein...
pervy.me: See!! I hear that echo again!
feminine.me: you have been masturbating too much, bible says it screws up your mind..prolly thats why you are hearing echoes...
Pervy.me: :S .. you are catholic? :/
Feminine.Me: I can be anything that disgusts you. Its called being Tit for Tat.

Me: I should get back to studies..
Me: Thermodynamics!!! New book!! cool print out isnt it.. its still warm...
Logic.me: it shud be, its about heat :p
Pervy.me: warm like ... a.. like a...
Feminine.me: we dont wanna know..
Me: So ideal gas approximation can be used when the real gases are highly dilute?
Logic.Me: yea..Its logical.. :/
Feminine.me: * sings * Chaaandni raaatein... haai....
Me: COME ON!!! STOP THAT!!
Feminine.Me: whaaat! :p Am just trying to sing...
Me: And am trying to friggin study! and i think thats way way way more important than anything else. so shut up!
Feminine.me: Just temme more about it, rather lets discuss for a while..
Me: No!!!
pervy.me: YES!
stomach.me: * growls * * dizzies * dude I dont feel fine..
Feminine.me: See! thats what happens when you do not talk about it...
Me: You know what happens when we talk about a girl.. it gets fhaked up.
Pessimistic.Me: Its gonna get fhaked up with this one too, so there is no harm in talking about her anyways.No profit no loss.
pervy.Me: Should I get the tissue papers?
Pessimistic.me: Is he gonna cry?
Emotional.Me: Am I?
Pervy.Me: No.. I thought he is gonna " think " about a girl.. so you know..
Feminine.Me: no we dont know.. and dont wanna know..

*Temporal space: 3 hours of no studies, havent eaten properly *

Me: i cant sleep. :(
Feminine.Me: Shud i sing a lullaby?
Me: Okay..
Feminine.Me: Chaandni raaatein.... haaaai..
Me: :( :( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stomach.me: Dude.. please stop thinking about all the possible probabilities of what is gonna happen between you and chaandni tomorrow, it makes me feel dizzy.
Feminine.me: He is thinking about all probabilities? Cool temme temme..
Math.Me: Thats almost infinite probabilities, and his processing unit is no better than a pentium 4 to process that many probabilities...
Logic.me: * agrees *

Feminine.me: alright temme a few of them...best of them..
Pessimistic.me: The best one will be where she ties a rakhi band on his hand..
Feminine.me: LOL... ouch.
Me: :(
Stomach.me: go to the loo man.. quick... * growls *

* Temporal space of 6 hours, Couldnt sleep well, minor head ache *
Stomach.me: DUDE! :(
Me: what man!!.. control.. I cant help it.. I just cant stop thinking about the probabilities!
Feminine.Me: * yawns *.. You are not in "love" with her.. if you were you would have thought about "her" and not about the probabilities.. so chill and lets discuss..
Me: No! I dont even friggin know what the fhaakh " love" is ..
Feminine.me: okay fine.. * sings * chaaandni raaaatein... hai...
Me: :(

* Spacial space : Reaches destination: college of hottest chicks in mumbai *

Pervy.me: WHERE ARE THE FHAAKIN TISSUE PAPERS!!!! DOOOD LOOK AT THESE WOMEN!!!
Feminine.me: * yawns *
Pervy.me: This is like.. is like... heaven man!!!! Real women are so beautiful!
Feminine.me: :O you said " beautiful" , I bet the meaning of that term in your vocabulary differs from the generic meaning..
Me: What if she embarrasses me, in front of others.. or what if she is sooooo beautiful that I go.. " hello.... * faints * "
Feminine.Me: now you are talking!
Pervy.Me: dude!! fhaakh chandni. look at these chicks!!! fhirangs can kiss my ass!! Indian chicks ...so HOT?! who knew!
Me: i need to ask some one where exactly the college and the meeting is..
Pervy.Me: Ask that chick.. one in blue.. no no wait.. red one! red one!.. ask her!!

Me: * asks *
Pervy.Me: * faints *
Feminine.Me: This is much better than him fainting after masturbating.. see what real women can do without even touching you , or you touching yourself.
Stomach.me: I dont feel good man.. loo!!! NOW!
Me: Hold it man... dont fart on her , I beg you...
Stomach.me: stop telling me what to do.. I am already fhaaked up...* growls *

* Spacial space: reaches the venue , No chandni..*
Me: oookaaay....
Feminine.Me: aawwwwwww
Pessimistic.me: god damn it.. i would have loved to see you get fhaaked up..
Optimistic.Me: dont worry, better luck next time mate... and Thanks @ feminine.me for playing my role throughout.
Feminine.me: you are welcome..
Me: hmmm......
Pervy.me: look at these women!
Me: shut up man.
Stomach.Me: loo now now now!

* Spacial space: reaches home: with high end migraine *
Me: since you all have fhaked up my mind.. no painkillers for you.. feel the pain.
All.me-s: :(
Stomach.me: I wanna puke..

* 12 hours of migraine kills the " chaandni raatein" like it did for all other " raateins" *

Nationalism, Patriotism, Darwinism, Sexism,, Jism & all other ism.

2010-08-08T18:45:00.005+05:30

In my zero point zero zero zero one percent "blog writing" state these days ,I think this blog will be subjected to even more crap than it has ever before.
That is like bush administration being elected for the third time in a row.
Indian parliamentary proceedings, known for their jungle-ee behavior, have members who can speak better english both grammatically and logically than bush, but with an accent, a really fhaaked up accent. So when an "outsider" stereotypes indian accent, its like a "female dog" (see I didnt say the B word).. stereotyping humans about their way to have an intercourse. Unfortunately some humans do end up doing what the female dog does.. in the same way as some indians end up doing what the "outsiders" do.
This can be put in the category of nationalism. Or can it?

Suicide bombings, killings et al, that happen in ones country are more effective in causing some , if not too much of emotional turmoil than those bombings which occur outside your own country..
News: 5 bombs blew up in afghanistan, 10 died - among them were 4 children.
You:Who gives a fhaakh, where is my footbaal channel

News: 1 injured in a //insert any stupid reason to get injured// at // insert your neighborhoods name//.
You: Omg! is she/he okay!? lemme change my Facebook status to create awareness about //insert that stupid injury getting thing again in here>// and make a page about it to get million fans and prolly tweet about it till the end of time.

Is this "patriotism"? or provincial-ism .or just a consequence of stupid brainwashing that you and me are subjected to , by the media/parents/school since our childhood to actually believe in man-made boundaries which have no significance naturally, and categorize ourselves to be some kind of a separate species than the people living on the other side of the fence? But then brainwashing can make people to believe in invisible voyeur in the sky, so believing in man-made boundaries isnt a biggie..

Which brings me to Darwinism...

Predicting something in 1800's which stood the tests of molecular biology and genetics in 21st century is something to be appreciated. One cannot "believe" in something just because you find it "believable" or much easier to believe. Experimental evidence must support your "beliefs". Newtonian theory of gravity stood the test for 200 years, after it was " corrected" or "extrapolated" , read that again. Newtonian theory of gravity WASNT REMOVED, or SAID TO BE WRONG, it is what keeps our satellites revolving.. and missions to moon and mars possible.. Similarly, the theory of evolution has stood the test for 150 years, and may be extrapolated or corrected but wont be "wrong".You like it or not... its a fact of life,experimentally supported fact.. as true and correctable as the theory of gravity or any other scientific theory for that matter. Anything which is science , is not certain, and anything which is certain is not science. Is this darwinism? maybe.. but then it can be newtonism , einsteinism and what not.

Sexism.. :/
Politician: Men and women are equal.
No dude, they arent. I had read this statement somewhere that ..If all presidents/prime ministers of the world were replaced to be women, there would be a war every 28 days on an average, somewhere in the world.
They say " I like you " on 1st of april, " Fhaakh off" on 28th april, .. " I miss you" on 25th May and " get lost " on 23rd June.
This happens between India and pakistan, and our president is a woman.
I would call it as PMS-ism than sexism. If I make it big, am gonna invent a PMS-o-meter.
It would help me to decide what a girl says should be processed by my heart or by my mind.

Jism.. I dont know what it is... saw it in an american pie movie..
Anyhow..am gonna go out and hang out with my wang out...
Over n out.

Effortless efforts

2010-07-30T01:40:00.004+05:30

Scalar product of force and displacement is work.
If these two entities decide to be like an 'about to break up' couple, the 'theta' is 90 degrees and no work is done.
But time and energy are wasted. Yep, energy can be wasted without any 'useful' work done ;).

But then it depends what success means to you, whats its measure,
is it having fun & getting pleasure
or hasting for more and more treasure.
ooo I rhymed!

Such an act of wastefulness was performed by me today..
I was 'fixing' this blog for almost about 12 to 13 hours straight.
You know that you have worked hard when, your right hand wrist hurts and there is no latest logged record of you masturbating.

Was it worth it? I don't know... I played with HTML,XML, Javascript and CSS instead of myself for 13 hours.

Why the fix? Because I have started listening to others for a change.

Also, there seems to be a general agreement amongst different well isolated individuals about my mental state. All seem to have unanimously but unknown to each other have agreed that there is something wrong with me...

Apart from that, I wrote an entry for some indiblogger heart disease campaign ..
I guess its one of those collectors edition blog post where I havent wrote anything gross..So do read.. Click here

P.S, the silk dick experiment was a success.So no suicide.This blogs half life has increased & so has mine.Sorry for the disappointment @ my "well-wishers".

Let your heart beats sync to those from your sound system...

2010-07-19T20:44:00.006+05:30

Music & Science ofcourse..but given that I dont loose my hearing and/or fhaakh up my mind in the meantime..
Myriad of reasons (which I don't know) that can get one into a fhaaked up mind (FUM) state...

But if that happens, then I guess there is really no point in livin.. aint it?

Well I did entered the "fhaaked up mind" state quite often than I thought..the "cause" still unknown but never the less...here are the consequences of having few short bursts of FUM state..

A while back..I consciously caught my unconscious mind killing ants in the loo while pee-ing.. umm.. as in shooting'em down with my wee-wee using pee pee as ammunition....

The start-stop technique mentioned in kamasutra is what I was using ....

Fire!!! .. Pee-ew Pee-ew Pee-ew....

They were red ants.. invading my baap's property.. so theres nothing much PETA can do about it.. given that ants are considered animals (?).. or are they?.. :/

Another act of my mind in the FUM state was ... going live on a chat site.. where you are randomly set up by that chat server to chat with anyone online on that server...using your webcam..

While there was quite a large percentage of american population online on that site.. most of them were guys and they were all..well almost all.. (the remaining few ..were about to start) masturbating... :/ other displaying their million packs on their abs.... biceps etc etc, some with combo of both...

I placed my copy of " On the origin of species" in front of the cam..particularly to scare off, or rather de-h0rnify those masturbate-ers But there was an unexpected side effect... guess what! many chicks

( I mean really hawt chicks! ) actually stopped .. for a chat!... and sometimes a bit more .. *wink* *wink*

So I guess .. 6 pack abs still has a long way to go to score over Charles Darwin..eh ;)

OMG!Look!A Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Deep Fear - Sidekick

2010-06-26T20:50:00.012+05:30

Bass. I wonder why is it pronounced as 'base' rather than baaaas.. but then its english.

So Bass i.e low wavelength hath the prowess

to get your bowels to move, your body to groove ;

prolly make you do something without you having any clue..

Listen to this track, only if you have a good set of speakers,

no that doesnt necessarily mean bose or seinheisser or

whatever its spelling is...

It just means that your speakers shouldnt make a moan sound like a fart or vice versa...

Not studying for 3 days gives me a guilty feeling, I guess its a good thing..

But then after watching a Nat Geo Documentary on Lysergic acid diethylamide,

gives me a feeling of having it..
They said it was potent, Yea.. I got high just by watching that documentary..

I mean I would love to administer that drug,

lock myself in a room with a video camera on and monitor my behavior,

prolly write a blog entry during that psychedelic trip!

Even solve all the math problems in its influence.

2 days of fever has rendered me feel like a 90 year old

(still fully functional for an intercourse though), with a colon break down..

I guess the excitement/sexcitement during the excited E2 state is taking its

toll on me.

I wonder if I take LSD during this colon dysfunctional era ..

will it make my colon function like a gun barrel?

want a clue on what the part would function as a trigger ? ;) ;)

Back from the excited state....

2010-06-13T04:56:00.010+05:30

One month long quasi stability in the energy state E2 ended today... ( No, I wasnt high for a month)

I thought .. I would describe the time spent in that state...but then changed my mind...actually there is a blog post with "draft" status about such a description... ( or atleast part of it..)

Anyhow.. describing about such a state is like so typical of the situation... where the eldest son in the family goes to "umreeka" on "loan money" and then gets back and goes all blabber blabber beetch beetch about his stay there to his family members + relatives + friends + kachrewala/wali + watchman ..i.e everyone and anyone he meets.... and suddenly finds everything not right/unclean back home ... he compares anything and everything with / in US and some how finds "cleaning" his arse with tissue paper more hygienic than washing it...

In other words.. no description....

I wanna have some wine... ( one of the many things I learned from the E2 state.. :p )

Edit: & lemme introduce my new babe.. ubuntu 10.04 LTS ;) (click on the image below..) [She is too hot, the image will take time to load on your crappy winblows PCs or gay MACs..]

Mein Herz Brennt

2010-05-04T21:10:00.022+05:30

wist and turn und es werden burn...

(Note: Kindly dont solve

the problem in the figure

alongside, no matter however

jobless you are...

ummm.. Okay.. if you have

reached the jobless-ness par

with my level,

the answer is 0.54 N-m)

I thought I was stoic.. I guess am not.. I shud try harder.... or else..

Mein herz werden brennt... Till then an antacid would suffice....

Also I observed myself listening to my answering machines female voice over and over again...

Weirdly it has a some kind of so called "feel good" factor associated with it...

But alas she is being replaced by a george bush style male answerer... "Attack iraq! God asked me to!" fhaakh.

The Equation of Life?

2010-04-27T02:16:00.006+05:30

In my hyper sleep deprived state am talking philosophical nonsense again...

Parental advisory: Do not read.

General readers advisory: Okay I may have compelled you to read my blog.. but that doesnt mean you have to... It was the initial " childs new toy" effect...its like..

Me: I got something new.. lemme show it to you!

You: -_- Great! * sighs *

So anyhow...

Many events/instances get you musing...running your usually idle processor at maximum.. about some future most probable stuff that may happen if you do this or that now...

if x = 2 when t = today.. what will it be x = ? when t = 1 year... And you dont even know the equation! All guessing games? " May be" " could be" " mostly" " might be" " i think so" " it may"... Who knows!!! who cares!!?

Whats the best possible thing to do?... wait for more data?.. more variables? form the equation with as many variables as one can gather? probably...you "may" end up with better results than just hopping in with none..

but there is a tradeoff... the "t" doesnt remain t = 0 as one waits... it changes.. and so does all the variables which almost always depend on "t" that one has gathered in that waiting interval.

pretty fhaaked up situation.What am I gonna do? am going with the tradeoff.. let the fhaakin "t" change...So will I...As i have always said.. " The only constant in this universe is Change.."

What got me think about this bullcrap? Oh I always mention my source.. This song (dont ask why, coz I dont know why):

I guess I should sleep.... fhaakh exams ... sh!t....

I Me & Myself

2010-04-24T13:46:00.008+05:30

Event: Board Exams.

Time 1030 Hrs IST onwards.

Characters : Myself, Perverted.Me, Optimistic.Me,Pessimistic.Me, Math.Me, Logic.Me, Feminine.Me, and special appearances by other ".Me-s..."

* I enter the exam "hall" .. a bit early .. mummy ne bola early jane ko .. So there .. I take my seat.. have a self condescending talks with few other classmates about how am I gonna end up etc etc and starts reading ( coz everyone else was) some stupid xerox that I brought with me.. *

Perverted.Me: *yawns*...Why are we awake and reading sh!t this early?

Me: huh?

Perverted.Me: Dont you "huh" me, why are we here?

Optimistic.Me : Exams dood Exams...

Perverted.Me: The entrance sh!t? where he always fails?

Pessimistic.Me: Nah, the ones where you can " eat one night before and sh!t the same in the exam"..

Perverted.Me: Eat and sh!t exams! So am guessing.. board exams?

Pessimistic.Me: Yea, he is gonna fail this one too...

Optimistic.Me: No he isnt.. Also perverted.me you shud pay attention to his more normal life than making him watch jailbaitgallery all the time...

Perverted.Me: Dont teach me what to do.. If he had a GF and had kissed atleast one girl in his 23 years on this planet, I wouldnt even have to exist.. I relieve him from the stress you mothaafhaakas make him go thru.. "exams exams exams exams" Fhaakh you...

Pessimistic.Me: Exams or women or life.. he is a gonna fail..at everything... he shud commit suicide and stop wasting resources.

Optimistic.Me: What is your problem? Why cant you be a little more... you know... umm...

Pessimistic.Me: Optimistic? O_o

Optimistic.Me: Yeah That..

Pessimistic.Me: Look at my prefix.

* The answer sheets and question papers are distributed *

Perverted.Me: Dood .. look at the supervisor.. B00balastic!

Logic.Me: She is married..

Perverted.Me: Her b00ballas arent...

Logic.me: There is really no point arguing with you..

Perverted.me: then dont...

* reads the question paper *

Logic.me: Question 8 a,b 9b and 12 a,b look pretty easy ...

Optimistic.me: See you can pass this exams!

Pessimistic.me: no he wouldnt.. he will make tons of mistakes ...

Perverted.me: looking for chicks in an exam hall filled with students of physics that too a masters course is like looking for mother teresa in Osama's territory.

Math.me: The math part looks doable...

Me: will you all just shut up and let me friggin write ?

Perverted.me: No.

Optimistic.me: no..

Pessimistic.me: no

Me: :(

feminine.me: no...

Perverted.me: Look who is here!!.. hey sexy!

Feminine.me: go say that to your momma..

Logic.me: There is really no point abusing each other, atleast not on the basis of common factors..Thats like a mother calling her son, SOB.

Me: whats sinAsinB ?

Perverted.me: b00bsdik+dikb00bs+poosaay...

feminine.me: get a life asshole..

math.me: sin(A+b) plus cos(A-B).. or is it sin A- B and cos...wait..

Me: Wtf!

Math.me: dont wtf me... if you had spent more time reading trigonometry rather than ogling polish chicks .. this wouldnt have happened..

perverted.me: jailbait, polish chicks, ogling.. i know who you are pointing at ... sucker...the only sexy thing about trigonometry is that it has the term "sec C" .. you prolly masturbate to that @ math.me

logic.me: and you masturbate to 2D pictures.

Me: helloooo!! sinx is odd right? so bn-s will be zero? or an-s? fhaakh!

math.me: I dont know.. and i dont care..

Me: :S

math.me: ask perverted.me.

Perverted.me: I can lie tangent to the supervisors curves...

Me: logic.me .. can you be a less ego centric and find it out.

logic.me: for odd function.. bn's are zero

Me: thanks.. * solves *

Feminine.me: this is crap.. so who were you dreaming about last night...

perverted.me: me?..i was..

Feminine.me: save it for infinite amount of time,.. i wasnt asking you...

Me: Huh?

Feminine.me: so who was she?

Me: she who? The Dhokla girl?

Feminine.me: Not her... I mean her too.. but you know whom am talking about..

Me: who her? Oh HER??

Feminine.me: * wink wink * you know she likes you...

Me: how the heck did you know?

Feminine.me: Telepathic gossip, i chatted with feminine.her

perverted.me: dhokla girl? HER? Wtf... who are these chicks.. why the fhaakh do i not know about them! Traitors!

feminine.me: coz he doesnt want you to imagine them in brassier and panties..

perverted.me: oooo kinky!..

Math.me: Err.. why the fhaakin fhaakh are we discussing this in the middle of a fhaakin exam!?

Me: coz you quit on me...

math.me: okay.. derive sin a+b using exponentials and i guess you can get the formula..

logic.me: you guess eh?

Me: okay..I did that and am getting the whole fourier series as zero.. :S

math.me: solve something else...

perverted.me: lets solve the question about how to remove a brassier in under 5 seconds from outside of a dress..

feminine.me: ughh!!

* ten minutes warning bell rings *

Pessimistic.me: Thats the end of you.

Me: :( :( whats the Lapalace transformation of 1 over s+1..

perverted.me: keep your eyes on the supervisor when she collects your answer sheet.. strike a conversation.. so i can make some rough mental figures of her..

math.me: exp(-t)

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

math.me: ???????

Me: nvm...

* final bell *

Perverted.me: there she comes there she comes....Dood look up look up!!!

Me: and for 1 over s+1 the whole squared?

Me: Math.me?

* Math.me is away from keyboard*

Me: :( :(

* the end *

Somethings Wrong...

2010-04-20T12:40:00.018+05:30

I dont know what is, but there is surely something wrong. And its not even about my exams!

I find myself in weird states ... I find myself looking at stuff ( not THAT stuff ), rocking to and fro, rocking sideways unconsciously...like an autistic kid... and then wondering wtf am I doing...

I hate my scanner

The amount of music I have been listening to has decreased over a couple of days...

And look at this! am actually whining !... So freakin Gay!...

Prolly I shud just tune into 54house and fhaakh some math or the other way round.

Energize!

Orthogonality of the 2 worlds.

2010-04-07T08:46:00.012+05:30

Okay, so as many people know, am a guy with stereotypical Indian behavior/features.
Am cheap, I stink, I have that "buh-D" accent, I have enuff hair on me to put the werewolves to shame. Apart from that I have my own characteristic behaviors/features which do no better than just worsen the above mentioned stereotypes.
Critical environmental conditions got me to pick up even more characteristics which did no better either. From talking to another person, be it a relative/cousin or a stranger to talking to female entity took a lot of ladder climbing... and unfortunately am still hanging somewhere in between. I mean, I had to read books/articles , watch documentaries, listen to audio books on psychology, human behavior, social behavior.. etc etc for about 6 months just to initiate a conversation with a female entity. And by conversation .. I mean a conversation that didnt make her puke or grossed her out.
Anyhow.. I sought to try out this 6 months of stupidity in the real world. Till now.. I haven't got mauled, so am not hopping off the ladder yet..
Somehow in this trial and error tests, I happen to meet lots and lots of people with different backgrounds.. most conversations with them did have the typical awkward moments...

person1: hey
me: hey, how are you.
person1: am fine thanks.
me: hmmm...
( we both look at each other.. then at everyone else but each other..and if by mistake the line of sight intersects directly.. an awkward smile...)

or
(person 2 may be a classmate/friend lost in time)
me: *pokes/ pats on the back*
person2: hey!
me: do you recognise me?
person2: Ofcourse!.. you are.....
me: (-_-)

Its really not helpful to go completely disconnected with the school friends..or childhood friends..during their puberty to adolescent transition state... I mean if you know them till like 7th grade..and then you get disconnected... dont even think about showing up 5-6 years later..The mind cant take such a huge change suddenly, especially a change in their physic.
thats especially true for the girl folks (ofcourse!).. they cease to exist as the cute lil sister like personalities anymore...I mean its like.. if you have met her in 7th grade.. you would be more like.. " hey whats the homework.. will you do this part of my home work?.. alright cool.. bye" ... you dont even care to look her in the eyes or anywhere else for that matter :/ .....
And if you see her like after 7-8 years.. " hey!oooooo .." Your Mind stalls... and it pokes you and says: Dood look look !!, real b00bies! non pixel-ed b00bies!
You cant help it... but you can control it.. but the thoughts do occur. So you fight with your pervy mind and try to invoke the 7th grade mind state and try to fool the brain that its her! your homework do-er, your tiffin provider.. your school time care taker...etc etc... and it does no good. Between the war of these orthogonal worlds.. you end up talking with her in gibberish.. also defined as " immature" " childish" words...
And after the encounter is over.. I am like .. FHAAAKH!!! What the fhaakh just happened!...
Am so never ever meeting anyone....

Still observing the two worlds...
How orthogonal they are?...
Well, you take a person from each worlds to a restaurant on two different days respectively..
The orders arrive.. we start munching .. I eat something different, that person eats something different.

World 1:
Me: So hows it?
Person1: Nice, bit spicy.. but nice.. hows yours..
Me: yea .. its good ....

World 2:
Me: So hows it?
Person2: 10 Bucks.
Me: I mean..
Person2: you can fulfil your hunger though.
Me: nvm.

World1 x World2 = 0

I find myself at home in world 2.

20 days of ....

2010-04-02T08:03:00.009+05:30

Sleep. An important part of the daily human biological cycle.
I have been tactically ignoring it.
Reason : I really do not know.. it can be multiple reasons.. like
Reason 1 : 20 days till exams..
Reason 2 : Possibility of being made an april fool in the department of "feelings" ( Doesnt really matter though coz I dont really understand that department.. So I have under funded it .. it will cease to exist soon )
Example :
someone: I hate you.. > This part may be different < me: umm... OK? someone : April fool!!! > This part may be unsaid < ...... or a superposition of both, R = R1 + R2.

Traveling by Bombay local trains in almost 100% sleeping state during the rush hour can make the co-passengers feel that I may be gay. But sleep or no sleep the gay massage is inevitable. The important thing is to avoid keeping hands below the head level. Only pocket pickers and gay guys would do that... or gay pocket pickers. Coz any moment you move your hands you probably end up inside someones shirt...the matter could get even worse if you end up holding your mobile in your hand which is at a lower level than your waist... And you are prompted to text someone urgently and you are in the situation where you are looking down at your hand and the cellfone is horizontally parallel, but perpendicular to your body plane and is touching some other guys butt. And due to the continuous movement of the crowd and the train.. giving an impression of the cellfone being poked into his butt... So he looks back and winks.. And I Sh!t in my pants.

My parents have technically given up on asking me to study.. which is good but i want them to poke me to study.... coz during school days.. My dad used to be like.. '20 days remaining?! This is the time when even the failures and all the thugs have started studying.' Or .. 'few days left.. no ones gonna ask you to study after that ever...' .. Liar! But my mom differred orthogonally on that, she used to be like..' Okay exams over.. start writing multiplication tables everyday.' She could hit me with almost anything to get me studying... rocks, chappals, spatula anything handy enuff to be a makeshift projectile.If nothing worked.. then it would be emotional aatyachar. Like while playing soccer.. my team mates used to be like .. 'whoa dude whose team is that guy in and he is running pretty fast and dressed pretty weird'.. it would turn out to be my mom.. running towards me at throttle speed every player getting outta her way... And I would run away as fast as possible...or the fact of getting crushed by her was almost certain..

Okay am hungry..

New fone , old Girl , and the ancient festival of holi.

2010-03-01T21:27:00.011+05:30

Prologue : I had came across this girl on the internet, we shared fone numbers and had chatted once.. she is the one who defamed my vocal chords, she never picked up my calls since the defamation and as i too quited calling her she got me deleted from her contact list. Thats where the fun begins ;)

Disclaimer: Whatever she says is correct word to word as it was recorded by my fone's memory, while whatever said by me is not as it was recorded by my memory. All the reference to her location/age has been deleted for obvious reasons. One being, she is hot.

Me: Happy Holi missy.

Her: Whos dis?

Me: No one.

Her: K.

[ Temporal Delay ]

Her: Happy holi 2 u as wel. whoever u are.

Me: thanks.

Her: Who areu tho? Name plz.

Me: Obama. Barack hussain Obama.

Her: Whr did u get my num from?

Me: FBI database.

Her: Ha ha ha, Funny?

[ I dont remember what i replied to this, my fone declines to store sent messages. I like my fone nevertheless ]

My awesome fone's awesome monochrome screen!

Her: Out wid ur name loser. Enuf pranking.

Me: you can call me that @ loser. I wouldnt mind losing "stuff" to you.

Her: How useless can you get?

Me: How useless do you want me to get? :p

Her: I cant do nethn bout ppl like u.wish I cud.Got nthn better than sendin anonymous wishes to ppl?

Me: I can send other things if you are insatiable by my wishes. Sperms for example.

Her: Nameless wishes are really nt reqd.Tc.Gbye.

Me: Okay next time my wishes will have an identification number and my biodata/CV/resume attached to them.

Her: I think i know who u r.

Her: N nw stop textin me else ul get another lakh as ur bill.

[ She has prolly misunderstood me for being her ex bf or her ex ex ex bf(s) ]

Me: Eh? what?

Her: Are you dumb?

Me: Yes, am in the national institute of deaf and dumb, This was our first day at learning Short Messaging Service.

Her: Phew! Find ppl of ur type then.

Me: I did, thats why i messaged you in the first place. ;)

Her: Kp ur sad SOH wd u.

[ I have no idea what this meant ]

Me : err.. What? who/what is Kp and SOH.

Her: No. ur jst dumb whoever u are. Tc byeee

Me: bye.

[ She called me 3-4 hours after the above mentioned text assault. As usual i didnt pick up the fone and texted her back 3-4 hours after her call ]

Me: umm why would you call me?

Her: To hear ur caller tune

Me: Ah ok, so how is it?

Her: Nt gud..! Like uslf

Me: I love being bad :]

Her: Out wt ur name,stop bluffin arnd

Me:And what if I do not? will you still call me to listen to my not so good caller tune?

Her: Ok m tired realy.What fun r u gettin?

Me:Fun can not be categorized. and usually when i am having fun, girls do get tired :p

[ She calls me again, I dont pick up again. ]

Me:You could just download that song and listen to it instead of listening to it by calling me.

Her:Ah u knw what? Dun text me again until u have ur name in it. bye!

Me:Like am gonna listen to you, nevertheless the biodata is being prepared.

Her: Ur on ignore. Do what u want!

Me: Yay!

My Holi is always this colorful no matter what! :p

I'm gonna do things my way, It's my way My way or the Wrong way..

2010-01-16T01:29:00.014+05:30

Two weeks shattered in the nothingness of space-time. One by procrastinating and other by giving a few billion viruses simultaneous blowjobs. (read sore throat)

Am extremely addicted to House music on 54house.fm.

Dunno why, they play awesome mixes, they do not just mix songs but mix anything that makes audible noise.. from screeching of tables.. to the squeaking of door hinges.. from coughing and sneezing to farting.. and they make it sound so much cooler...

Its like .. " puk puk... ((Insert Disc scratching sound here)) dhup cheek dhup puk puk phuss puurrrrr".. etc..

It sounds much better hearing it than typing/reading it...

Mega exams coming up.. mega here stands for " If you fhaakh this exam, you shud buy apparatus for suicide"..

gotta study , but how .. thats always been the question...

Bollywood movie says " Study for excellence.. success will run after you.."

There is no excellence when it comes to education system in india..

its just get marks or become a sales person for ponds cream of antimarks..

I have decided to take a minor risk, doing things my way.. no lecture notes, no self notes, nothing.. its gonna be a wrong way .. but then I learned about static electricity by rubbing a silk cloth to my "thing" while masturbating... it was painful.. but I am never gonna forget what coulombs law is...

So extending this Silk Dick experiment, lets see the consequences..

If i stop blogging , i may have committed suicide , hence the failure of the Silk Dick experiment.

*Grooves*
Heyyyy .. i like it like this.. I like it like that... Come one baby lets shake what your momma gave you...
*/Grooves*

A Part/Piece of Crap.

2010-01-12T18:48:00.006+05:30

I was talked into writing a poetry on "emotions" at college, yep totally gay.. but the chick who talked me into it was.. you know.. so anyways..

heres the part of the rough work of the crap that I blabbered about the same....

Another Exam, Another Entry.

2009-12-12T23:08:00.009+05:30

The monitoring, the scrutinizing , the condescending the ------ ings etcing etcing have begun again.
But there are several changes in their mode of attack. But then my mode of defense has evolved too..
Technically I have to face another exam , three hours sleep, empty stomach and a migraine for one day or two to have a less tensed state of mind for about 2 to 3 weeks.

Socializing experiment is going pretty decent.. from eating food from a tiffin of a random girl to talking part in poetry competitions ( dont laugh ).

Also I have inferred that almost everyone online who gave me their phone numbers consciously have got me deleted and have prolly forgotten me completely.
Evidence for my inference? I called/texted them all.

And those who remember me , remember me when they have no one else to talk to. I have got them deleted irreversibly.
This was female gender specific.
Its better if everything said and done in a chatroom is forgotten like a virtual one night stand..
rather multiple stands.

Till later. ( Fhaakh you , may you get raped @ whoever are cursing/swearing me after reading this blog entry)

*grooves to 54house.fm*

My brain is having PMS.

2009-11-29T03:44:00.011+05:30

Weird as it may sound, I am having weird thoughts about everything in general.
The syllabus looks so vast that they can hold an exam just on the syllabus.
Like whats in the second unit of paper 3. Write a note of the paper 4 and its contents.

My lab partner is getting married and she has politely said " I need your help "..
I was like cool! Is your husband impotent!!!... Am ready to help you!! -- sadly that wasnt the case and she wanted more of a materialistic help.

Why there has to be so much math in physics!
math is to physics what periods are to a girl.

Am experimenting again in my socializing skills..
With smaller changes in my behavior .. nothing huge, it has been a success till now.. havent yet got slapped or mobbed.
Will expand it slowly.. But then i dont wanna get raped in exams. So i have to take care that it doesnt happen at the expense of another. Its like .. having extra maritial affairs.

So much sh!t happening around.. real life havent been so bustling before :p
Also I had so many wrong assumptions about the opposite sex.. for so many years!!
Its like .. being with foster parents without knowing abt it.. and being suddenly revealed one fine day...

Also online chatting sucks.. I am addicted to it I guess.. I hope I will " de -addict" one day like i did for gaming addiction.. Am sleepy now..

PS. Sex Sex Sex :p

I HATE TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!!!!!

2009-11-16T08:36:00.010+05:30

Whoever started this trend ,shud have been eliminated long time ago. Night time is so fabulous for almost every activity!
If you screw up the waking up schedule it take a kind of a lag for the biological clock to set in different parts of the body, it is not in sync everywhere ...the bioclock sets up in the head first and there is some kind of lag for its signal to reach the digestive system. So now am not only hating myself for waking up early but also for being a mobile gas station.. rather a walking - talking supplier of greenhouse gases ... If causing global warming was a crime.. i would be arrested before the SUV drivers.

back in the days of me orkuting, there were communities about " hate to wake up in the morning" .. with zillions of users.. I mean have you ever wondered how much greenhouse gas each one of them produced!?

Also I think I shud get a bit lower on the "sex" content in my blogs - just a passing thought.
okay its passed.
SEX SEX SEX SEX ... :P

Known Unknown Known Unknown Knownunknownknownunknown...

2009-10-31T10:20:00.009+05:30

hmpf..
This is like the third time I have opened this window to post something , the other two times all i did was type " hmpf.." and closed the browser.. that was like faking a moan and not going any further...

Am getting high on BBC documentaries and Richard Dawkins books. Preaching anyone and almost everyone about "atheism" and hence lowering my chances of getting laid , (which were anyways highly remote) to a negligible value. I have lost almost 67% of girls i had on my MSN list ( most of them catholic ) after they came to know about me being an atheist. Amongst the remaining few, are using weird never seen before chatting ways to convert me to their respective religions.
I will keep those " chatting ways " classified.

.... Fhaakh i have so much in my mind (almost none is important or of any sense).. if i type it all here.. this blog will go into the " 404 error" and will be lost in the dark deep space of the internets or in a woman's .. argh nevermind......
After no sleep for 30 hours the brain cannot really think of carnal desires...
Also I have discovered that my nose makes some finite angle to the vertical , its not straight.
I mean not in orientation.. not that my nose is gay or something and it would like to be shoved with diks and sh!t like that in its two holes...
One of my friend who was known to be very saintly and was of the type "who doesnt even look at girls".. he for some reason thought that to be a SIN. I have no idea how he got to be friends with me.
Lately, I bored him so much with my atheistic talks that he actually got interested in the opposite sex.I dont know if it was a boon for his parents in disguise.They can be sure that he is gonna supply raw materials for their grand children.I suppose he was pretty firm on the concept of "adoption".

My body is shrinking it seems.. I will soon be transiting from "disgusting to copulate with" to "totally un-copulatable" - if such word exists..I will be disrespecting all my ancestors if the latter happens. I mean they were successful to copulate, even with some predator chewing their arse whilst they being still busy transmitting sperms ( The formation of this statement makes it look like my ancestors were humping the predator itself.. which may have been the case - my mom calls me an animal sometimes... not due to my body mass index...but something else - you know "feelings" and sh!t like that.
With respect to my body mass index, I seemed to have been evolved from some praying mantis or some insect like that...)

people have mood swings.. am having interests swings.. and sometimes sperm density swings..

From neuroscience to psychology.. from linguistics to history... from sex..to.. umm.. sex ...
I feel like learning friggin everything!
Its like you wanna have sex in all possible sex positions, techniques , tricks .. etc etc all in one night with a girl. Like unleashing the whole of kamasutra on her....

Till next time.

Swine flu and You

2009-08-12T19:25:00.011+05:30

H1N1 mutant, n95 masks , tamiflu etc etc are the recently added terms to the vocab of people from sweepers to MBA personnel indifferently .. And so is this virus infection scare and ultimately the virus.

Malaria kills more people per day than this beeyatch virus, still it gets the name and the fame...Why? Attitude man!! Viruses have attitudes... ;)
The mosquitoes have started their day time shift and overtime to regain the crown back from this H1N1 mutant.

The media has managed to scare people so much that if the news reporter says insert tampons in your nostrils to protect oneself from swineflu , people would do it.

The "precautions" detailed in the news dailies and everywhere else are " wash your hands", " cover your face when you cough or sneeze", " don't spit".. " avoid crowded places if you are sick".. rewind back to your school days.. weren't these a De facto stuff to follow for a good hygiene ??? People need a friggin virus to make them follow these!!?? A freakin few strands of molecules??? Pathetic..

In Bombay , when in the local trains, the crowd in the second class compartments look like they all are infected by swineflu. Every ones coughing,sneezing.. spitting etc etc..
So flu or no flu they are infected in their minds.

I tried a thing today...While getting to the railway station , walking over the station bridge, it was heavily crowded and almost everyone was wearing a mask or a handkerchief ( or dupattas by girls/women)... just for fun .. I coughed super loudly .. like the patients of Tuberculosis..
And everyone almost got super scared and got away from me like I have shouted " I have got a bomb".. though I got a few abuses from behind... but the scaring them was worth it :p
I mean just coughing can give a power to scare people who are complete strangers!! That's some power!

My college is situated in the " foreigners attraction" area.. near gateway of India... taj and shit like that...
The swineflu scare has made us students from physics department to develop a phobia towards these foreigners .. ( this phobia strangely excludes all female foreigners... okay forget that I said "strangely" ) So some colleague of mine suggested that.. if you see a foreigner on the way, start screaming "swine flu swine flu " and spray them with an insecticide :/
We did try the screaming... and their white skin turned from white to red to some unidentified color in seconds.. like we were observing a color spectrum of a body being heated... heat being the swineflu utterance ...

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

So be vigilant even in the public loo..
Or you will be the part of this virus zoo...

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

To the media you should not believe ..
the media which thinks everything is true..
and doesn't bother to prove...
oh they are just trying to scare you.

Swine flu is something new
That can happen to you..
without a clue..

When in doubt just ask the docs who are the guru..
they are the ones who from day one, knew..
about how much of this flu is true.
They will make it easy for you ..
as easy as two plus two...

So everyone ho jao shuru...
Swine flu is nothing new...
Its natures way to make us pay our due...
It wont stick to you forever like a glue..
Wait a while and you would say " oh the flu? , away it flew"

For the already infected few...
You have no one to sue..
So stop the pursue ..
and go to the doctors crew...
and get few tabs of tamiflu...
And you will sing this shitty song too..

Okay now am out of rhyming words... so just boo.. and leave :/